In recently getting my sorry ass dumped I felt compelled to create a post on relationships and fishing. Considering the amount of time, energy, danger and lack of sleep that is inherent with what we do........


1. How do you guys successfully or unsuccessfully manage having a wife, wife and kids or a girlfriend while still being an active fisherman?

2. Have you had many failed relationships until you found the one that can put up with you and your obsession? What was the difference, You changing for her OR was she just that understanding....?

3. What are the frequent complaints you get/got from your significant other?

4. Why are we so willing to push the envelope to the point of strain or failure with our relationships? It's just a stupid fish right?


For me and my recent situation, my ex felt that she was putting so much more effort into the relationship than I was. She was right. She was, granted I was very clear about how much I love fishing in the Spring and Fall....When I reminded her of that condition she told me I fished all summer long with no break between Spring and Fall. "We had a late run this Spring" was my only reply. I tried to explain to her that I do care about her and that it will get better as I became a smarter fisherman and when that occurs I would not have to put as much time in. She wasn't willing to wait the unknown amount of time.

I would hear things like "Can we take a real vacation for once. Can you just give up one weekend for us? God I hope you get your 50 soon so we can spend some time together. You always put fishing before me"...and the list goes on and on.

I'm not sure what my drive is. I know I have goals and I know I have to put time in to attain them. Why I have ruined relationships is not only because of fishing but it plays a part in a quite a few. I am interested in hearing your stories and explanations.

GG

1. How do you guys successfully or unsuccessfully manage having a wife, wife and kids or a girlfriend while still being an active fisherman?





$$$

Call her and tell her you love her and if that dosent work beg.
I'm sorry man.
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If you find the right person there shouldn't be much of an issue. Been married for almost 11 years, have 3 kids, and am the sole breadwinner of the house and not ONCE has my wife asked me to slow down my fishing. If anything she is a proponent of me doing things in my free time that make me happy. She knows that most of the early season is spent on the water, at least the mornings, and the fall always runs long, well into November. But she sees I'm happy doing it and she is happy for me. I still manage to make a living for us, and have missed some epic days due to my own commitment to going to work, so there certainly has to be a balance.
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I don't fish NEARLY as much as you do :-D

And she works every third weekend
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When you find a good woman, that will put up with our chit, and you share an absolute TRUST with, you have a keeper and you would have to be an absolute dope to not recognize when you need to choose NOT to go fishing, or whatever.... That's not to say that you need to have a high maintenance model mind you. Just be able appreciate what the other half brings to the table. And know what it takes to nurture that. Anyone who has been to our home knows how spoiled I am.... I would have to be an idiot to screw this thing up.

Fishing cost me my relationship with my sons mom. It took getting to boot to realize I gave her the impression I cared more about a stupid fish than her. It seriously put the flame out for surf casting for me and I just kayak fish now. I guess I am a recovering bass a holic.
If you want her back you have to realize that fishing 24-7 is a selfish self centered activity and you need to have a balance between fishing and the person you are in a relationship with. People in relationships do things together. ;)
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Niko has got the best signature on this site.



"my 1st wife didn't like me fishing so much "

:jester:

Guess I am the luckiest man on the planet! My wife not only lets me fish when ever I want....she likes to fish with me and the best part is.....she is good at it!!!:uhuh:

that bitch had to go

Guess I am the luckiest man on the planet! My wife not only lets me fish when ever I want....she likes to fish with me and the best part is.....she is good at it!!!:uhuh:

Some might suggest shes better !

You know when I had a kid i promised my wife my fishing would not interfere with family time. The hours in between are mine to do with as I please. They go to sleep I go fishing. They wake up I come home. There are special occasions where I get to fish when ever and how ever I want. But I drag ass through te days and try to not let exhaustion get the better of me.
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that bitch had to go

LMFAO! Love it. I can hear your voice saying it too....

disclaimer; I am a divorce survivor as well, but fishing was not part of the equation....

Greg, its not just you and your fishing, although that is half of the equation.

the other half can be attributed to a woman's jealousy that comes from the lack of understanding of your passion, and the threat that passion brings. Your relentless drive and passion towards fishing is the achilles heel of a woman's self esteem and self-worth. How many times have you given up a prime-condition night of fishing just to sit on the couch and watch complete crap on TV? Certainly doesnt seem like the "quality" time the girl was asking for, so how the hell does she seem so content right now? Because it doesnt matter what you guys are doing together as long as you picked her over the hobby that threaten"s her self esteem.

Every woman needs to be made felt a priority, and it shouldnt be a chore if we truly care for them... But the often unrealistic lack of understanding of our love for fishing is a threat to them. Many women simply do not have hobbies or activities that they cant wait to do... they get into a relationship and their significant other is their only hobby. They want to know when you'll be done fishing and back by their side before you even leave.

I can go on and on....

This is not a simple answer, and is different and ever-changing for each individual. I am married, have 2 young kids, and fish a lot. I am very rarely asked point blank not to fish, but i can pick up on subtle (or not so subtle) clues as to when to take a break. I will catch up to you on the phone...

But for now, its almost september, you are single, so double down on the red bull and fish guilt free!



***Edit: I should mention that most of my above thoughts apply to the dating/girlfriend stage, since that is where you are coming from... once you are married with kids, you fish when you can but you gotta man up and put family first... I have cancelled or been really late to meet friends quite often. I fish alone a lot because i basically get out when I can get out.

I'm writing this after planning to go out all day at work, then getting home and the wife in not so many words saying no. But, I understand it burns through gas money and money when I need new gear, am replacing lost or broken stuff. And it helps that I wait till everyone is in bed to fish. That way, no one cares.

Anyone who has been to our home knows how spoiled I am.... I would have to be an idiot to screw this thing up.

And yes, I can vouch for Ross.....he's freakin spoiled! lol

Jackbass: i agree 100%

They go to sleep, I go fishing... and I am always home before they wake up and do what I need to do no matter how tired I am... My topwater lures get NO play, because when they are awake, i am with my wife and kids.

Years ago I golfed a minimum of three days a week and fished here and there. I wasn' t being true to myself, and my wife hated me doing both, plus working a couple of double shifts a week put an extraordinary strain on our marriage. My wife worked nights and some weekends in a hospital. So we had more and more talks about it, and one of the few times I actually understood what she meant and wanted without spelling it out in black and white I made the decision to pursue fishing, (because I was being pretty selfish), and I have built on that ever since.
Bev is pretty tough to deal with sometimes(very strong sure person), but she makes all the meals, and within reason I get to pursue my passion twelve months a year. I am a cerftified, bonified, recreational saltwalter fisherman with everything that entails.

I am sorry your relationship collapsed. My brother says that coming home to an empty house sucks. I rather fish less and come home to my girl rather than face that empty house. Peace.
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That being said, if the bass are hitting I can go as much as my body can handle.

Plus I fish the Vineyard every year for two weeks, plus I have been married thirty-seven years.

that bitch had to go

Lmfao!
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You know when I had a kid i promised my wife my fishing would not interfere with family time. The hours in between are mine to do with as I please. They go to sleep I go fishing. They wake up I come home. There are special occasions where I get to fish when ever and how ever I want. But I drag ass through te days and try to not let exhaustion get the better of me.
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That's the answer. I've been married going on 46 years and, as you guys know, I fish as much as anyone here. The secret is you fish while they sleep. Sleep is over rated anyway.

I have never, with a few notable exceptions, let fishing interfere with my home life.
I am writing this at 2:15 AM. Jeanne is sleeping. Time for me to go to the boat and fish.

males and females perceive time differently..... (easily proven as you wait for her to be ready

it's important to "know" how the other half is feeling and not just guess about it

absenteeism will not be tolerated indefinitely.... sometimes a SURPRISE is welcomed

and sometimes you have to set more realistic time usage for you to do "something"
together that you both enjoy..... to create time stamps ....memories that you can return to

I got divorced, moved to Brant Rock, bought a bigger boat and am enjoying the single life. It's nice to make your own decisions for a change. If a woman doesn't umdersand your passion then they really don't care about your happiness . I thought I had a good balance but sometimes there are other issues involved. It might seem bad now but it gets better.
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The reality is......we are only here for a short time and you get one swing at life! To not do and enjoy the things that you love well then I think you are cheating yourself! Certainly in life and relationships one has duty to family and responsibilities to tend to.....and outside of those obligations being met its time to enjoy ones life to the fullest and that goes for both men and women! Its give and take and when a relationship gets to be all give on one side and all take on the other......its time to drop the curtain on that show and move along! I am divorced once and that had nothing to do with fishing and everything to do with her being a douche'! When I met Angie I told her in no uncertain terms...."I fish......thats what I enjoy doing and if she got in the way of what I enjoy doing something would end and it won't be my fishing"! I had slogged through the #^&#^&#^&#^& in my previous relationship and was not going to slog through another....I would have been fine being alone (I already had my 2 sons) and doing exactly what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it but I met Angie and she understood and had been divorced herself so she understood what I was saying! Fortunately for me we have a great relationship, she loves fishing as well and never fished before she met me....she has her own gear and kayak and sometimes she goes with me and sometimes not! If you can find someone who understands these things I have said you will be better off....and more better off if they can share your passion and be supportive of your interests and you can be supportive of hers!:fishin:

When you find a good woman, that will put up with our chit, and you share an absolute TRUST with, you have a keeper and you would have to be an absolute dope to not recognize when you need to choose NOT to go fishing, or whatever.... That's not to say that you need to have a high maintenance model mind you. Just be able appreciate what the other half brings to the table. And know what it takes to nurture that. Anyone who has been to our home knows how spoiled I am.... I would have to be an idiot to screw this thing up.

What Ross said...
It took me 3 tries.. 2 marriges and a failed teen age romance.,..first one( marriage) was not all my fault.. I should have listened to my mother.. after 12 years she left me with 4 kids.. one of them 2 years old with chicken pox... 2 of them from her previous marriage... on that same line, I had an adorable girl in High school and a year beyond.. I did what I wanted and she complained.. to my mother and her father... both had a "talk "with me and in the end we both moved on...she came to my Mothers funeral 15 years ago..my mother was a seamstress and made every piece of clothing the woman owned ( she was extremly patite and small..)... she was still adorable. she married a plumber who treats her like the princess she is.... this brings me to the present... I am a lucky man...there is alot of give and take.. but as both of us are older and found each other later in life... we both realize there is no changing the other... our relationship unlike the early years is built on trust..insted of being driven by hormones and selfish wants.. comanionship and an understanding that one is not going to change the other....... we both makes sacrafices... we never argue..we always come to a comprmise we are both happy with.. she helps prep my boat every year and put it away in the fall... she almost never sets foot in it.. except to maybe put another coat of non skid on the deck.. she asks me after evry trip "how'd ya do?".. she really does care... the least I can do is grant her very few wishes...as Ross put it...I'd be an idiot to screw it up.

Tuna got a few of my "uncles" marriages.

Leave in June, come back in november. Wife bangs the mailman.

It really is about finding that truly understanding woman. My first wife simply did not understand my obsession. Even when I fished while her and the kid slept, she would be looking for for signs of wariness in me all day after. She had no obsession of her own and I was not giving up mine so it ended, thankfully because she was a lazy pychopath anyway....

On my very first date with my current and final wife we saw the movie Fever Pitch. If you remember it was all about the guys obsession with baseball and how it screwed up all of his previous relationships. My date could not understand why I was laughing hysterically through the whole movie but it set the foundation for honesty and respect of our individualism that has only grown stronger in the 8+ years siince. (married two)Now it does not matter if we are in the middle of a family BBQ, out of town shopping or if it is 2AM, if I get a call about a blitz she throws me the keys and says hurry up, go get em! She is awesome and because ofthat I actually fish less and want to be with her more (as long as the blitz is not 40-pounders).

Good luck finding that woman and do not start looking until mid-November!

1. How do you guys successfully or unsuccessfully manage having a wife, wife and kids while still being an active fisherman?



Wife and kids are ALWAYS your 1st obsession/priority......if they aren't then you're the one with the problem....sorry, tough love :hihi:

I also don't think I've ever met a guy that wasn't a bit of a dumb A-hole......and they put up with it quite a bit.....so if they are dropping hints like Why don't we take a normal vacation.....for gods sakes, leave the friggin rod home and take her to Jamaica and make her happy.

I guarantee you'll get more bitch-free fishing time if you make your wife happy and show up for ALL your kids soccer games.....

Don't know about girlfriends.....they are just crazy.....once you find one that makes a good wife....see above.
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that bitch had to go

Spoken like a Gentlemen and Scholar.

My wife has accepted that I am an absent husband from June thru Oct

when see gets grumpy about it

All I say is I could be Going to the Bar !

and that seems to put things back into perspective

And fish while they sleep is huge

You have to find the right woman
It helps greatly if her friends have stupid sad sacks of an excuse for partners/husbands and dysfunctional relationships which can make you look good and be forgiven for your absences. Get them to tell you how wonderful you are. And always be honest. Fish at night while they sleep, worked for me. And if you have kids, you be the one to handle the early AM feeding and soon you'll be taking the little one with you trout fishing or whatever.
good luck

I never like to read threads on this topic because it saddens me. Many, many, of my fishermen friends have broken marriages/relationships. Some of them wish they had changed their ways and saved their marriage. They are lonely. I feel so fortunate be happily married for 31 years. When my wife and I first talked about marriage I was chasing striped bass 6 nights a week. I told her I’d love to get married but I didn’t want to give up fishing because striped bass controlled my life. Even at that young age I’d seen what this addictive compulsion could do to relationships. Until we had children I continued my addiction to fish but as I grew older with a young family I began to put things in perspective and prioritize my life. On one particularly good night I was into a very good bite including my first over 50 – I left that bite to take my son to soccer practice. Some guys I’ve known would have blown off the kids practice and kept fishing. I still fished but dropped down to 3-4 nights a week. Currently I’m very content with fishing maybe one or two nights a week. The most important perspective in my life is when I realized that my family is THE MOST IMPORTANT part of life. Fish are fish and I still love chasing them but not at the expense of true family happiness. I sincerely wish you all the very best in finding a relationship that prospers and lasts forever.

In the words of Vito Corleone.
"A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man"
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I think a lot of guys are delusional about what they have the capacity to do, if you are spending a lot of time away from your family for fishing or work, or whatever, don't be surprised when you wife has had enough and your kids can barely relate to you.
It's been said a million times, everything in moderation, nothing good can come of sheer obsession at the expense of everyone else, you will always end up lonely, maybe some of you are OK with that though, it just isn't what I want out of life. So what's the end game, you have a bunch of 50s, people on the internet love you, but no one else does!

I am in 32 years!She use to complain then we had kids to keep her busy, Then the kids started to fish with me and it was a losing battle on her end LOL When I got into boating it was a new issue all about the money, So I just made as much as I could and she was happy. When it did get tuff i just say i sleep, eat, work, and fish! i am not drinking, whoring, or drugs, i am fishing!! but i could do the other things if thast would make her happy!
in return i never said anything about her going out with friends or family, she could go anytime day or night, but same for me!
Now we are alone kids grown and gone, if you said joe you want to fish tonight, I say yes, in the morning i wake up and say I am leaving to go fishing with?? she say ok when you coming home, I say you know when I go fishing I don't go by a clock so I be here when ever. bye

It works for me

Yeah,
Mine has always pretty much let me do what ever I want, as long as I didn't come back home hammered.

I stopped getting hammered. Lots of other things worked out then, to boot.

Seriously, you have to find the right kind of significant other and the rest sometimes works out for the best!

I'll respond in all seriousness:

You need to make her feel like you think she holds a higher place than fishing. Make sure she feels loved and you should be good to go. I feel like this naturally leads to fishing less hardcore, but I find it worth it when we do other things together. If you don't do things together when you aren't fishing (sitting around and watching TV doesn't count) then she is going to constantly think in the back of her head, "He puts all the EFFORT into fishing, and just takes me for granted." Its a tough balance, because fish are trying NOT to spend time with you, she is doing the opposite, so you naturally concentrate on preparing for the fish more than the woman.

At the same time you need to establish early the line between the time you spend doing whatever you need to in your spare time and the time you spend with her. Even in a marriage situation you need "you" time, and making that clear in a respectful manner is important.

Sarah sat me down a couple years into our dating relationship and read me the riot act, told me I was obsessed, etc. I thought about it for a couple days and realized she was right... and I do a much better job of balancing things than I used to.

"Finding the right woman" is great advice, but even the best one won't tolerate feeling like a second wheel to a hobby, unless its pulling in big $$.

Compromise man. I fished all morning. Now I'm at the winery. (She's in the bathroom).
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When the young ones ask me for advice on women, ( good luck with that )
I say, women deal more with emotion and men with twisted logic.
Emotion always trumps the way we think.
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It is about the right woman ... in my early to mid 20s, I dated a woman who I thought was "the one," but she used to say (or whine) to me that there was not enough room in my heart for her and fishing ... we talked about it and eventually agreed to part ways ... should I have compromised more ... possibly, but her attitude was all or nothing, at anytime of day ... so it was pretty constrictive ...

... while there were a string of women between that earlier woman and the woman who mothered my daughter ... now my ex ... when we connected, ... at the beginning she encouraged me to go fishing and enjoy myself ... it was an excellent relationship and one that I had not had much experience with ... she would let me sleep in, make me breakfast and coffee in bed, give me a massage ... so I was on top of the world ... but I was also somewhat selfish and immature ... and things started to change ... no longer did she let me sleep in after a long night of fishing and make me breakfast and coffee ... I had to be up at 6 or 7 to help with our little girl, and things around the house, she would call me while on trips such as at Cutty or one of the Tri-State tournaments ... and there was always some kind of emergency ... yet, when I rushed home, there was no issue ... so when she said she wanted to fly, I asked her what airline (I was upset and pissed) but my relationship with my daughter is a thousand times better than it was when we were a whole family ...

... and today, I always defer to my daughter over fishing, as the time with her is far superior ... regardless of how much I love to fish, I'd rather be awake and present for my daughter during the day (and it's hard to go fishing when she is asleep and no one else is home - so it's not an option or a consideration) ... as when I fish all night, and don't sleep during the day, I am a zombie, held up by coffee and I am not serving my daughter's best interest ... so I always select quality time with her over fishing ... I think TDF helped to school me in that philosophy somewhat, and it has been on target for me.

I am celebrating my 1 year anivesary in oct. I don't think i fish as much as some people on this site but my wife still thinks it is obsessive. I also hunt as obsessively as I fish, maybe even more. She is mostly fine with it but there are times when I give in and skip a night of fishing or a hunt. But that being said my one piece of advice is to tell her before you get serious that you are a fisherman. You will always be a fisherman, and you have been fishing long before you met her. It needs to be up front how important it is for you to fish, and she needs to know what it means up front to be fisherman. it is also most important that she knows, ( or thinks) she is number 1. The right women will never tell you, you can't fish. The right women ( and they are out there), may not like your obsessive behavior, but will recognize your primal instincts and support you. My condolences to you on your break up, but just think of all the strange @&$$y you will be getting I between fishing trips. :) just saying, the cup is half full. So good luck, that being said you are probably at the canal right now and I am going to go spoon and watch sex in The city
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I am celebrating my 1 year anivesary in oct. I don't think i fish as much as some people on this site but my wife still thinks it is obsessive. I also hunt as obsessively as I fish, maybe even more. She is mostly fine with it but there are times when I give in and skip a night of fishing or a hunt. But that being said my one piece of advice is to tell her before you get serious that you are a fisherman. You will always be a fisherman, and you have been fishing long before you met her. It needs to be up front how important it is for you to fish, and she needs to know what it means up front to be fisherman. it is also most important that she knows, ( or thinks) she is number 1. The right women will never tell you, you can't fish. The right women ( and they are out there), may not like your obsessive behavior, but will recognize your primal instincts and support you. My condolences to you on your break up, but just think of all the strange @&$$y you will be getting I between fishing trips. :) just saying, the cup is half full. So good luck, that being said you are probably at the canal right now and I am going to go spoon and watch sex in The city
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Great post till the end......FAIL!

Been with mine for a little over 3 years now. When i first met her we had coffee and i said i must warn you i am an addict. To which she replied what are you addicted to. I said fishing! She replied i dont get it. I said i get cold sweats, cranky, cant sleep if i dont fish i come and go all hours of the night, but the more of a fix i get the happier i am... she laughed out loud and said ok. We have been together ever since, most night / mornings she has some packed for me to take will get and make me some food or when i was drinking coffe she would have it made. Never once complained i was fishing too much, but at the same time respecting the relationship agreement, i woukd make sure we had some time together. (Rain high winds non fishable days of course)


Oh and if you ever feel you have to work @ a relationship, GET OUT RIGHT AWAY! I am also a workaholic too...


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Jack Bass Has it. It's like a bank account. Too many withdrawals with no deposits and it goes bust.

In my first marriage I know I could have been a better husband and father had I not been so obsessed with fishing. It wasn't the sole reason for the divorce but it did play a big part. I've come to understand that life is about relationships and balance. Without realizing it many fisherman are trying to fill that void thinking that the next catch will bring lasting contentment,, meanwhile his family who enables him and even cheers him on at times are feeling the real void of not having a husband and father around, when he is around he's on short sleep and thinking how to manage his income so that it fits to his needs.

I do not want to be know as the guy who puts his so called passion of fishing at the top of the list second to his wife and kids and family. Hate to say it but been there done that. Thats sad pretend life. If you decide that fish are your God then you will as such.

Its Saturday morning, cloudy and fishy as hell, my wife who luvs fishing is gone for the day and Im in no rush to stick lip,, fishing now is just a vehicle to build relationships.

Luv what you said Rockport

It wasn't the sole reason for the divorce but it did play a big part. I've come to understand that life is about relationships and balance. Without realizing it many fisherman are trying to fill that void thinking that the next catch will bring lasting contentment,, meanwhile his family who enables him and even cheers him on at times are feeling the real void of not having a husband and father around, when he is around he's on short sleep and thinking how to manage his income so that it fits to his needs.

:love: You got it!

From a womans point of view (yes we are far more emotional as a whole) I married my husband becauseI love him and we enjoyed many of the same types of things and we get to do them TOGETHER. We enjoy each others company and actually want to share life's experiences together. Sure there are limits to this for example I can spend an hour propped up against a tree waiting for a turkey but 4 hours? Hell no, thats his thing. Does he like fishing? yes but not like I do and thats ok. We have learned to compromise a little better over the years too. I used to get irritated if I wanted to go fishing and he didnt. Then I just decided to ask him if he wanted to go and if he didnt I would say "do you mind if I go?" he would always say "not at all" and I would thank him and off I went. I think we get along so well because we share a mutual respect for each other. Whenever we do something without each other we always ask "honey do you mind"? most times the answer is "sure" and sometimes the answer is "well I prefer you didnt" but never is the answer "no you cant".

There are a lot of factors that I think play a role in it. Maybe you never picked the right person in the first place, maybe you did but you were a jackass, maybe your spouse was being a jackass but one thing I am pretty sure of is if your both not in it "together" and dont feel like your a team that needs to support each other (goes both ways ya know) than you might as well forgot it. I often wonder why a man will ask a woman to marry him and then bitch about how he has to get away from his ol' lady. If thats TRULY how you feel than hire a friggin maid and be a batchelor the rest of your life!

Bottom line is and everyone here should agree with me on this, that you become a better fisherman or woman by putting the time in right? Well, relationships are no different!

....aaaaaannnnd with that being said he just came in with a rediculous pairing of shirt and pants. We are going to a party not a 10 day mountaineering expedition! Sheesh! He mumbles, I mumble tell him to wear whatever he wants dammit!

He just changed :) :love: Order restored!


True story.:biglaugh:

....aaaaaannnnd with that being said he just came in with a rediculous pairing of shirt and pants. We are going to a party not a 10 day mountaineering expedition! Sheesh! He mumbles, I mumble tell him to wear whatever he wants dammit!

He just changed :) :love: Order restored!


True story.:biglaugh:

You gotta know my wife. She's put up with me for almost 46 year and she still doesn't like my "casual attire".:rotf2:

I have been married 22 years my wife has been great about fishing. She is not a huge fan of all the fishing related purchases fishing related purchases, when you already have a basement full of fishing stuff. I usually go early. Alot of times when I get back the kids are still sleeping. Teenagers can sleep in pretty late. She also does not mind other hobbies I do golf, biking, skiing. My son and have have done quite a few hikes in the White Mountains and Maine. I like doing different things, so it is not fishing all of the time.

You gotta know my wife. She's put up with me for almost 46 year and she still doesn't like my "casual attire".:rotf2:

I am knowingly and admittedly NOT a fashionista myself so when I recongize a bad match I know it has to be really bad by most people's standards :)

I have to say I felt really bad for saying something ti him about it after my whole "reflection" on respecting and compromising. As they say timing is everything right?

Jenn , speaks :love:

thau shalt not listen ........Oh already did that :devil2:

no comment of this tread .................55 years of consuling because of it :smash:

....aaaaaannnnd with that being said he just came in with a rediculous pairing of shirt and pants. We are going to a party not a 10 day mountaineering expedition! Sheesh! He mumbles, I mumble tell him to wear whatever he wants dammit!

He just changed :) :love: Order restored!-


True story.:biglaugh:


Boy thats sounds familiar. Too funny
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Lots of words of wisdom here. Thank you everyone.

GG

Don't leave now honey;all the plants will die...

I'll bite and jump in the circle of fishermen's therapy group.

Fishing has been a passion of mine since I've been able to walk,
with that being said...

I've been married for eighteen years and have two kids,my wife and I both work and try to manage life's relentless curve balls.
It has been a constant struggle of balance,time management, funds, catering to the kids with sports,music and what ever eles they can come up with, but most importantly quality time with my wife.

I'm not clear voyant but I get it!

Being a father,husband,friend, partner in crime, either way I committed myself to this and will not retreat,retreat hell!

It's to easy to do the wrong thing and give up, life is to fragile.

Relationships are similar to fishing,I look at it as being able to read the water, and same applies to relationships...

I consider my self lucky to be alive and fortunate enough making it this far in life with what I have and what I've been able to accomplish on and off the water.
The fish will always be there,so I go when the timing is right.

Tight lines!
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Just broke up with my girlfriend of about a year and a half. I could get into a bunch of reasons why this happened, but just about everything people have said here couldnt be said any better. A lot of the things about balance, and not having your relationship be your hobbie rang very true with me. But in so many words, nikos post wins

that bitch had to go

:rotf2: Post of the year candidate

I think it helps to have some kind of agreed upon schedule at the outset of the relationship. We agreed to one full day a month, plus
a few short local trips on weekends a few years ago, and that seemed to work. (When I was single, I was out most weekends, often both days).

Also helps to sneak in trips in good locations when you're out of town. Or, if all else fails, you can just fake it. Took a day off a few years ago where I dressed for work, drove to Rhode Island, changed to fishing clothes, fished the whole day, came back, changed back into my dress shirt and pants, and walked into the door like nothing
had happened (some sunblock was useful too!).:wave: Hey, whatever works!

I think it helps to have some kind of agreed upon schedule at the outset of the relationship. We agreed to one full day a month, plus
a few short local trips on weekends a few years ago, and that seemed to work. (When I was single, I was out most weekends, often both days).

Also helps to sneak in trips in good locations when you're out of town. Or, if all else fails, you can just fake it. Took a day off a few years ago where I dressed for work, drove to Rhode Island, changed to fishing clothes, fished the whole day, came back, changed back into my dress shirt and pants, and walked into the door like nothing
had happened (some sunblock was useful too!).:wave: Hey, whatever works!

You better hope she doesn't read this.:love:

I am on my second marriage my first one failed for many reasons my self centered hobbie didn't help but she was understanding of it and even relocated so I wouldn't have to drive far to fish. I do fish less in this relationship now then before but that bc iam older and my body can't hang with my old ways. Every girl is different and you'll have to find a way to keep them happy as well. My new wife lets me fish as much as I want as long as I pay my "fishing taxes" as we call it now. If a good set of tides are coming up she can usually tell. Lol
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I've been fishing less and less. She doesn't seem to like me any more than she did when I was gone all the time. :tooth:

My second wife likes when I fish but doesn't understand when I show up without dinner. To her the act of fishing is very closely linked to food. Pure sport fishing she can't quite wrap her head around. Her parents are from the Azores. I think eating fish is simply encoded in the DNA of island people.

So now I spearfish--it's fun and a very good way to harvest protein from the ocean.

Hello everyone. It's been a few years since I've posted.

John

Great article in this months OTW on swordfish. That was you, right John?

Thanks Paul. Yes it was. I'm glad you liked it.

I've been fishing less and less. She doesn't seem to like me any more than she did when I was gone all the time. :tooth:


Now that is a Classic line right there !

hey John , they must not swim very far after you release them spearfishing ><><:fishin:

Yes true Mike they don't like it.

Any steamers left up your way or did the divers wipe 'em all out? Damn divers.

wiped them ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLllll out :smash:

I get it and know how hard it is. Almost 2 years ago at this point I came home to an empty house and it really really sucked... Def one of the low points in my life after a 7 year relationship. Hunting and fishing are what did it with out a doubt. It was fine when I was doing it but her brother and father got involved and then her Mom started complaining which rubbed off on her.

My advice is: Find the right girl! I did the whole online dating thing (yes it was weird) but it paid off in spades. Met someone basically from my home town and she fishes with me one day a weekend for the most part and has been to the duck blind a few times as well. When you find the right one it won't be a problem.

Good luck and keep your head up!

I fish, I race sailboats, I spend time offshore, she knew from the start that was the deal. And is fine with it.


My advice is: Find the right girl!

Yup.

I fish, I race sailboats, I spend time offshore, she knew from the start that was the deal. And is fine with it.



Yup.
She's a keepah
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She's a keepah
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And drives the boat, and fishes and occasionally races.

My friends are trying to set me up with some of their lonely friends.

I tell them.

1 Non smoking
2. Not a drunk
3. Not addicted to xanax or adderall
4. No kids
5. Not in therapy

They tell me she doesn't exist, good luck.
I'm gonna have to lower my standards.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

My friends are trying to set me up with some of their lonely friends.

I tell them.

1 Non smoking
2. Not a drunk
3. Not addicted to xanax or adderall
4. No kids
5. Not in therapy

They tell me she doesn't exist, good luck.
I'm gonna have to lower my standards.
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Or just go with no standards, just wrap it up you're good to go

Thanks Paul. Yes it was. I'm glad you liked it.

That was an awesome article.

As to the OP, it's about a combination of tolerance, balance, and moderation. When I was single, with little responsibility, I fished a lot between May and November. Met my now-wife, I fished a bit less as I wanted the relationship to succeed, and that involved some sacrifice on my part, as well as some sacrifice on her part (I still fished a lot, but sometimes I skipped fishing for romantic dinners, etc).

Then we had 3 little kids over a short span. I'm not sure how any man with little kids spends a huge amount of time (when not working or sleeping) away from his kids for what, while menaingful, is just a recreational pursuit. Kids, especially little kids, need an awful lot of dad's time, and that's infinitely more important than any hobby.

Today, I fish about one fifth as much as I regularly did, probably 10% of what I did in my peak years. I do miss fishing as much as I did, but I wouldn't trade my marriage or my kids' happiness for all the world records known to the IGFA. I also know that I'll fish more at future stages of my life.

Good luck to any struggling with this balance...

Stop actively looking for the "right one" , just do what you like to do and your paths will cross.

The perfect women...hard to describe, she needs to look like kate upton and her dad needs to own a viking sportfishing testing facility and a string of liquor stores

Stop actively looking for the "right one" , just do what you like to do and your paths will cross.

Met mine while surfcasting the Cliff Walk - would have never thought I'd meet the girl of my life while fishing - but it happened.

Met mine while surfcasting the Cliff Walk - would have never thought I'd meet the girl of my life while fishing - but it happened.

Now that's encouraging. I need to fish Newport more.

GG

That was an awesome article.

As to the OP, it's about a combination of tolerance, balance, and moderation. When I was single, with little responsibility, I fished a lot between May and November. Met my now-wife, I fished a bit less as I wanted the relationship to succeed, and that involved some sacrifice on my part, as well as some sacrifice on her part (I still fished a lot, but sometimes I skipped fishing for romantic dinners, etc).

Then we had 3 little kids over a short span. I'm not sure how any man with little kids spends a huge amount of time (when not working or sleeping) away from his kids for what, while menaingful, is just a recreational pursuit. Kids, especially little kids, need an awful lot of dad's time, and that's infinitely more important than any hobby.

Today, I fish about one fifth as much as I regularly did, probably 10% of what I did in my peak years. I do miss fishing as much as I did, but I wouldn't trade my marriage or my kids' happiness for all the world records known to the IGFA. I also know that I'll fish more at future stages of my life.

Good luck to any struggling with this balance...

I'm right there with you, Jim. I have 3 - 8 y/o, 5 y/o and 2 y/o. They are the BEST. While I would love to fish more, it's not worth missing my kids grow up and getting divorced.

Grandpa Greg - you have to make the decision as to whether fishing or family is more important to you. Nobody else can do that for you. If fishing is more important than anything else, well, you'll have to find a lady that loves fishing or it will be ground hog day for you. Good luck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwRrKaq0IyY

wife: I had to cancel plans with the girls and we're going out tonight.
Me: cool I'm going fishing. I'll be back tomorrow at some point.

I dated a girl once that did the whole its me or the fish thing.. I packed my fishing gear instantly and came back a week later when I needed clean clothes.

After 26 year of marriage, I can tell you that a woman needs to know who she is involved with. You can love her and love to fish. Tell her that a lot. Show her that a lot. I became a better fisherman because my wife expects fresh fish when I return from a trip. So, to keep the peace, I simply bring home fish like it's a mission. The one benefit to me has been to observe nature better, almost read it, to find fish.

As to losing you gal, as was already said, knowing when NOT to fish is key.