Hey guys, what is the first symptom of the flesh-eating bacteria? I got a big cut from the line and used a little torn out glacier glove for baitfishing for blues with mackerels. I am starting to feel some kind of a little imflamation and pain on my spleen, stomach, or internal organs. I'm starting to worry. Any suggestion?

I think you better ask a doctor, we are all just fishermen here.:smash: :smash: :smash: :smash: :smash: :smash: :smash: :smash: :smash:

The spleen is the giveaway... Usually when I have pain in my spleen I need to take a,... welll, not a nap...

Notaro - How would we know? See a doc if you are not a hypocondriac (sp?)

Notaro- quick! visit a doctor!

:D

You have what I call fishing-itis.. not enough fishing!!!

Better to be safe than sorry man!

See the Doc!

Hey, anybody heard from Notaro since this???

Sweetieface, I'll page him on his pager and see what he says.. if he needs a nurse, will you oblige???


:rolleyes: ;) :laughs:

Sure, if you call a band-aid and Robitussin a cure, I'd be happy to help.

Mama didn't raise no fools, but she also didn't raise no Dr.'s!!

Oh, and lollipops are included in all of my medical services.....I'd be happy to steer him in the right direction of the penny-candy store down the street!
:smash:

Hehe... you're a riot... :D

Hey, thanks! *shining my nails on my sleeve*
I do what I can.

Are you as bored as I am at work?

:D

Nah. I've got stuff to do......
But I've got MSN Messenger set up, and everytime I get an email from SB, the little box pops up on my screen. Curiosity kills me, so I HAVE to open it and find out what it is....:beat:

yes, I am a model employee, I know.
Please, please, no applause.
I'd like to thank the Academy, my parents, .......
Thank you thank you, I'll be here all week, Try the veal!

(all this without the use of any caffeine, alcohol OR illegal substances. just plain insane)

How do I know when I have pain in my spleen?

yah, internal organs hanging out are pretty good indications of something more serious...

wow that can be reely nasty, isn't spleen pain a symptom of miocardiliobacteriotitis?

Bless You.

Coming down with a cold there, Salty?

I think it's my pancreas?

Sounds more like your liver to me.

Got a reply from Notaro on his pager.. he said he shd be fine but he's seeing a doctor later today. Hopefully he'll be fine.

Now, I hope I'm fine. My work is having a big BBQ and i just ate enough food to feed an iraqi army. I just hope there's no food poisoning.

:laughs: :laughs:

Glad he's ok.
LOL, Jugstah. Maybe a siesta is in order!

How do I know if I have pain in my pancreas? I better dig up my notes from 9th grade biology so I can determine the origin of my pain.

basically if you've fished anywhere in saltwater this year you gonna have to go see a doc, gonna require major surgery I think?

Sweetieface- more like a trip to the beach for some fishing is in order!

Quite possibly a labotomy, trachiotomy, colostomy...

$9000, for a Pancreas?

What movie (too easy).

Notaro - we hardly knew ya. If you are still alive, can you tell us how a bad spleen feels? Or Pancreas?

Thanks...

I didn't say that I'm going to the doctor today. I might go tomorrow AM, but for the pete's sakes, no more weight scale. It belittles me...:(


JohnR- I don't know. But every time I try to breath or walk, it hurts. I know you guys hardly knew me, but I only asked since all of you have some more experiences than I do.

Sweetieface, maybe a little love??? :-)

Whats going on in this room???

I know you guys hardly knew me,

Is Notaro already planning his own demise???

and:

Sweetieface, maybe a little love??? :-)

is Jugstah suffering from a fever with dellusional hallucinations???

Might be time to disinfect the room a bit *sweetieface opening windows*
I dont wanna get whatever the rest of'em got!

I don't want to plan my demise. Hell no, I want to live.

I have no ideas about Jugstah, but he has a GF, right man?

Notaro - if its flesh eating bacteria, waiting until tomorrow will probably cost one or two limbs - give or take an organ. If you go now, you might even be able to save the little guy. HOWEVER, in the slight chance that this is NOT the flesh eating bacteria, and yer SURE yer just not backed up - you still might want to go to the doctor today.

Whereas I'm not a doctor, I don't play one on TV either but if you feel sick, you might want to see someone that specializes in MEDICINE and not SMILIES :laughs: :happy: :smash: :wall: :as: :wave: :musc: :shocked: :tm: :uhoh: :rotf3:

I'm going to go out on a limb here and wager 5 bucks that it's NOT F.I.B. (Flesh Ingesting Bacterium)

:eek: -*faints* *thuds*

Although if you're gonna be a Dr., a smilies specialist would be appropriate (you DO have a whole page of great smilies)

and Dr. Smilies has a nice ring to it...

But not as nice as DR Sprinkles....

"DR Sprinkles, emergency on line one"

or

"Dr Sprinkles, am I going to Live?"

or

"Dr Sprinkles - can you save all of it?"

(Semi-inside Joke :) )

I'll put $5 on that it's not rabies, and another fin on "not ebola".

"Dr. Sprinkles??? He's in the ER with Dr. Smilies!!!"
Paging Drs. Sprinkles and Smilies.
Sounds like a dentist office: You've reached the office of Drs. Sprinkles and Smilies, we aren't available to take your call right now......

LOL!!!
Oh no, Notaro just thud-ded!! LOLOLOL!!!!! THis is crazy at best!!!!!

And MikeP, I'll take those wagers along with:
Its NOT E-coli
Its NOT the Bubonic Plague
and....I'll take "Its NOT Typhus" for 400 please, Alex.

I'll take SARS for $100 Alex. :D

go see http://www.geocities.com/Augusta/1660/hib-mug.gif
or
http://www.geocities.com/Augusta/1660/nick.gif

cuz you might end up

http://www.geocities.com/Augusta/1660/scrembrt.jpg

yeah I have a GF and sweetieface doesnt know im joshin' with her.. nothing like a sense of humor :)

Gloucester: NOT A TUMOR!!!

Yes, Jugstah, I know you're joshing with me. *sniff* *sniff* :crying:
I'll just put my hair back up and take the lipstick off. *sigh*

Krispy, I can't see your pictures...what are they?

Moe:"Ona-cana-mana-pana"

Curly:" Ona-cana-mana-pana"

Notaro if you had the flesh eating bacteria you would certainly know. The area around your wound would start to puss, phester etc. You probably had something bad to eat, have gas, or need some exlax. ;)

or need some exlax

or just some wendy's chili. i had some today at around 10:30 AM and it works.:hihi: (i know, good breakfast) will clean that flesh eating bacteria right outof ya, just wait about 20 min. like flippin a switch.

This post is great :happy: :laughs: :laughs: :laughs: :laughs: :bgi: :bgi: :bgi: :bgi: :bgi:

Anyone here from Notaro yet?

Yo Notty - did the line cut your finger or a fish? Did you stick your hand down the Bluefish's throat? That's F.I.B as in Fist Ingesting Bluefish, also a nasty thing to watch out for. Does it hurt to pee? If not then you're probably OK.

he must be on the toilet or at wendies .

toilet AT wendy's:)

:sick: :yak: :eek5: :err: *BOOM* *diarreaic farts*

I used a glove to hold down a bluefish's throat while attempting to de-hook from it's gill or throat. But the glove was a little torn. I pee just fine. It's probably a gas. Damn, I worry too much...

Originally posted by Sweetieface
Quite possibly a labotomy, trachiotomy, colostomy...

I got this far before I fell out of the chair "ROFL", good one Sweetieface. :p :p :p :D :D :D After reading this tread I need a vacation....

:D

i can take my thumb and sand my plugs smooth:D

i can take my thumb and sand my plugs smooth

OMG!!! I just peed my pants (am I OK????? :eek: ) mine are killin me right now so I guess thats why I am findin that so humerous....:p

BM U beyond help anyways :p

A what color budda u never answer me. :smash: :smash: :smash: :smash: :smash:

Best thread in a long time!:bl: :bl2: :laugha: :laugha: :laugha: :jester: I'm sitting here in the dark LMFAO and wife came out of the bedroom from sleeping, looked at me real funny like, shook her head, called me an effin nut and went back to bed.
Notaro, buddy, better have IT looked at before it falls off and you're not able to:humpty:

Notaro, the problem is with the raggedy glacier gloves --- you need to get some of those Kevalr meat cutter's gloves -- they're bullet proof. :rocketem:

I think the creepy crawlers can still get through though, so they're best paired with latex under gloves. :alien:

Notaro...does it hurt if your touch your toes??:confused:

Notaro!!!...:eek: I GOT IT!!...

...next time, use this before....AND after :love:

http://www.vaseline.com/images/VPJ2.jpg

LMFAO, bloocrab

great thread !!!!!!


hey john R: "$9000 for a pancreas?"

was it johnny dangerously?

Originally posted by Mr.Kav
great thread !!!!!!
I agree! Thanks for the laughs folks! :D

If any of you clowns were feeling sick enough to ask this board for medical advise you had better get to an ER immediately...

Some Flesh Eating Bacterium has Consumed Your Brain!! Case of home made beer - ZERO Dollars
All you can eat home made pork rinds - ZERO Dollars
Medical advice from INTERNET (http://www.striped-bass.com) - ZERO Dollars
Trip to ER in bed of a sand sled because you took/ignored advice from INTERNET (http://www.striped-bass.com) - ZERO Dollars
Getting Flesh Eating Bacterium Cause you took the free advice and didn't go to the ER - Arm&Leg
Look on your face when the Dr says it is just bad gas - priceless



Serious note - Be safe. if you think you are bigtime sick see your doc or the ER doc. They have free care if you don't have insurance. AND any bill is better than death through ignorance.

Originally posted by JohnR
But not as nice as DR Sprinkles....

"DR Sprinkles, emergency on line one"

or

"Dr Sprinkles, am I going to Live?"

or

"Dr Sprinkles - can you save all of it?"

(Semi-inside Joke :) )


"I'll need an I.V. of ringers lactate, a french cruller and a box of munchkins..........STAT!!!"

I just gave birth to a wendys Burger

Originally posted by bassmaster
I just gave birth to a wendys Burger

me too.... it had your eyes!!! :eek:

hahahahahahahahaha *gasp* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *wheeze* hahahahahahahahahahahahhaha---- you guys slay me.

a french cruller and a box of munchkins..........STAT!!!"
I am going to just die!! OH LOL!!!!

??toilet AT wendy's lol. Like Taco Bell, my brother's friend says it goes through him like a laser! lol

I will need to invest in depends if this keeps up!!!

ahahahahahahahhahahahahahhaah *wiping tears* hahahaha

Its good to see the board get a little silly every now and then.

sigh.

So, did Notaro make it through the night? What did the doctor say?? Terminal case of clumsiness? Code Blue from lacerations and abrasions??? Was a WendysChiliOstomy in order here????

hes not going to be able to sit for a while due to butt ring . thats the ring on your cheeks when your been on the dumper to long . he will be fine after he stands for a while .

He's been given a gallon of pepto bismol, perhaps?

Originally posted by bassmaster
I just gave birth to a wendys Burger

Bassmaster cheated, he greased the tracks with Wendy's Chili.

Without it he would have needed a c-section.

You're a sick bunch....:laughs:

And thanks ChrisL for the medical terminology and its explanation. Please tell me you do not have terms for all physical ailments.


(c section, lol) :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:

I need Help

Optical Rectumitis - all of ya :D

:confused: :confused: :eek5: :eek5: :err: :doh: :conf: :scream2: :exp: :sick: :think: :uhoh: :bc: :rocketem: BOOM!

I didn't lose my "thing," guys.

I think the creepy crawlers can still get through though, so they're best paired with latex under gloves.

*THUDS*

Notaro - I don't want to make light of the FEB syndrome. It is truly becoming more of a worry. However, you are the only one I can think of that fishes with gloves unless it's commercially or late November. You might want to back off on the fear of FEB a little.

:happy: :happy: :happy:

Hey Notaro, are you allergic to fish? Is that why you wear gloves? :)

Hey, does anyone else notice that Notaro faints (THUDS) a lot??
This might be indicative of a more serious problem than his "thing" being in jeopardy of falling off.... might want to have that looked into--

PAGING DR SPRINKLES, PAGING DR. SMILIES!

no, i wear the gloves to prevent the germs.


i am awake, sweetieface,:)

Notaro,

you can borrow my fishing outfit, it protects from all kinda cuts. The bear is I can't find a pdf that keeps me floating....

Nils

...."somebody cover me, I'm going IN!!"...

Originally posted by NilsC
Notaro,

you can borrow my fishing outfit, it protects from all kinda cuts. The bear is I can't find a pdf that keeps me floating....

Nils

HEY! Where did you get that??? Do they make one for short, fat fellers??? I sure coulda' used one when I was at the breechway! :smash:

BTW:
You wear that in the yak'??? ;)

NilsC - I like that outfit. I wear one all the time!:D

Originally posted by MtnBrz1
HEY! Where did you get that??? Do they make one for short, fat fellers??? I sure coulda' used one when I was at the breechway! :smash:

BTW:
You wear that in the yak'??? ;)

me short?????? fat???? hehe

:D
:smash: :smash: :smash: :smash:

Originally posted by Striperknight
NilsC - I like that outfit. I wear one all the time!:D

Do you have an extra outfit for Notaro, Sweetieface claims he faints alot. It would protect him when falling during fainting spells

:D :cool: :rolleyes: ;)

Notaro- I guess a suit of armor wouldn't cut it.. let's get you into a biosuit that biological weapons people wear when you go fishing....

Here's one for you...




Expensive but if you want to go fishing and be fully protected!!!!http://www.ppsgb.com/pages/products/bio.htm

Even Level 4 MOP gear isn't gonna protect you against a flaming Bassmaster flatulence. :eek:

Nils, no way!
The noise alone everytime Narcoleptic Notaro passed out would be outrageous!

hahhaha, you guys like to jokes about my condition...:laughs:

i dont need a biosuit. this isnt resident evil: biohazard team.

Notaro,
If you liked R.E., check your local theater, "28 Days Later" comes out this Friday, and its an English film that picks up where Resident left off. My brother (a horror flick expert) LOVED it and its getting super reviews already!

Really? They didn't advertise it on the TV. I need a CC, you know?

www2.foxsearchlight.com/28dayslater/ (http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/28dayslater/)

or for other info:
entertainment.msn.com/movies/movie.aspx?m=534250 (http://entertainment.msn.com/movies/movie.aspx?m=534250)

Hope that worked, first time for hyperlinks here.

Notaro,

To flush your system out, simply get a meal at Taco Bell as mentioned earlier!

Taco Bell ~"Run for the Bathroom!" .... Bong!!!!!

You'll feel much better after you did!:D

Notaro, if these ideas don't work, I suggest an ENIMA. You will feel some pressure in your abdomin, then BABOOM........all clear!

Thats nasty dude.

I hear Pogie oil works the best?

i thought pogie oil was what came out after eating the chili. well, they look the same.

Poor Notaro.
I think our home remedies will have him feeling worse than now.

SO far we have him suffering Spleen, Kidney AND liver pain, enduring flesh-eating bacterias, eating Wendy's burgers and chili, suffering "butt ring," taking enemas, wearing a suit of armor, running for the bathroom (bong!) with abdomen pressure, no "thing," using vaseline while touching your toes (good grief!), selling your kidney for $9000, having numerous surgical procedures done, possibly losing limbs, and passing out regularly -- all while under the care of the site's two finest Doctors: Dr. Sprinkles and Dr. Smilies.

I think the board has done a fine job of diagnosing our friend Notaro.

On the other hand, we HAVE ruled out rabies, SARS, Ebola, Ecoli, Bubonic Plaque, Typhus, and Brown Recluse Spider Bites.

...Wait, did we rule out the spider bites???

FishPooPoo's cure-all for Notaro's doleurs:

1) 4 bannanas, finely chopped
2) 3 packets of cooked instant oatmeal
3) four dry heaping scoops of metamucil
4) 2 cans of stewed prunes, gently squished
5) 1/2 can chick peas, 1/2 can red beans
6) six cups castor oil

Mix with six cups warm water and stir well. Chug mixture immediately (don't dilly dally 'till the metamucil congeals the concoction into a full blown meal).

:)

Or you could just cut the chit-chat and swallow a small cherry bomb....

Ahhhhhhh! I don't do enema and I never had one. Man, y'all think that I am an anal sex king in porno world. Man, that's so plain sick. I better head to the bathroom or start drinking.

anal WHAT?:faga: :faga: :bshake: :bshake: :humpty: :humpty: :humpty: :bc: :shocked: :shocked:

o geeze no need to bring that into the equation notaro. your just setting yourself up.:D :laughs:

:laughs: This thread keeps getting better & better...:confused: or stranger

I just started reading this theard and I am dieing over here!! Best laugh in a long time!!
But I do were the meat cutters glove on one hand to handel all the fish I catch (Commercial) They are great for all them toothy fish amd to hold them skate, and dog fish still while getting the hooks out.

hahaha, my bad, christain.

yeah, i could do that, macojoe.

Hey - Notaro - you might want to edit your posts as you are the only one that has ever eluded to your own chances of a Porn Star - and you've mad that reference before. Now I wouldn't want to discourage you from your dreams but it aint us saying it :) ...

Don't take it personally but you have fermented quite a hilarious thread and you should be proud of it - your perfectly timed *thuds* worked well :laughs: . As for potential ailments - I would not be in total fear of germs, just respect them - fishing with rubbermaids takes out some of the fun. Fish 'em Bare Hand or don't fish 'em at all :laughs: . You WILL occasionally cut yourself fishing, get poked by a fin or something, cleaning out wounds, neosporin, and a good shot history is good for 99.999999% of the time.

excuse me but prunes need to squshed between your toes to work properly . otherwise they just taste awful ! prunes need to be developed like a fine grape is for wine , with just a touch of toe jam .

A cherry bomb ! LOL
BOOM !!!!!

Now was that notaro or the cherry bomb ?

drinking might help but Im not condoning that unless your over 21 and already drinking ! hicup

P-uke!!...I can smell that hicup from here Chris....ya got Bud-breath...go floss!! ...will ya.....and I'm talking about your teeth!!!:bshake:

Chris, I dunno, think I'd like foot fungus as much as I'd like blue cheese in my prunes. :yak: :p

#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&, you heard him, you're not blind.

He said KING, man, KING!

What's that formula for determining your porn star name?? Something like your first pet's name and your mothers maiden name????

Let's not diss porn stars, guys!!!

They get a whole lotta fish!!!

hey sweeetie,,,,what's a porn star?

I've heard of a shooting star, but a porn star?? :confused:

edgumacate me, you sound like you know what your talking about.

Originally posted by jugstah
Let's not diss porn stars, guys!!!

They get a whole lotta fish!!! :laughs: :laughs: :laughs:

How did we get from Flesh eating bacteria to Porn stars... :smash: :smash: :smash:

where is my hanky, I'm laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes again...

Notaro, you have a lot of friends here. Only friends would come up with so much <BS>. :D :D

I think this tread will be a classic, maybe beat the "Longest tread ever..." lol :laughs: :laughs:

Nils :cool: :D

What kinds of music does one play as a sountrack for the genre spoken of by Notaro?...

The "Hokey Pokey" perhaps?... by Ray Anthony?

Any other suggestions?

Well, bloo................see..................when a man and a woman REALLY like eachother...........................

Maybe I oughta PM you the whole birds/bees thing....don't want to offend the innocent ears in the room...
lol

Hey Jugstah,

You can be the first Fisherman Porn Star.

Instead of being Dirk Diggler......maybe Jerk(bait) Jiggler!

(JerkBait is a fishing term, isn't it??) :(

Originally posted by Sweetieface
Well, bloo................see..................when a man and a woman REALLY like eachother...........................


:eek::topic: :eek:


;)

Bliz,

I'm thinking either the tune to Gilligans Island or the Love Boat.

or Fish Heads, or maybe.... eat them up, yum!

You're good Sweetieface!!!

Maybe you're a bit TOO GOOD! :laughs:

LOL!

Sweetieface, perhaps you can be the anchorwoman for the very first "Naked Fishing Channel" on television, kind of like that Naked News tv show I've heard so much about.

And you can start a feature presentation on Notaro and his attempts to fight off germs with biosuits, armored suits, and what-not. And show people like Bloo what the birds and the bees are all about...

:laughs:





Hey Jugstah,

You can be the first Fisherman Porn Star.

Instead of being Dirk Diggler......maybe Jerk(bait) Jiggler!

(JerkBait is a fishing term, isn't it??) :(

Yes, only instead of ME being a naked anchorman (woman, whatever), I'll sit under the desk and use naked Striper Sock Puppets.... yah, yah that's it.

The Day Is Mine, Trebek!
(who can tell me what that is from!?)

Boy, if I had a nickel for everytime someone told me I should be a Naked Fishing Channel Anchorwoman...

Dont know where it's from, but it sounds like whoever it was, they were dreaming about being on Jeopardy!

Better than being in Jeopardy I suppose...

Originally posted by Sweetieface
Yes, only instead of ME being a naked anchorman (woman, whatever), I'll sit under the desk and use naked Striper Sock Puppets.... yah, yah that's it.

The Day Is Mine, Trebek!
(who can tell me what that is from!?)


SNL, Sean Connery playin Jeapordy.:D :D :D

Sweetieface... you been watching too much of Mick Foley on WWE and his Sock Puppet... too bad he's retired from wrestling. :)

HAVE A NICE DAYYY!!!!

Oh, Jugstah, I almost spit out my crystal lite lemonade all over my screen when I saw that!!! LOVE Mick Foley! Did you read his 1st book?

CSK: "The sound a dog makes" "Ruff" "Thats the way your mother likes it, Trebek" LOL!
(I've got all celebrity Jeopardy's on one DVD, lemme know if you want a copy I'll burn you one)

Yes, I indeed had NO life and spent Saturday nights by the tube...

No, I didn't read any of his books. I've not had time to sit down and read any of the last 10 books I've bought and been meaning to read. And I need to start planning to use up the 4 weeks of vacation time I've accumulated and use that to read those books!

I've got 41 books to read. I'm a book-buy-a-holic.
AND, I just got Harry Potter 5 in the mail, sigh, at 870 pages, it will be christmas before I find out who done it.

striped bass fishing.... heh heh heh.... nudge nudge wink wink

Let's lighten up a little on Notaro - he's bound to have a complex after this thread :eek5:

Notaro - think a little before you type - other than this thread ang again the porn star :rollem: refference again, you had come accoss a lot more understandable recently! (This is good criticism too - really is)

Notaro,

I hope we haven't offended you! We're just being nut-cases. Sorry if we did!
I think I speak for us all when I say that your health is most important, and we tease because we think you're ok!

(I don't REALLY think you have Whooping Cough or Ruebella!)
(then again, if you did, we could call you Doc Holliday... no, sorry sorry, there I go again.)

Everything checked out ok, yah?

Amen to sweetieface's words....

Originally posted by Sweetieface
Notaro,

I hope we haven't offended you! We're just being nut-cases. Sorry if we did!
I think I speak for us all when I say that your health is most important, and we tease because we think you're ok!

(I don't REALLY think you have Whooping Cough or Ruebella!)
(then again, if you did, we could call you Doc Holliday... no, sorry sorry, there I go again.)

Everything checked out ok, yah?

i wasn't offended. i am fine. :)
about that dream, john,r, i have no interests in that. i already deleted it. this post was funny, yes, i admit it.

I think this just made The Second Longest Thread In History!:smash:

Thanks for the humor Notaro!...

You've made us all laugh! :laughs:

I appreciate your having been such a good sport and for enjoying the nutty fun of this thread!!! :)

Just outta curiosity, what IS the longest thread?

It starts right here....The Longest Thread. (http://www.striped-bass.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2595&perpage=15&pagenumber=1)


...it won't take you long to get thru the whole thing. Have FUN. :)

:laughs: :laughs: :laughs:

Think we should make it even more longer?

Let's start coining new terms for fishing diseases...

:laughs:

330.
Well.
That seems like something we can't really compete with.....
Maybe we could be the longest ACCIDENTAL thread. Or the longest thread with Medical Issues present....

Notaro's getting much needed therapy from all of this, he's gonna be fishin' his 4$$ off this weekend, I hear.

Yeah, and I'll bet he's also going to start drinking....heavily.

I might even start after this one!

Notaro's not legal to drink yet...

But he'll be drunk.... on saltwater and the salty air...

He could always start a new career modeling parapalegic underwear!...

Just think... blue boxers with the yellow wheel chair guy on the front!

He can tour hospitals and compete with Joe Boxer!...

Wow.. that's some serious marketing niche you've come up with there! Let's call Charlie Moore and see if maybe he can host a show with Notaro and give him a honorable mention.

Sounds like a plan Jugstah!

I you guys hurry up it may surpass the Joke for the day (http://www.striped-bass.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2844) tread. looks like about 1/2 way there. I have to do my contribution today because I'm history for a week... hehe. Everyone is happy...

Nils:cool:

calling doctor howard , dr fine , dr howard .

NilsC hit the nail on the head!...

a Notaro stand up comic thread!... coming to a hospital near you!

We can even market Notaro action figures!....

Kevlar gloves & parapalegic underwear sold separately...

Flesh eating bacteria,... not included!

nice chris L but now DROP THE VERNACULAR !!!

Originally posted by Bliz
NilsC hit the nail on the head!...

a Notaro stand up comic thread!... coming to a hospital near you!

We can even market Notaro action figures!....

Kevlar gloves & parapalegic underwear sold separately...

Flesh eating bacteria,... not included!
:smash: :smash: :smash:

Hmmmm, standup comic tread. Hey Notaro!!! do you have a manager yet. You are mowing up in life so a manager is needed, just make sure your lawyer read the contract first.

Now we need a production line for the Notaro dolls.

Maybee LL Bean could sell could sell the gloves and suits.

As for the flesh eating bacteria, maybe we'll see advertising this Chistmas for "Your own flesh eating GHIA pet"

Nils (manager in disguise):cool:

:laughs:

LMFAO!!!!

:laughs: :laughs:

I wish Notaro's parapalegic underwear were on sale now cause' I'm about to PMP from reading this thread!!! :laughs:

"THATS NOT A VERNACULAR, THATS A DERBY"

no manager yet...;) i might need one.

of course, i am illegal to drink, but i still do drink on occassions.

what kind of underear am i going to wear? the pelgaic brief or boxer? make sure joe boxers make those wadeable and breatheable:D

(Flesh eating Chia Pet?? LOL!! g-g-g-gangrene!)

Kids, tired of the same old action figures??? Any G.I. Joe, #^&#^&#^&#^& or Harry can carry a bazooka!
Its time for something new, something out of this world, something DIFFERENT in the toy world:

NOTARO ACTION FIGURES!!!!

The Notaro Figures each come with 3 piece protective gear including a layer of Kevlar, a BIOhazard suit, and a full suit or armor! (armor! armor!)

Notaro comes in three styles:

Fishing Notaro complete with half rotted fishing net and waders, all three styles of protective gear and sea-sick pills. Flesh Eating Bacteria packet for you to use too!* Catch all the fish in the Center for Disease Control Pond with Fishing Notaro!**

Computer-Geek Notaro which comes with small laptop and easy chair. This series comes with optional reading glasses, two extra floppy disks, and Striped-Bass.com downloads for you!

Quarantine Notaro - this Hospital-bound action figure comes on his own stretcher, wearing a Johnny, hooked up to 10-15 IV lines, and coughs when you squeeze his stomach. Special features, Quarantine Notaro is immune to most strains of flesh-eating bacteria, but is a known carrier. Quarantine Notaro shoots enemies with his detachable IV line, coughs his deadly virus onto them and can karate chop a team of infedels with the simple up and down action of his adjustable bed!!!

* Not for children under 4
**Fishing Pole with bacteria riddled fish on the end not included.

GET YOURS TODAY!! Supplies are limited!

Available at: WalMart, KB Toys, and Toys R Us.
Quarantine Notaro available at Mass General Hospital and Brigham & Women's!

***ON SALE NOW!!!***

Originally posted by Sweetieface
(NOTARO ACTION FIGURES!!!!

The Notaro Figures each come with 3 piece protective gear including a layer of Kevlar, a BIOhazard suit, and a full suit or armor! (armor! armor!)

Notaro comes in three styles:

Fishing Notaro complete with half rotted fishing net and waders, all three styles of protective gear and sea-sick pills. Flesh Eating Bacteria packet for you to use too!* Catch all the fish in the Center for Disease Control Pond with Fishing Notaro!**

Computer-Geek Notaro which comes with small laptop and easy chair. This series comes with optional reading glasses, two extra floppy disks, and Striped-Bass.com downloads for you!

Quarantine Notaro - this Hospital-bound action figure comes on his own stretcher, wearing a Johnny, hooked up to 10-15 IV lines, and coughs when you squeeze his stomach. Special features, Quarantine Notaro is immune to most strains of flesh-eating bacteria, but is a known carrier. Quarantine Notaro shoots enemies with his detachable IV line, coughs his deadly virus onto them and can karate chop a team of infedels with the simple up and down action of his adjustable bed!!!


hahaha, karate chops? when u leave me in the quarrinated area on the beach, i will turn into a moldy corpse with a rod holding on my boney hands like mikecc's avatar.:p

Originally posted by Notaro
what kind of underear am i going to wear?
Well, whatever you do... DON'T make a G-STRING version!!! :yak:

:eek5: wait a minute... yes, do make them. why? they are for women who want to spice up their relationship or marriage by wearing it and a pair of kelvar gloves...:D

Also Available:

Notaro Stripper Doll!!! Yes, kids, that's right, you can have your very own Notaro Stripper Doll!

Comes complete with Sparkling Tassles, Cardboard Stage and Dancing Pole, Parapalegic Breathable Wader-Boxers, Waterproof Briefs, and "Got String?" G-String!

Notaro Deluxe Stripper Doll comes with hotel room key and mini-collection of his very own porno's!!! (additional charge)

Rush out and get the Notaro Stripper Doll today! You don't want to be the only one on the block without one!

Originally posted by Sweetieface
Rush out and get the Notaro Stripper Doll today! You don't want to be the only one on the block without one!

Actually... Yes I do! :eek:

Here is the preview...:musc: :wiggle: :bshake:

liar.

hey notaro.. is that a major wedgie i'm seeing? :D

no, that's me shaking booty. and u can tell i looked like i just came outta bathroom...

yeah but am i seeing toilet paper?

Just don't put these 2 together:

:bshake: :humpty:

:jester:

ya better watch out your peepee might fall off !
got bobbit

:D

mtnbrz, lmfao.. good one!!!


:laughs: :laughs:

Order now, and you'll receive a FREE set of Notaro Kitchen Knives!

These knives slice and dice!, they neuter your dog!... they even send your kids to college!

Heated knives cut through butter, jello, and even hard boiled eggs!...

And every thing else that's very tough to cut through!

And wait.... THERE"S MORE!!!...

Originally posted by Notaro
:eek5: wait a minute... yes, do make them. why? they are for women who want to spice up their relationship or marriage by wearing it and a pair of kelvar gloves...:D

Where is my Notaro, s-b.com logo.... I need it for my fishing bag.

Sweetieface, you are to funny.. roflmao:laughs:

Rob, lol :D

:eek5: :err: :uhoh: not the dog, man...

I got it… :bounce: You know what you need to market???

An inflatable version of the "tree huggers." Blow em' up and paddle around in em'. :kewl:

Perfect for those LONG TnW trips, when the bite is on and you just don't want to head to the dumper on shore! :boots:

You could probably even mount a trolling motor on the XXL model! :laughs:

ALL ABOARD! ;)

Originally posted by MtnBrz1
Actually... Yes I do! :eek:

Admit it, it would look cute on the mantle right next to the urn full of ashes.. rofl

Originally posted by NilsC
Admit it, it would look cute on the mantle right next to the urn full of ashes.. rofl
Yes... But it would look better in the urn!

No offense Notaro! ;)

Whaddya think the ashes were!

:err: nasty...

So...um I gotta ask this....

HOW'S YA PANCREAS?

:laughs: :laughs: :laughs: :laughs: :laughs: :laughs: :laughs: :laughs:

Okay, I was away for most of this thread, and I just went thru all 12 pages.....

ALL OF YOU ARE CERTIFIABLE INSANE.......

:D

While laughter is the best medicine it doesn't work on flesh eating bacteria while your laughing it eats your trachea and kills you then moves to the next victim much like richard simons.

richard simmons was suffering from a overexercising crapola and got himself drained in mind... Besides, he doesn't fish. He eats bananas and lipos.

but hows ya PANCREAS?

:laughs: :laughs:

the richard simions horror show vision: of richard simons out on a flat party boat doing his cutesy song and dance in his latest striped bass fashion show outfit helping a bunch of fat ladies catch stripers to music like aerobics. oHHH MY GOD nooooo:D

Striper'ing to the oldies. Isn't that one of the signs of the Apocalypse?

Like Steve I just read through the 13 pages - and they all kept me in stiches (from Dr Sprinkles).

Yes, I have to agree: SICK bunch we are. But hey, makes the day go by.
Does anyone else have any ailments we can properly diagnose today?:smash:

my pancreas is fine if im catching a monster bass... apparently i havent...

Well in that case, *I"M* not feeling so good....

If the only cure is catching big bass. I need a doctor to help me with a prescription.

I have gone from catching small to catching nothing!!

I think I am getting worse, hope I don't faint *thud*

LOL Iwanna.
I hear ya. I've only been out a handful of times this year, and have gotten NUTHIN!
I gotta hit my old spot in the early a.m. again....

when you have caster's shoulder.....one to many cast's... *Ouch!

This tread have a life of it's own. :smash: :smash:

I know I'm sick when I come home from 1 week of vacation and the first post I look for is this one.

Notaro, now I think we have a product to sell. After contacting the Home Shopping network asking for when they expected the release date of the "Flesh eating bacteria GHIA pet" to be. They asked for my email address/phone # so they could get back to me as soon as a date was set for that product to be launched, I was then told that closer to x-mas would be more likely....

I had to hang up the phone, was laughing so hard that I almost did weewee (ooops, sorry wee wee... lol) in my pants.

this item may become a blue-light special after all... or Walmart rollback item

:confused:

Remind me to write a autobigraphy of myself as a victim of the folly FEB one day...;)

I think I'm coming down with fishing-itis... it only seems to happen when I haven't gone fishing, or when I haven't caught a damn thing in a week!!!

Sure signs of fishing-itis... your dreams are all about fishing, fishing, and landing that BIG bass!!! You finally go to work after a long weekend, and all you can think about is going fishing after work.

After the rest of this thread, I'm glad I only have a minor ailment.

Let's sick Richard Simmons on Notaro, and maybe while we're at it, we'll call in Oprah Winfrey, master of the yo-yo diet.

:laughs: :laughs: :laughs:

Nils,
Wallmart Rollback Item!! LOLOL!!!

(that stupid :) with the cowboy hat!!!! LOL)

im getting in line!! oH - OH! its a notaro's action-figure close out sale! Watch him dodge the flesh eating bacteria and smash them with a pancreas . :smash:

Maybe that is why his pancreas hurt? Or atleast that is how he knew it was his pancreas that was hurting? or was it his spleen?

I think it was spleen first. But taking your pancreas out to battle viruses must make it hurt a little I'd think...

Wow!

The Homeland Office and the EPA are trying to get an court injunction for preventing the release of those action figurines. Apparently, they believe that those Notaro Dolls are actually in fact a biological weapon built by Iraq and Hussein but built in China and shipped to the United States.

Reports are stating that they believe those Notaro dolls will decimate half the United States if it goes to market!

:D

I think it was spleen first. But taking your pancreas out to battle viruses must make it hurt a little I'd think...

Woah, computer meltdown. I have no idea what happened, I typed a new response, and my computer suddenly shut the screen down and the same response is up there again!!

Hate technology.

Anyway, what I HAD written was:

Who'd have thunk an action figure complete with detachable spleen and strain of deadly flesh-eating bacteria could be considered DANGEROUS?!!

What will they ban next, Pillows?!!?!

Originally posted by Sweetieface
Who'd have thunk an action figure complete with detachable spleen and strain of deadly flesh-eating bacteria could be considered DANGEROUS?!!

What will they ban next, Pillows?!!?!

No, pillows are OK.

You have to get a gun wault for your notaro dolls. (can we fit them with trigger locks?)
They have an export ban, can't ship to 3'rd word countries.

Warning labels will be put on the bottom of the dolls feet "Other side up", this is due to problem with dolls that are placed upside down...

nils

"And the saga goes on, did we pass 200 posts yet?

Originally posted by NilsC
They have an export ban, can't ship to 3'rd word countries.


WHAT??? They were supposed to ONLY be shipped to 3rd world countries! We don't want that stuff here!!! :err:


WOO HOO!!! 201! :D

a toy of me sitting on a toilet and there is a cord on the bottom and pull it down and see what it will do to you. a big brownie shotgun blasting outta.:laughs:

And as enticing as that sounds......
I'll stick with the Skin Disease Notaro vs. Bathroom Battle Notaro...

I just cancelled my order - yuck

IWAK, it also come with a baby wipe too.;)

Originally posted by Notaro
IWAK, it also come with a baby wipe too.;)

who's baby? :confused: :smash:

the product that's shooting out a clog of brownies, man.

notaro- your pregnant?:) :p

Speaking of flushing, see what happens when I jiggle the handle and throw certainly what is one of the top 10 funny threads into the Scuppers for it to stew and ferment

I think I just saw a Notaro limited-edition doll on Ebay.

It comes with Notaro being outfitted in a bio-suit and a fishing pole, and it pretends to reel in a big fish for a few minutes with Notaro grunting and panting, and then chimes "Goddamn, I lost that fish, I been skunked!" and then throws its rod down.

That's a classic!

:laughs: :D

LOLOL! Jugstah, you slay me.

Notaro, you might be onto something.

Hey guys, here's an interesting and disgusting question to pose to the room:

If a shop had like, machines, say, an ice cream machine for soft serve (pull the handle, ice cream comes out) and a slushy machine (pull the handle, presto - slushies), would you go to a machine that was oh, I don't know, a NOTARO Bum doll, pull the leg and real brownies come out?

Sick yes, but think about it. Real brownies, but when you picture it coming from the doll......

The Notaro Make Your Own Brownie Doll. Much like the easy bake oven, only the oven outer casing is shaped like Notaro's buttocks......

(did I start drinking at work???)

The Notaro Brownie Bum Doll.

LOL

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww .............. lol -> yep disgusting!

christain- no, i am not pregnant like swezegener from the twins in p-town version.

sf- what kind of brownies do you want me to excrete? fudge, chocolate chips?

Both Playstation and GameBoy are announcing that they will release "Fishing with Notaro and other dangerous pastimes". The levels will be increasingly more difficult as you play...

The final task is the great striper hunt, where you have to wade in FEB infested water dodging brownies livelining with dead pollock...:confused:

Nils:cool:

LMFAOOO!

Notaro Brownie Doll?

LMFAO!

And Notaro in FEB-infested brownie-floating waters? Kinda like Frogger, eh? or maybe Asteriods? :)

Man, this thread keeps getting better.... :)

:laughs:

Notaro, if you give out FUDGE brownies from your bum....
well, that would lead to an entirely DIFFERENT kind of doll....speaking of P town....

I want in on this gameboy action. Notaro can have a fishing rod that shoots its own net like spiderman......

Notaro the Fudgepacker has a nice ring to it.

Now, now, now, let's blame Sweetieface. She started all thsi fudge-brownie talk and brought up p-town!!!!

:laughs: :laughs: :laughs: :laughs: :laughs:

Now Jugstah, I am surprised at you!

I never would call Notaro that. Actually what *I* meant was: In Ptown, there are a lot of places that sell fudge. When I think of fudge, I think, shops at Ptown....

However, "Notaro the Pistol-Packin' Fudge-Packin' Infectous Bacteria-Slayer Brownie-Makin' Action Figure" does have a nice ring to it....

will arnold do the commercials?:D in arnold voice ,"this is the new notaro crappin brownies action figure."

Yes, and he'll say: "I'll be Packed"


LOL!!!!!!

how bout music? what song? will we make one or use another bands? we gotta get this thing off the ground.

you guys and gal gotta get out more!!!!! this is a winter thread !!:smash:

I'm stuck at work 8:30-5:30 - not much getting out here.

Songs eh??? How about "Its Raining Men" or maybe "Macho Man" from the Village People?

fishing in 30 mins.:D top wawa:happy:

ok more like an hour, how bout "sometimes when we touch."

Originally posted by mrmacey
you guys and gal gotta get out more!!!!! this is a winter thread !!:smash:
mrmacey.... this is what happens when you are stuck at work with to much AC... it feels like winter... it's boring to work.

BTW, Exxon are going to add the notaro dolls to the broken tanker they are creating for x-mas called the notaro / valdez combo pack. They will be sold a$ specials in Alaska.

Nils:cool:

my ass isn't designed for a trillion ton of disel and it wont fill up the fuel plants in this country.;)

:D lol notaro

:laughs:

Nils, will those come in regular unleaded, super AND diesel?

If there's any oil comign out of Notaro, you bet your lucky stars it'll be the thick gooey oil that's almost like a slush puppy.

And Notaro's theme song shd be "That's why they call it the blues"

:laughs: :laughs: :laughs:

Originally posted by Sweetieface
Nils, will those come in regular unleaded, super AND diesel?

I think it will be crude oil... and as a bonus for the first 1000 shoppers.... free "Non Working Spill Kit" and a corporate spill calculator. (Used to calculate the numbers reported to authorities if spill happens, 100,000.00 gal wil be reported as 10 to 12 thousand gallon. BTW this is a popular item with barge haulers in New England)

Notaro, make sure you hold on to the drilling rights.

Nils

I feel faint

get this going again :smash:

maybe all of the fainting is due to being dehydrated....or from driking girl drinks ??

Could possibly be the methane emissions....

:D

maybe all of the fainting is due to being dehydrated....or from driking girl drinks ??

LOL! actually it could be both!...alcohol actually dehydrates you (hence the hangover believe it or not) one of the finer things I learned in bartending school!

Jenn - are you a "Cheers" fan....do you know how to make a screaming viking?

take away his raping and pillaging priveledges??? heeheehee...


no, you got me on that one....:rolleyes: I try to forget those days anyway.....:eek:

Yer all a bunch of sick basturds and basturdets :shocked:

Originally posted by JohnR
Yer all a bunch of sick basturds and basturdets :shocked:

Look at it positively... at least we're not all "prim and proper" and "quaint" to say the least!!!!

:D

The 'screaming viking' was a bogus drink in a bartender competition so woody could keep his job.

Everyone at cheers ordered a screaming viking - woody's reply "Do you want you cucumber bruised?"

Keep in mind Woody asked about bruising the cucumbers you sick bunch of bastages and bastagettes.

Yes, I do drink girl drinks, IWAK. ;) I drink Mike Hard Lemonade and Smirnkoff Ice.

Originally posted by Notaro
Yes, I do drink girl drinks, IWAK. ;) I drink Mike Hard Lemonade and Smirnkoff Ice. Wipe that Smirknoff oyur face! :laughs: (at least that was how I read it :smash: )

I am guessing it was the girlie drinks that made you faint:sleeps: and :yak6:

All better now Notaro?

I also went to Bartending school, and before you ask I'll just say now: NO, it was not like Coyote Ugly. (never saw the movie, but if one more person asked me that...)

Notaro, what's your favorite Girly Drink? I myself am a fan of the smirkoff series JohnR speaks of. I do make a mean grasshopper though....

Do you know what's in a sweaty lumberjack?

mike hard lemonade and original smnirkoff ice. i dont drink beers because they can make you gain weight. no, i havent tried the grasshopper. i liked japanese beers and plum wine tho.

I also went to Bartending school, and before you ask I'll just say now: NO, it was not like Coyote Ugly. (never saw the movie, but if one more person asked me that...)


YOU MAKE ME LAUGH GIRL!

Little different than that though isnt it???when your not letting the regulars cry on your shoulder youre trying to stay on top of things because the bouncer seemed to dissapear AGAIN and that person you just shut off thinks there getting another drink!!!!

nope it wasnt all fun and games and dancing on the bar!:laughs:

Notaro... betcha drink soem Sake!