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A tourist gets lost on the backroads of Vermont. He pulls up to a farmhouse to get directions, and on his way up the walk he notices a 500 lb pig in a pen in the back. Not real unusual in the north country, except this porker has a wooden leg. The farmer answers the door and gives directions back to Route 89. As he turns to leave, the tourist says "What's the deal with that pig back there?"
"Oh, Flossie?" the farmer replies, "That's one damn fine pig! You know last fall when I was plowin over the winter wheat, the tractor flipped and pinned me under it while the missus was away. Flossie jumped the pen, got her snout under the tractor and forced it up so I could pull myself out. She went inside and dailed 911 with her snout and the EMTs showed up!" "Then this summer we had an electical fire in the middle of the nigh and smoke woulda got us, but Flossie crashed through the pen, broke down the back door and dragged both of us out to safety!"
"Wow. That is amazing", said the tourist - "but what about the wooden leg?"
"Hell", said the farmer, "A great pig like that - you don't eat em all at one time!"
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