The Longest Thread in History

[TheBetterHalf]

My bologna has a second name.......

[TheBetterHalf]

It's M A Y E R........

[TheBetterHalf]

Oh, I love to eat it every day and if you ask me why I'll say.......

[TheBetterHalf]

'Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B O L O G N A!!!!!

[TheBetterHalf]

Actually, the bologna is a favorite of Liam and his dad!

Give me a good ol' Italian from Maine any day - that's a sandwich, by the way...

[TheBetterHalf]

Finland scored again - it's now 2/1

[TheBetterHalf]

Sorry Tattoo!! How about this one:

I'd like to teach the world to sing......

In perfect harmony......

I'd like to buy the world a Coke and

Keep it company.....

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..How many times can the same user post a reply in succession?.......

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Well??....whats the answer?....

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ok.....if the RED house is on the Right.....


and the bloo house is on the left.......

where's the white house???......

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WASHINGTON DC!!!!

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ANOTHER QUICKIE.......

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband
stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"


He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on
the phone."

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Sheeeeeeeesh!!!!.......I have a lot of time on my hands right now...


...I was asked to design a menu cover, maybe I should get off here....and start gettin busy.....

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...First a George Burns quote for ya......


"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot
pool with a rope."


I laugh at that one everytime .....

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.....I hope this ones' not too......ummm...naughty for the site John..

..feel free to remove it, if anyone protests....


"An elderly couple, Sam and Bessie, are "snowbirds" in Donna,
Texas. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots.
Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home,
walking proudly.

He walks into the house and says to his wife, "Notice anything
different about me?" Bessie looks him over, "Nope."

Frustrated
Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back
into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again
he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT
NOW?"

Bessie looks up and says, "Sam, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down > again tomorrow."

Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS
HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN
BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!"

To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam. ....
Shoulda bought a hat."

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Hey John.....I gotz a question for ya......

....why don't you ever appear to be online....when in fact, you are!!......you playin "Secret Sheriff" or somethin'...??...

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#2....3 Bass Men...(Striper Hunting The RacePoint)...

#3....4 Quahogs in a Grinder??..

#4....24 Hours in a Day....

#5....1 Walleye on a Unicycle....???...

#6.....57 Heinz Varieties.....

#7 ....1,000 Ways that a Pogy is Whammed!!!...

#8.....29 Days in February in a Leap Year.....

#9....64 Stripers on a CuttyHunk trip!!!!!...... (my favorite)

#10....40 Days and Nights of the Goin' Flukin' (routine)...

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.... Where are the rest of the troops???....

c'mon fellas......point click ....point click!!!.....

its easy.....

.....Sheeeeeesh!!!...so much for team effort!!....


....I think you guys need a new water cooler at the shop!!!..

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...Alright fellers!!!!!!!!......

.....so where are the ladies??...

Fisherwoman?....Jenn?....

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....OX, I was just wondering that myself....

...there sure are some loooooooooong posts on here.....
maybe we should cut the jokes in half.....the joke on one post, the punchline on the other....increasing the number of posts...

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Or we could use this thread as a "Chatroom".....


.....John, how does this effect the server??....


doesn't this "BOG" it down?....I'm so Green!!!... >>>>>>

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..I LOVE THE JOKES THOUGH!!!!

....Copy and Pastem' right into my joke folder!!!....

...thanks fellas.....

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YA MON!!......I'm here.....

.....hey, Red.....wasn't that one of the Greatest SuperBowls you ever seen?....

....not that it had anything to do with the fact that it was the Patriots....

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AAAAh.......a quick F5 to refresh the screen.....and I'm off to the races again......


.......Hey, I went with my honey....to Foxwoods this past weekend.... I like to gamble....unfortunately ....(for fun mainly of course... )

....I promised her I'd stay away from the tables....She wanted to try Bingo for the first time...I laughed about it, but.....it actually was fun.....The odds aren't bad.

.. Meaning, you pay your $20 entry fee....and you play for about 4 hours....with the chance of winning a Grand prize of $25,000....and a bunch of $5,000---down to $1,000 pots.....

......all in all.....it was A-OK!!!.....

and then.......yep, there's more...

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...There's also a certain Bingo game.....where the winner gets to go into a telephone booth-type chamber.....thats like a wind tunnel.....with $$$$$$$cash flying around everywhere....

.....heres the catch, after you catch the bills flying around in the booth, you have to force them through a slot in one of the panes, and the slot isn't that wide....so you can't force too many bills through at once......


......GUESS WHO WON THAT GAME???....


...a Seventy year old woman!!!.....nothing against that, but...... ...it always seems to happen that way...


.....psssssst...she didn't catch many Bills.....

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...not too sound too girly about the SuperGame!!!......

..but I actually felt tears rolling down my cheeks, just talking about it !!!...(speakin of emotions)....


.....I was Hoarse up until Tuesday!!!.....kinda felt like I had flu like symtoms...

.....lotta yellin and screamin!!

.....Yaaaaaaaaaaahooooooooooo!!!!!!......

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C'mon Red.....keep up!!! ....

....I'm out-postin' ya......

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...To finish up my Foxwoods trip.......

....we had gone up with another couple....

....neither of us had any luck with the Bingo, but on the way out....my friends wife asked if I minded if she dropped 6 single dollar bills...in a slot machine....

..... of course I didn't mind, seeing a chance to do a little more gambling myself.....


....GOOD THING!!!!.....we both walked out winners!!!....she played a quarter machine....and won back enough money to cover the Bingo fees...and the Buffet.....for her and her hubby

....and I got lucky too....I sat at a Dollar machine, won enough to cover my expenses for the night......plus $30

.....I left a satisfied man, ...well you know what I mean. I WAS THE SATISFIED MAN!!....I didn't mean, "left a man" like I was talking about another man....ummm....YOU GOT IT RIGHT?..

....ok, enough on this post.....

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.....Red, funny you mentioning a stomach virus....


...it ran through a bunch of my family members too.....

.....starting off with my nephew and goddaughter, bringing it home from Elementary school.....


....it stayed with them for about 4 days....then my brother got it.... ...and BOY DID HE STINK!!!


...I pity his wife...

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.....John better call a doctor!!!!!!!!......

...I think page 5 of this thread ......ummmm....


HAS GOT A CASE OF THE CRABS!!!!!