Hey, Bob. So sorry. There ain't any instruction manual for this... People grieve differently, so I have never found fault with how folks manage their grief.
That said, I can only offer what helped me when my father passed. All eyes turned to me as I assumed a new, unwanted role as head of family. Keep your wife close, and communicate what you feel and need from her. Be sure to get some time ALONE. Pray, reflect, meditate, whatever you need to get yourself together. Issues and people are going to be coming at your family in many states of their own grief. Some issues will be unexpected. Some behaviors of mourners can be unhealthy to your family. Recognizing and diplomatically handling the unexpected is your new role in protecting the family. Delegate what you can. Have the younger kids keep everyone hydrated, especially if you are having a wake. Taking care of your mom and the rest of the clan begins with making sure you are good to go.... I'm just a phone call away.
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