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Sorry to hear this Bob. We are also dealing with the downward spiral of dementia. I am health care proxy for my 92 yo mother who has been in a locked dementia unit for two years. Three meetings with staff and medical this past weeks as she is now more agitated and a safety risk to herself and staff. Tough decisions as to medication.... She is in a good place (physically), but she would not have been able to get in there unless she was previously in their independent living.
As for your SIL, please tell her to live every day, today. Screw the end game calendar the docs gave her. I have three friends living more than a year after the time the docs gave them.....
This does all lead to how we view how we should want to live out our days. I told the better half today that should I be diagnosed with dementia, there is no way I would want to let it progress as long as we have let it go with my mother. And I want to have a plan understood as to how, and when I would want to end it, legally, without incriminating her, if I need assistance in doing so...... Tough subjects indeed.
Wishing you well, and looking forward to living life tomorrow to the best of our abilities.
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