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Grumpy Old Pharts Board Gerritol, Ex-Lax, Immodium, Bad Breath - all requirements for the Grumpy Board

 
 
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Old 03-10-2004, 04:58 PM   #18
Uncle Matt
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Landlocked in my own prison
Posts: 1,031
I hear ya guys. My grandfather had a HP and I was his personal driver the last few years of his life. Nothing would get him more upset than a HP misuse. But he would never say anything or get mad. We would circle the lot several times and wait until a spot opened.

As an officer let me fill you in on a few more things. I have never, nor will I ever give a verbal or written warning for a true HP violation. If I catch you it willl cost you $150. That's it. My Chief and my fellow officers know it's my biggest pet peave and I will never change.

*Also, let me also telll you that the "pretty girl flashing her eyes or flirting with me" does not work. I give every one of them a ticket. Why? Because it's embarrassing to me and I could care less. Some say cold and heartless but whatever. The moment they start their little act I smile and pull out my pen. Why? Because they have probably gottten away with it several times but not this time. And if they cry trying to weasel out of a ticket I break down laughing inside. I can't write fast enough and the look on their faces when you return with a money ticket is priceless. My Chief's secretary loves it and says I'm one of a kind. I don't know if that's good or bad!

"Love is like a snowmobile racing across the tundra then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come."
Matt Groening, Life In Hell
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