College Grumpage

[Karl F]

Reading the "some plugs" thread, and what Flap's saying, about working 3 jobs, selling off the lions share of his beloved plug collection,(2 kids almost college age!), plus the fact I'm going thru similar stuff, got a HS senior out shopping schools, is giving me some Grumpage this AM.

Kids got to step up too, but the Govt. limits their share of the loans to a minimum. All the paperwork you do as a parent, believe me no secrets here, forms that could fill a phone book, and they chase every one of your bucks, and even if you look broke, don't be surprised at what they tell you you can afford! I guess they think you don't eat, buy gas, pay for electricity, or have large tax bills, or any expenses.

Offers at the schools are coming in now for the schools my kid have looked at, pretty good ones, but still going to be a lot of $ coming out of my hind end. People have been telling me for years that my kid would get a free ride because of his athletic abilities... WRONG, he's catching a break, and I am gratefull... but FAR from a free ride.

Now hear this Mom's and Dad's..... 2 kids in my son't class... full free rides.... kids couldn't catch a ball or run for crap, (and I am not knocking them, don't think that is important in life at ALL).... but, big $$ deals for them, and I am proud of those kids.... most important thing, to get the $$ from the schools.... HARD WORK, AND EXCELLENT MARKS, and a chitload of community service.
Tell your middle school aged kids RIGHT NOW, hit the books, limit the social life and study HARD, if they want to get ahead.(and save you and them cash!)

I've been to a chitload of colleges in the past 2 years looking, still got a few more tours to go... U can spot the party schools almost right off, and I've ditched out half way thru more than a few tours... if I'm gonna put my house in jeopardy, it ain't gonna be so my kid can go to a party... like I heard that crazy ol' sumbitch Ozzy Osbourne say to his kids... "If your going to college to party, I'd rather get you an apartment directly above a pub, and set you up a bar tab, be cheaper and safer than college parties" never thought I'd agree with his parental skills, but I don't think he is far off on that one.

Other thing is, make sure your kid is really going to use that education.. friend of mine.. daughter went to a high dollar school, did well too.. came home after grad... large loans for parent, and kid. She decides she wants to live on Cape, No oppurtunities for her here, except what she has been doing for last 3 years.. 30 hour a week job paying $13 an hour plus 75% of her health and dental, plus hostessing at a restaraunt 3 nights a week.... could have saved a lot of jing if she figured that out right away... gone straight from HS to that, I think... She is considering moving off-cape, she sent out her resume.. a head hunter told her she'd need to go back for a couple of semesters to catch up with current education needed!!!! So, they are going for more loans.....

Sunday AM Grumpage.... I'll go to the dump now, that always makes me feel better.......

[BigFish]

Keep your eyes open for good stuff KarlF.....cheer up, uh...sorry....you grumpy bastage!










Thought I would slip this one in.

[Flaptail]

Someone who knows the pain. Thanks Karl, I don't feel so alone now.

[Van]

Tell me about it. I got 8 years straight of this chit.
If they want grad school, they gonna have to pay the whole tab.

Can you say FAFSA three times fast???

[Billybob]

I hear ya man. My oldest is heading to UCONN next year.He had great grades, lettered in 3 sports, peer conselor, etc. He had some 1/2 tuition offers from decent schools, but even with that, they would cost the same as UCONN, and I like that school.
4 years behind is his brother, we'll see what happens with him he's got a great aptitude for anything mechanical.I think things have changed, a real sharpie with any trade may have a better future than a kid with a degree these days. When I was a kid, it was "you're smart enough - you should go to college - you'll be all set". It ain't that way anymore.
A lot of the big, new houses in my town are being bought by tradesman these days.
Something to think about.
Bill

[beachwalker]

dad had a rule if you wanted to go to school. have a plan and stick to it or don't expect help from him. he went on the gi bill back in the 50's.

me ? 1 year and dropped out. that was it with the help from dad. decided I wanted to go back 7 years later. paid for it myself painting houses in the summers in Newport. got a history degree and did nothing with it. now I am a carpenter.



kind of know where you are coming from Karl..........

[fishsmith]

make sure your kid is really going to use that education

I wish someone told my wife that, at least my kids(3 & 5yrs) are being raised by a Bentley grad. Yippee. She still yells like trucker.

[fishweewee]

Karl, it's a painful but worthwhile investment, your kid will thank you in 10 years.

[RIROCKHOUND]

Karl...
Make sure they don't over look state schools, education is what you make of it in college, not always where... the exeption being Ivy Schools I guess... but if you look at alot of important/sucessful people, they came out of smaller (cheaper?) schools...

Right now I am a profesionall student.. Did my BS in 4 years, with help from the parents, they were very helpful, but the deal was Gradschool I was on my own...

for grad school I made sure I had a fellowship lined up... MS expected in May, PhD finished sometime down the rd (3-4 years), no $$ out of my wallet except for ~1500/year in fee's tuition and insurance is paid by working at the department, so deals are out there....

Bottom line if they know what they want to do, pick a good school and do it... if they arent sure (as I wasnt) the first year will be a partying waste... better off at a CC until they figure a field out... lets you try a wide range of courses without the big bucks...

If I can ask (more out of curiosity than any expectation of being able to help) what field(s) are they looking to study and where?
good luck... I know how you feel, my younger brother went to Bryant (27K...) he had loans and scholarships, but still was expensive... I was the bargin child... U....R.....I!!!!

Also, if they get scholarships, make sure they keep grades up, I lost 2G's in scholarships cause I drank my weight nightly my feshman year and my GPA was scraping 2.0...

Also, to add on to what B-W said, make sure they like what they do and pick something with Jobs.. Marine Biology sounds fun, but most of them end up going back and getting a teaching certificate... My buddy just finished law school, and his JD... he decided he doesnt want to be a lawyer right now, so he's working at CVS with 100K+ in student loans


Oh, and if you wanna sell some gear... let me know
Hope this long, rambling nonsensical post was some help


Bryan

[Jimbo]

Good thread and in addition to the thread starter I think you're all posting some good, sound advice. Thanks. I totally agree with a kid having an idea about a profession he or she'd like to pursue before entering college, although a good, well rounded bachelor's degree that doesn't focus on a specific discipline also opens many doors these days. Kids should be made to fully realize that college is terribly expensive and isn't something you do just because your friends are. Come up with a better reason than that, or go to C.C. or get a job first and find yourself, then we'll talk about a 4 year degree. And folks with young kids, don't underestimate the value of putting away some money now in one of the many education type funds there are, only research it first so you can't get burned if the kid decides not to go. My experience was my folks and I came up with a list of schools together and checked them out. When I did go, they covered room and board and tuition and anything and everything else imagineable was mine. Parents shouldn't be the only ones who have to get a second job to put a kid thru school, if you did your homework your kid will be at a place he or she can accommodate a parttime job inbetween classes and study (which is also a good experience for preparaing to enter the "real world").

[Canalratt1]

Karl I feel your pain. My daughter is in her first year at Brandeis, she loves the school! Its a very expensive school but she did well in high school and was offered a great scholarship there. I guess they wanted their token catholic girl! A couple things to look into there are many small scholarships that can help you out. Anything from the Elks to left handers look online, my daughter got 3000$ a year from the Steven Phillips Memorial Fund in Salem. Another thing is you can bargain with private schools. My daughter was offered almost full tuition to BU and Northeaston but wanted Brandeis which offered less. She wrote a letter to them explaining their offer and they matched it! Don't give up< push your weight around ask questions and see what the schools will do for you. There is $$$ out there for the students who ask.

[Karl F]

Ben.. he is actually starting to kiss a little butt now, and even tho he is still a typical schmartass 18 year old, I know he appreciates it.

Jimbo.. he is going to work (job) at what ever school he goes to, that I carved in stone.

RIrockhound.. have not overlooked State schools, he is looking for a good SportsMed--->P.T. program... 2 of the packages offered so far have come in below State rate, so it's worth looking at the private ones for sure. ... URI,, that was one of the tours I ditched out on, Jack Daniels bottles lining the paths, beer cans all over the parking lot... loved the Playboy list of the top 20 party schools... "We have decided not to list URI this year, as we feel it is unfair to list "professionals" with amatuers."

Well.. gotta pack... leave at 5 AM to take his butt to Sacred Heart, already been accepted, and done the tour, now the coach wants a look at him......still shopping.....

[Van]

Happy today cause' my daughter landed a summer job.
10.50$/hr full time, for the whole summer.

At least I can leave my wallet in my pocket for a while, maybe only bring it out for fishing/boating stuff.....

If she can manage to save some of that dough, she will be paying for books, lab fees. etc....come this fall semester..

[rhody]

Karl F

Before you ditched the U.R.I. tour did you consider the job

prospects of the college of pharmacy grads ?

[Recovery Room]

As someone mentioned above, you can negotiate with the schools. The comment about "there's no more money" available for tuition assistance is a crock. They aren't giving you money, they are just charging you less. Colleges are a business. They are competing for your money.

We negotiated with my daughter's school. We tried the route of asking them to match another school's offer and they replied that they don't do that. Someone mentioned to me to try a different tact. They aren't saying they won't negotiate, they are only saying that they have been directed not to match other schools offerings. I wrote them a letter stating that their school was my first choice, but needed some help in making it happen. We said that both my wife and I were working two jobs and we crunched all the numbers and $xxx is as much as we could possibly afford. If they would able to get to that amount, then she would love to attend. They wrote back with a new offer within $500 of our offer. Ironically, this brought the net tuition to $2,000 less than if they had matched the other offer.

By the way, the figure we agreed on was BEFORE any loans. It's worth a try.

On the other side of the coin, my wife works with a doctor (surgeon) who is also married to a doctor. Their daughter was just offered a full boat to Harvard. Now she's very bright, but is this really necessary ?

I think tuition assistance and scholarships should be based on need ... and deserving. If they deserve a scholarship, but don't need it, give it to someone that does.

Lastly, I hope you are being honest with your kids about the ability to go to the school of his/her choice. We told our kids that we would send them to the best school we could afford. Without some financial assistance, it may well be a state school. We were fortunate enough to be able to swing it so they both went to the school of their choice. However, they were prepared to go where they could. Don't let them get their hopes set on something that may never happen or that could break you.

Bottom line, from a professional standpoint, 5 years after they graduate, few companies will care where they went to school.

Good Luck.

[chris L]

karl
If I post the costs to go to school here . I bet it might make you feel better .

I hope my girls find nice rich guys to marry ( who are not afraid of guns )

[Karl F]

Just back from Fairfield... long 2 days..

Thanks for everybody's advise, it is one helluva process...

and the kid ain't been promised nothing yet, Recovery Room, got a lot of good old fashioned negotiating to do... and he knows my reputation as a cheap bastage first hand.

And Chris, if I send him where U are, it would only be if he could intern for you! And I mean that.

[Bassman18]

don't worry, it gets worse...

[ChrisH]

"URI,, that was one of the tours I ditched out on, Jack Daniels bottles lining the paths, beer cans all over the parking lot..."

Hey that is my alma mater, B.F.A. 86. I was fortunate enough to get a full athletic scholarship (football) I picked URI because they had a strong art department, actually much better than most of the other schools I visited on recruiting trips. I was lucky enough to know what field I wanted to be in, so I studied with an end goal in mind. I also realized how lucky I was to have this opportunity, and I was not going to let the people down who had faith in me, my parents and coaches.

My point being is that it is up to the student to make the most out of their education. There is plenty of carousing going on at all schools, actually I saw much more drinking and goofing around at Boston College when I would visit my younger brother there.

Good luck Karl and your son in your search.

P.S. They should have picked up the campus

Chris

[RIROCKHOUND]

Chris;
My sentiments exactly; URI class of 01, BS in Geological Oceanography... still there; pursuing a FUD... or Piled High and Deep; however you want to word it...
Gread school but we've go0t a bad rep thats hard to overcome...
Now if only we could lose Carothers... then I'd be happy...
silly english prof running a science based school...

[Karl F]

Sorry if I offended any URI alumni, however... it was more than a little obvious what the activities were there...not for all, I am sure, but it could bea major distraction.. yes, they should have picked up the campus... and instruct the tour guides not to keep emphasizing how close to Providence and the good pahty bars they are... "guys, you can make it to Lupo's in 25 minutes!"
I'd rather hear about post-grad job placement programs, or some such stuff... even if it's just to hold my interest

I am sure they offer good classes and have some good profs... and I agree... it is all up to the individual student as to what they get out of a school.

[RIROCKHOUND]

Karl;
I wasnt offended, I know what the activities are here, but I think Chris's point was (and correct me if I'm wrong) that every school has these activities, whether or not the tour mentions them

Good luck in your search..
Bryan

[ChrisH]

Hi Karl, no I'm not offended at all.
RIROCKHOUND you are correct.

Again, good luck in your search Karl.

Chris

[Flaptail]

Well, last week was the college tour d' world thingie and it seems that Wellesley is the number one choice. 38K a year, God help me if she makes the cut. What a place though, every kid there is just like honors and AP everything. What she liked most about the place "no men", what she disliked most about the place, "no men". Avg. class size is 12 to 18 kids, no teaching aides and a 1.2 billion dollar endowment.

[new jack]

well, I'm another URI garduate. Just graduated in Dec 03, Fisheries and Aquaculture is my degree.

I did it the hard way. Part timer for seven years. I was at URI for the last three years and I commuted 1.5 hours one way. Three hours total in driving a day. BUT I was able to pay for every semester's tuition. I have $9,000 loan to pay back from my freshman year in maine. I didn't like that school and It was way to expensive. It would have put me $40,000 in the hole.

See if he will commute to school!

[Slipknot]

Flaptail, I hope she gets into Wellesley, that is a great school. Good luck to her.

[Karl F]

Very good school. Good luck to her and you! Flap, tell her to keep her grades as high as she can.
Academic packages will benifit her and you, and never take their first offer

[Flaptail]

Thanks guys. She has really worked hard all her academic life. Junior in High School and only one B all the rest are A'S. She is honors and advanced placement in every class. She does a AP Biology study group twice a week on Monday and Wednesday nights. She is an National Honor Society member, a memeber of the National Art Honor Society, listed in the National Register of outstanding Juniors and has been for the Freshmen and Sophomore years as well. She is top Junior student at Falmouth High in Honors French and Latin as well as an Honors English student. There are many failings in my life, chances I failed to grasp but I have always instilled and my wife and I have always fostered thier interest in Education. I told them both along time ago that Dad has his job and he works hard at it. School is thier job and I expect them to work as hard as I do at my job so that later in life they can have the things that I cannot give them. We always took time for their studies even if it meant giving up time to do what we wanted to do to show them that they and thier education are the most important thing in our lives. I am beginning to see the pay-off and it has given me something that I can really be proud of where at least in this one instance I did not fail to do what I should have.

[BigFish]

You must be very proud of her Flaptail, sounds like she was raised right! Best of luck to her in college.

[nightfighter]

Wow... From Steve's own mouth, words of the love and devotion for his family....

I bring this old thread back from the dead as I am now in the process with my twins..... oh joy!