Democrat Humor

[iluvspots]

The Robot Bartender

There was a new bar in town that everyone was talking about because it had a robot-bartender.

A man walked in to see this for himself. He sat at the bar and sure enough, a robot was bartending. The man ordered a drink, and the robot asked him what his IQ was.

The man replied that his IQ was 150. So the robot began discussing nuclear physics, hydrogen power cells, and the current state of the global atmosphere.

The man was amazed. He had to see how good this robot really was. He left the bar and came right back in and sat at the bar. Again, the robot asked him for his IQ.

This time the man replied "100." So the robot discussed football, basketball, and the proper way to grill a steak.

The man left and came back in for a third time. This time he told the robot that his IQ was 50.

The robot replied: "So, are you democrats really going to vote for Kerry?"

[iluvspots]

2004 Democratic National Convention -- Official Program

6:00pm - Opening flag burning ceremony.
6:05pm - Pledge of Allegiance to the United Nations
6:10pm - Secular words by Revs. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton
6:30pm - Anti-war concert by Barbra Streisand.
6:45pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00pm - Tribute theme to France.
7:10pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.
7:30pm - Tribute theme to Germany.
7:45pm - Anti-war rally moderated by Michael Moore.
8:25pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:30pm - Terrorist appeasement workshop.
9:00pm - Homosexual marriage ceremony for male and female
couples.
9:30pm - CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN urge defeat of President Bush.
10:00pm - Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins
10:10pm - Reenactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.
10:20pm - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
10:30pm - Abortion demonstration by N.A.R.A.L.
10:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50pm - Special thanks to the New York Times & Washington Post.
11:00pm - Multiple homosexual marriage ceremony for threesomes
and groups.
11:15PM - Maximizing Welfare workshop.
11:30pm - Saddam Legal Defense Fund pep rally.
11:50PM - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:00pm - Nomination of Democratic candidate.

NEW: 5:00am - Ted Kennedy Will Conduct a Swimming and Water
safety Class

Any chance we could get Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home from the
convention?

[likwid]

Got WMD?

[iluvspots]

Originally posted by likwid
Got WMD?

Even better than WMD.

I have Bassmaster's a$$.

[likwid]

Not exactly something to be proud of....

[Nebe]

Love the ted Kenedy toast bit there

The problem is that this is fictional, while all of the bush slander is factual

Lick bush in '04

[spence]

Originally posted by Eben
The problem is that this is fictional, while all of the bush slander is factual

Dude, I was going to say the exact same thing

-spence

[The Dad Fisherman]

This is How I heard the 1st Joke

Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?"

The man answers, "241."

"That is wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"

Next, Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?"

The lady answers, "144."

"That is great!", says Albert, "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!".

Albert then goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?"
The person answers, "51."

Albert ponders this for a moment, and then smiles and says,
"GO YANKEES"!!

[Nebe]

Originally posted by spence
Dude, I was going to say the exact same thing

-spence

yup

[afterhours]

loved the dem national convention official! i also hope to lick bush in '04!

[iluvspots]

Dear Sir:

I am a senior citizen. During the Clinton Administration I had an extremely good and well paying job. I took numerous vacations and had vacation homes.

Since President Bush took office, I have watched my entire life change for the worse.

I lost my job.

I lost my two sons in that terrible Iraqi War.

I lost my home.

I lost my health insurance.

As a matter of fact, I lost virtually everything and became homeless.

Adding insult to injury, when the authorities found me living like an animal, instead of helping me, they arrested me.

I will do anything to insure President Bush's defeat in the next election.

I will do anything that Senator Kerry wants to insure that a Democrat is back in the White House come next year. Bush has to go.

I just thought you and your listeners would like to know how one senior citizen views the Bush Administration.

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter.



Sincerely,
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Sadaam Hussein

[Nebe]