The Longest Thread in History

[The Iceman 6]

As a graduate of RWU I concur with the assessment: Ahhh, I went there to fish and play hockey anyway...


How many students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

UNIVERSITY OF RHODE ISLAND: Two. One to screw it in, and another to admire
the handiwork while complimenting them on their new Abercrombie and Fitch pale blue tee
shirt...sound familliar? Oh yes, aided by the soothing sounds of Dave Matthews Band..**shudder**

VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY: Two--one to call the electrician and one to call daddy to pay the bill.

PRINCETON UNIVERSITY: Two--one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.

BROWN UNIVERSITY: Eleven--one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience.

DARTMOUTH COLLEGE: None--Hanover doesn't have electricity.

CORNELL UNIVERSITY: Two--The first one will most likely crack under the pressure

THE UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA: Only one, but he gets six credits for it.

COLGATE UNIVERSITY: Three--One to screw in the bulb, and two to hook up while it's dark.

COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY: Seventy-six-- one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's
right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter protest.

UNIVERSITY OF MASSACHUSETTS: Five or more--One to change the bulb, one to talk about how Scooby
Doo is from UMass, one to protest the stereotype that it's a party school, and several more to uphold said stereotype.

HARVARD UNIVERSITY: One--he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

MIT: Five--one to design a nuclear powered one that never needs changing,one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that nuked lightbulb, two to install it, and one to write the computer program that
controls the wall switch.

KINGSBOROUGH COLLEGE: At least 10 - One to hold the lightbulb and the rest to figure out where it goes.

VASSAR COLLEGE: Eleven--one to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation.

VILLANOVA UNIVERSITY: Five--One to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

UCLA: One, dude.

OBERLIN COLLEGE: Three--one to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.

STEVENS INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY: All the guys--They've been looking to screw something decent ever since they've been here.

HOLY CROSS: Ten--one to change it, one back up if the first guy's too drunk and the other eight to pray that it works.

DUKE UNIVERSITY: A whole frat--but only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb out of the socket.

WILLIAMS COLLEGE: The whole student body--when you're snowed in, there's nothing else to do.

TUFTS UNIVERSITY: Two--one to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how they did it as well as an Ivy League student.

BOSTON UNIVERSITY: Four--one to change the bulb and two to check it's math homework.

CONNECTICUT COLLEGE: None--they are all too drunk to notice.

BOSTON COLLEGE: Seven--one to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.

BENTLEY: Two--one to screw it in and the other one to stand there and make sure their laptops aren't being stolen while they do it.

SUNY-Geneseo: Two--one to unsrew the broken one, and the other one to run across 10 fields and through the valley to beg for a new one from Farmer Joe.

BATES COLLEGE: None...the maid does it for them.

PACE UNIVERSITY: One, but you will have to wait at least 3 months before maintence comes with the new light bulb.

UNIVERSITY OF SCRANTON: 10, 1 to screw in the lightbulb and 9 to lookout the window to make sure the cops aren't coming to break up the lightbulb screwing in party.

ROGER WILLIAMS UNIVERSITY: 6, 1 to hold the funnel, 1 to run the ice luge, 1 to pump the keg, 1 to mix drinks, 1 to screw in the bulb, and 1 administrator to ignore everything.

HUNTER COLLEGE: 3, one to scrape the asbestos off the ceiling, one resident to complain about the
dorms in general, and a nonresident to complain about their rent and wish they were in the dorms.
(Although it may be hard for them all to fit in the same room.)

FORDHAM UNIVERSITY- are you kidding me?? Riots knocked out our electricity...

MARIST COLLEGE.......it only takes one because the students at Marist are pros at SCREWING!!!!!

SYRACUSE UNIVERSITY ..........it takes NONE because the students at SU can justcall FIX-IT! (3-3948) on their cell phones and then call daddy to complain about it.