Joke for today?

[sportsman]

The Boss was in a quandary.

He had to fire somebody.

He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision, they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.
Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hang-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.
The Boss approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off."

"Could you just jack off?" she says. "I feel like %$%$%$%$ today."

[vineyardblues]

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wife's birthday.
His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for
me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat".
The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.


Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.

[SolOmoN]

www.ritrialsclub.com/uploads/barmon.wmv

DL it it might play better

sol...

[vineyardblues]

BAPTIZING A DRUNK:

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk,
when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.
He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps
into the preacher.

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell ofalcohol,
where upon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk answers, "Yes, I am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.
He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus? "

The drunk replies,"No, I haven't found Jesus."

The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again
for a little longer. He again pulls him out ofthe water and asks again,
"Have you found Jesus my brother?"

The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk
in the water again --- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds
and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.

The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God have you found Jesus?"


(Are ya ready for this??????????????????)


The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the
preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"