Funny surf stories

[Nebe]

this is the funniest story i have ever heard..taken from another site-

Originally posted by TODD M.:
Back in July this year. Too much to drink the night before, and bad food. I'm driving from Weekapaug headed to Quonny. I get to the light and the gut starts talking to me REAL LOUD. Now I'm debating...go straight and hit the Mobil or take the right and hit the potta-potties ( if any of you listen to Howie Carr you know the reference )I go right. About 10 seconds down the road my A-hole is screaming at me, should of gone straight. There are about 5 vehicles behind me. I'm sweatin it as my butt hole is clenched as tight as possible but the fist in my stomach is doin' its damndest to push out the foul mixture. I look in the back of the van. I don't have a googan bucket ( bad, very bad ) no where to pull over and dump. I look back again and see my eel cooler ( soft six pack cooler ) of course it has a 1/2 dz. eels in it w/ ice. next to the cot. Decision is now be'in made for me. Thank God I didn't have my neo's on. I practically power slide over to the side of the road and bail into the back. Drop trough as I am unzipping the cooler. Of course I forgot to slam it into park so the van starts mvoing the same time as my bowels. I just reached over and bang it into neutral for the time being " Ka Thunk " ( no, not my A hole the tranny ). I grab hold of the cooler and don't even get to a squat and projectile crapping has commenced. Well let's just say the eels became pretty active suddenly and that cooler was filling up too quick. I look out the back of the van windows and who's sitting there? Yep, Charlestowns finest. He walks up to the drivers window and the smell must have been the trigger. I'm looking through the side window at him and he probably an only see my siloutte ( tinted ). He asks " is everything OKAY in there? I'm sh!ttin my pants both ways! I reply I needed a sudden restroom break and that currently the back of my van is Rhode Islands newest Porta Potty. He kinda chuckels and walks over to the side where the sliding door is. I crack the sliding door and he pulls it back about a foot and looks in. Now he can see the cooler.

Now the funny part... The eels are squirming around in the plastic bag under this pile of ... and his eyes are like... OH MY GOD. He turns around gagging. Now I'm laughing and crapping at the same time. He walked back to his patrol car and pulled away. I kid you not. He must have thought I just gave birth to the spawn of Satan. I grabbed a roll of TP I always have in the van and proceed to finish up. That was one of the best Sh!ts I have ever had regarding relief. I laughed quite a bit on my way to Quonny thinking... what would the ticket have been for?

[BassDawg]

Originally Posted by Nebe

this is the funniest story i have ever heard..taken from another site-

Holy Shiite Muslim, literally

Holy Shiite!!!

Ya talk about yer gut busting, tear jerking, laughter!!
That was absoeffinlutely HILARIOUS

[Redsoxticket]

The following is a funny story previously posted by Nebe that will crack you up. Eben is one funny dude.

Originally Posted by Nebe

allright- I fished one of my favorite late season spots this evening. With the full moon, the tide was humping through the small channell that i was bouncing bucktails in and I hooked something large- I set the hook hard and she started to take a bit of drag. I figured she had to be 40 plus pounds by the way she would slowly move.. my rod was doubled over and my braid was making that sweet singing noise as it cut through the the 6 plus knots of current. As I steered her into the rip, she started peeling off line like a freight train. My drag was almost locked down and i could do nothing to stop her, so i was forced to leap from my standing rock and fight her down the bank of the channell until it opened up into calmer water. After working this bohemoth fish for about 60 feet down the bank she started taking line and i was able to start gaining back all of the line she had taken from me (about half my spool) After A while i was certian i had foul hooked this moose because she wasnt doing any head shakes, but i could feel it pulsing as i slowly worked her along the edge of the rip.

About what seemed like 10 minutes went by and I got a glimpse of her and i was greatly surprised- It wasnt a bass, but it had a wingspan of abut 4 feet. The back of the fish was battleship grey and the wingtips were fluttering away and i could make out the pure white belly- Also i could make out the long tail swaying in the tide..

I was crushed, i was hoping for a wall hanger bass, and wasnt sure what i was going to do with this giant ray, but as I got it within 20 feet of me i thought it looked a little flat, like it was 2 dimensional, or it was an extremely thin ray to say the least. When it was within 10 feet of me i finally realized what i had battled for so long with- I had hooked the corner of a grey bath mat.. the kind with the white ruberized bottom. the long tail turned out to be a 4 foot long piece of kelp.

sadly this was the best fish battle of my life.