Joke for today?

[redcrbbr]

Mike and Bob had just finished the first nine holes in their round of golf, and it was obvious that Mike was having an awful day.

"Gee Mike, you're just not your old self today. What's the matter?" asked Bob.

Mike, looking pretty glum, said, "I think Connie's dead."

"My God! That's terrible," said Bob, "but you said you only THINK your wife is dead. Aren't you sure?"

"Well, I just don't know" responded Mike, "the sex is still the same, but the dishes are piling up."

[fishbones]

John McCain and Barack Obama somehow ended up
at the same barbershop.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different
barber, not a word was spoken.

The barbers were even afraid to start a
conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who
had Obama in his chair reached for the after shave.
Obama was quick to stop him, saying: 'No thanks,
my wife Michelle will smell that and think I've
been in a whorehouse.'

The second barber turned to McCain and said:
'How about you?' McCain replied: "Go ahead.
My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse
smells like."

[redcrbbr]

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW
to find the headlights broken and considerable damage.

There's no sign of the offending vehicle but he's relieved to see that there's a note stuck under the windshield wiper.

"Sorry, I just backed into your Beemer.

The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think I'm leaving my name, address and other particulars.

But I'm not."

[Nebe]

[redcrbbr]

An old, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.
He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring
at only $40,000' the jeweler said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said,
'We'll take it.

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, 'by check'. I know you need to make
sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the
ring up Monday afternoon,' he said.

Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man. 'There's no money in that account.'

'I know,' said the old man, 'But let me tell you about my weekend!'


All Seniors Aren't Senile