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The teacher gave her fifth-grade class an assignment:
Have your parents tell you a story with a moral at the end.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
'Johnny, do you have a story to share?
'Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Aunt Carol. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't be lost if the bottle broke.
Then she landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last soldier with her bare hands.
'Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher, 'What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?'
'Stay the hell away from Aunt Carol when she's drinking.'
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