Joke for today?

[Mad Hatter]

So I call home and my brother picks up the phone. We're making small talk when I ask about the cat. "How's Boots?" "Oh", he replies, "Boots is dead".
"WHAT?", I scream. "Yeah, mom took down the screens to vacuum them and Boots got out on the roof and fell and died"...."How can you be so insensitive?!" I yelled. "Well, what do you want me to say?" he replies. "You could soften it up a little and say something like the window was open and Boots got curious about a squirrel and went out on the roof too far for us to coax her back in. She ended up in the oak tree and I grabbed the ladder but she was a little too high, so we called the fire department and a hook and ladder truck arrived but as they were extending the ladder Boots slipped and fell to the ground. Despite heroic measures they couldn't revive her." "I guess you're right", said my brother, "Next time I'll try to be a little more sensitive". I changed the subject - "So how's Mom?" My brother says "Well, she climbed out on the roof...."

[gone fishin]

This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office why you're
there, and you have to answer what's wrong in front of others, and sometimes
it's embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's receptionist who
insists you tell her what's wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy
handled it:
An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and
approached the desk.
The receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for
today?'
'There's something wrong with my #^&#^&#^&#^&, 'he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come
into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.'
'Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you. 'the old man
said.
The Receptionist replied: 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in
this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with
your ear or something, and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in
private.'
The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full
of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.'
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked,' Yes?'
'There's something wrong with my ear. 'he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had
taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'
'I can't piss out of it. 'he replied..
The waiting room erupted into laughter.