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Twas half past four
when he awoke from his sleep
Still drenched in sweat
from dreams of the deep
His bladder too full,
pisser stiff as a post
To the bathroom he stumbled
his knees hurting the most
Trying to pee
he just had no luck
This getting old thing
is starting to suck
So forcing it down
he started to strain
Desperate now
to relieve the pain
Relief at last
soon came his way
But his aim was bad
and he started to sway
No noise did he hear
Just spray on his feet
And he knew he was screwed
he had just drenched the seat
He heard his wife stir
and it filled him with fear
His heart skipped a beat
as her footsteps drew near
Goddamn it he thought
can nothing go right?
What fisherman can't piss
in the dark with no light?
But fast it got worse
so bad he could shout
Just his dumb luck
the toilet paper was out.
So what else could he do
in a situation so foul?
He did what he could
and cleaned it up with her towel.
Not a class move
he had to admit
But a wife with a wet butt
will cause some bad sh!t
So feeling secure
he soon was asleep
And his wife too was content,
she'd switched towels with the creep.
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