Good Laugh

It's a little quiet at work so I thought I'd share a story about what happened to me while fishing this past August. First a little background. My sumer home is in Ogunquit Maine, which is both a family tourist area as well as a place frequented by people with alternative lifestyles. In my five years as a summer resident, I have seen everyone peacefully co-exist. The business owners, most of whom are gay, are smart enough to realize that their success depends on both straight and homosexual business, so an effort is made to keep any "flamboyance" to a minimum.

On this particular day, I was fishing opposite a set of stairs which go over dunes that separate the beach fom the river. I use these stairs to go to a secluded area in which I can relieve myself when wearing waders. My usual routine is to wait for two retirees to come by after their daily beach walk and keep an eye on my fishing gear while I take my leave over the dunes. What I was unaware of is that the steps over the dunes is a publicized pickup spot for available gay men. Fortunately, my business was completed and I was heading back down the stairs (adjusting my wader straps as I walked) when much to my surprise I was face to face with a "gentleman" in a bright red thong and a beer belly. I would estimate that this guy had to be at least 60 years old and 50 pounds overweight. His comment to me was tha he thought that I might have been in need of assistance. I lost it. I started yelling at this guy something to the extent that even if I was gay, I woudn't have been interested in him. If anything, I felt my privacy was invaded (no wise comments, please).

As I walked back to my gear, the two retirees were buckled over in laughter. It turns out that this guy was walking the beach in a pair of shorts, but when he saw me heading for the dunes, he dropped his shorts, stuffed them into his backpack and made a beeline in my direction.

Needless to say, I now carefully check the area before I use the dunes, and if anything looks amiss, I take my gear and walk the extra 1/4 mile to the public restrooms.