Email Scam Enjoy as I string this Arse along

[Duke41]

This should be fun.

Hello,

I write to you based on a request for an investment option in your country by a client of mine. My name is Mr.Phillip Johnson.

I'm a consultant and I engage in business feasibilities. My reason for contacting you is that my client has an urgent need to invest a considerable amount of funds into lucrative opportunities in your country. My client's request is for a competent individual such as you, who will be willing to put this money to good use for a period of 6years for a start.

He is offering you these terms:

1). 15% will be paid to you as an administrator of the total fund to be managed.

2). The fund will be used by you as a foreign Administrator as a loan without any interest.

That is, you do not pay any interest on the money, but you will give him 85% of all profits after tax that will accrue from the use of the fund. If these terms are agreeable to you, kindly get back to me and I will provide you with other necessary information.

Mr.Phillip Johnson


My reply......

Yes sir,



please contact me my Name is

Heywood U. Blowme.

10 South Main Street

Suite 218

Attleboro, MA 02703

I am a real estate investor.



His Reply

Dear Heywood U. Blowme,

Thanks for your urgent reply with reference to my investment offer to you and my client is interested to invest his funds into the Real Estate market although he may also be interested in other lucrative business opportunities but provided that such business ventures will yield a high profit returns.

Hence you have indicated your interest; I will therefore request that you provide me with a detailed investment plan/suggestion on how you can invest the funds. Your project should be simple and should contain vital statistics that will express present and future prospects of your investment plan; we should be able to know the profitability of the business/return on investments and the general security of the investment climate in your country. My client will want to invest the sum of US$25.6 Million.

Once I see this from you and have conducted good researches, I should be able to advise my client on investments in your country. I will appreciate that you understand that I am not the owner of the funds but I will do all within my capacity to encourage my client if your plans are lucrative because my client is willing to give you 100% liberty to manage the funds within a specified period of 6years.

Please reach me as soon as possible with your direct telephone and fax numbers for further correspondence. I look forward to your prompt reply message.
Compliment of the season and God blessings.

Sincerely
Mr. Phillip Johnson

My Reply

Sir,



Now I am of great nervousness as my phone has been shut-off due to a mix up involving a douchebag spilling its contents onto my console. For the time being at least 7 fortnights I will be able to communicate only via email. Please excuse my scrotum as it is showing. I am excited as sprockets about this and please allow me to dance your reply. Is?

[Slipknot]

My Reply

Sir,



Now I am of great nervousness as my phone has been shut-off due to a mix up involving a douchebag spilling its contents onto my console. For the time being at least 7 fortnights I will be able to communicate only via email. Please excuse my scrotum as it is showing. I am excited as sprockets about this and please allow me to dance your reply. Is?[/QUOTE]



LMFAO

that is the funniest thing I have read in a long time

good one

[JohnnyD]

This is fantastic.

Can't wait for the next installment.

[The Dad Fisherman]

Gee, you think that name would be a dead give-away.......

[Katie]

That is epic

[PRBuzz]

Duke (or should I call you "Heywood U. Blowme"), since you like stringing them along, here is another poor sole you can help, she's got $20 million for you...

Kindest Attention:

My name is Mrs Grace smith, I am from Portugal.I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer.It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live,according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for.But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived.

I got your contact from my personal search into the internet and was inspired to seek your co-operation, I want you to help me clear this Consignment ( Money ) that is already in an Asset Management Company Abroad, which was shipped through a courier agent. The content of the package is $20,000,000.00 all in $100 bills but the courier company does not know that it is money that I have in the consignment. All I want you to do for me now is to act as my Nominated Beneficiary ( NEXT OF KIN ) that will make the claim of the consignment on my behalf.

Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my property and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as few close friends. I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have Distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E,Somalia and Malaysia.
Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria and Pakistan, they refused and kept the money to themselves.Hence, I do not trust them any more,as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them. The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of Twenty Million United States Dollars ($20,000,000,00) all in $100 bills that I have with an Asset Management Company Abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatch it to charity organizations.

l will give you more details when i get your reply to this mail.

NB : Please send your reply to < smith.grace9@gmail.com > for security reasons.

Thanks
Mrs: Grace smith


THIS IS A SCAM SO PLEASE DON'T RESPOND or YOU ARE AT LEAST FORE WARNED

[GattaFish]

This is some great winter entertainment,,,,,,,

[Duke41]

All right we are back in business!!

----- Original Message -----
From: "Dr.David Ogoji" <gfhvgfgf@bellnet.ca>
Sent: Thursday, February 11, 2010 8:30:03 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern
Subject: Re: YOUR PAYMENT IS READY!!!!


Attn:
We have this day of 10thfeb, received a payment credit in struction from the federal Government of Nigeria to pay you the Sum of $10.7m as your contract funds. Be informed that every arrangement regarding your cash payment through diplomatic services has been made, note that your funds have been packaged like a consignment.
Note that the Diplomatic Agency has to move down to your Countryin order to deliver the Consignment to your doorstep. This consignment have been registered with FBI and there is no course for alarm because this is the best way that you can get your fund without any problem due to the numerous scam activities on the internet, it is not safe to sen one bank information anymore, so that is why we choose this method to effect your contract payment through a consignment and you are advice to provide all information so that there will not be any further delay in your payment. We are sorry for the delays in your contract payment please bear with us.
However, you are to reconfirm to us the following information so that the consignment does not go to the wrong person.
Your Full Name: Haywood U. Blowme
Your Home Address: 10 South Main St
Your Direct Telephone Number/Fax: 900-555-1212
Your Current Ocupation:vagrant fisherman
Your Age: 48
Your Status Awesome!!!!
Note that this payment will commence immediately I receive your information.
Yours in service,
Dr.David Ogoji
Executive Director
Central Bank of Nigeria

[Slipknot]

so how long till Haywood gets a package?

[FishermanTim]

Or gets "stiffed"?

[basswipe]

I don't now how I missed this!

Gotta love,Occupation:vagrant fisherman and Status:Awesome!!!

Too funny!