My kind of Doc

[PRBuzz]

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO!! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming well for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO, What a Ride!!”


AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

[Raven]

all true

[ProfessorM]

Speaking of hearts. One of my best friends at work for many years, 48 years old, suffered a massive heart attack Sunday nite at 8:30 on Route 28 . He passed out at wheel in middle of road with his 94 year old mother in passenger seat. Luckily no accident occurred but he came to rest in middle of road somehow. A passer by called 911 and the 2 state cops tried for minutes to revive him but no pulse. A Bourne cop pulled up and used the portable defibrillator 3 times to finally get a heart beat. His arteries were so clogged they had a hard time even clearing them out with stints. He went home today from CC Hospital. Friggin lucky SOB. This guy was the poster boy for heart attack, drank unlimited amounts of coffee and smoked like a train along with a lot of cocktails too. T Hey had to sedate him because of the withdrawals from nicotine and caffeine. No one works harder than this guy , 3 jobs, he never stops, until Sunday. So happy he is still going to be around as a better person you will never meet but he has some major life style changes coming up not going to be easy. Be good to your heart.

[Tagger]

Some people you just look at them and you see a heart attack coming . I do cardio to raise my fitness level so i can keep doing the things I love .. surfcasting/skiing.. everything eles (weight loss,,lower chorlesterol) is a bonus. Nobody lives forever , quality of life is more important than length of life to me . best cardio club next town over to us Buzz ..

[Tagger]

Americans eat too much sugar .. drop your sugar intake and watch what happens .. you'd be surprised ,, give it a few weeks .