Relationship Strain/Failure

[iamskippy]

Originally Posted by Poncho

I am celebrating my 1 year anivesary in oct. I don't think i fish as much as some people on this site but my wife still thinks it is obsessive. I also hunt as obsessively as I fish, maybe even more. She is mostly fine with it but there are times when I give in and skip a night of fishing or a hunt. But that being said my one piece of advice is to tell her before you get serious that you are a fisherman. You will always be a fisherman, and you have been fishing long before you met her. It needs to be up front how important it is for you to fish, and she needs to know what it means up front to be fisherman. it is also most important that she knows, ( or thinks) she is number 1. The right women will never tell you, you can't fish. The right women ( and they are out there), may not like your obsessive behavior, but will recognize your primal instincts and support you. My condolences to you on your break up, but just think of all the strange @&$$y you will be getting I between fishing trips. just saying, the cup is half full. So good luck, that being said you are probably at the canal right now and I am going to go spoon and watch sex in The city
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Great post till the end......FAIL!

Been with mine for a little over 3 years now. When i first met her we had coffee and i said i must warn you i am an addict. To which she replied what are you addicted to. I said fishing! She replied i dont get it. I said i get cold sweats, cranky, cant sleep if i dont fish i come and go all hours of the night, but the more of a fix i get the happier i am... she laughed out loud and said ok. We have been together ever since, most night / mornings she has some packed for me to take will get and make me some food or when i was drinking coffe she would have it made. Never once complained i was fishing too much, but at the same time respecting the relationship agreement, i woukd make sure we had some time together. (Rain high winds non fishable days of course)


Oh and if you ever feel you have to work @ a relationship, GET OUT RIGHT AWAY! I am also a workaholic too...


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[Liv2Fish]

Jack Bass Has it. It's like a bank account. Too many withdrawals with no deposits and it goes bust.

[Goose]

In my first marriage I know I could have been a better husband and father had I not been so obsessed with fishing. It wasn't the sole reason for the divorce but it did play a big part. I've come to understand that life is about relationships and balance. Without realizing it many fisherman are trying to fill that void thinking that the next catch will bring lasting contentment,, meanwhile his family who enables him and even cheers him on at times are feeling the real void of not having a husband and father around, when he is around he's on short sleep and thinking how to manage his income so that it fits to his needs.

I do not want to be know as the guy who puts his so called passion of fishing at the top of the list second to his wife and kids and family. Hate to say it but been there done that. Thats sad pretend life. If you decide that fish are your God then you will as such.

Its Saturday morning, cloudy and fishy as hell, my wife who luvs fishing is gone for the day and Im in no rush to stick lip,, fishing now is just a vehicle to build relationships.

Luv what you said Rockport

[Jenn]

Originally Posted by Goose

It wasn't the sole reason for the divorce but it did play a big part. I've come to understand that life is about relationships and balance. Without realizing it many fisherman are trying to fill that void thinking that the next catch will bring lasting contentment,, meanwhile his family who enables him and even cheers him on at times are feeling the real void of not having a husband and father around, when he is around he's on short sleep and thinking how to manage his income so that it fits to his needs.

You got it!

From a womans point of view (yes we are far more emotional as a whole) I married my husband becauseI love him and we enjoyed many of the same types of things and we get to do them TOGETHER. We enjoy each others company and actually want to share life's experiences together. Sure there are limits to this for example I can spend an hour propped up against a tree waiting for a turkey but 4 hours? Hell no, thats his thing. Does he like fishing? yes but not like I do and thats ok. We have learned to compromise a little better over the years too. I used to get irritated if I wanted to go fishing and he didnt. Then I just decided to ask him if he wanted to go and if he didnt I would say "do you mind if I go?" he would always say "not at all" and I would thank him and off I went. I think we get along so well because we share a mutual respect for each other. Whenever we do something without each other we always ask "honey do you mind"? most times the answer is "sure" and sometimes the answer is "well I prefer you didnt" but never is the answer "no you cant".

There are a lot of factors that I think play a role in it. Maybe you never picked the right person in the first place, maybe you did but you were a jackass, maybe your spouse was being a jackass but one thing I am pretty sure of is if your both not in it "together" and dont feel like your a team that needs to support each other (goes both ways ya know) than you might as well forgot it. I often wonder why a man will ask a woman to marry him and then bitch about how he has to get away from his ol' lady. If thats TRULY how you feel than hire a friggin maid and be a batchelor the rest of your life!

Bottom line is and everyone here should agree with me on this, that you become a better fisherman or woman by putting the time in right? Well, relationships are no different!

[Jenn]

....aaaaaannnnd with that being said he just came in with a rediculous pairing of shirt and pants. We are going to a party not a 10 day mountaineering expedition! Sheesh! He mumbles, I mumble tell him to wear whatever he wants dammit!

He just changed Order restored!


True story.

[piemma]

Originally Posted by Jenn

....aaaaaannnnd with that being said he just came in with a rediculous pairing of shirt and pants. We are going to a party not a 10 day mountaineering expedition! Sheesh! He mumbles, I mumble tell him to wear whatever he wants dammit!

He just changed Order restored!


True story.

You gotta know my wife. She's put up with me for almost 46 year and she still doesn't like my "casual attire".

[Jenn]

Originally Posted by piemma

You gotta know my wife. She's put up with me for almost 46 year and she still doesn't like my "casual attire".

I am knowingly and admittedly NOT a fashionista myself so when I recongize a bad match I know it has to be really bad by most people's standards

I have to say I felt really bad for saying something ti him about it after my whole "reflection" on respecting and compromising. As they say timing is everything right?

[Swimmer]

Originally Posted by Jenn

....aaaaaannnnd with that being said he just came in with a rediculous pairing of shirt and pants. We are going to a party not a 10 day mountaineering expedition! Sheesh! He mumbles, I mumble tell him to wear whatever he wants dammit!

He just changed Order restored!-


True story.

Boy thats sounds familiar. Too funny
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[Grampa Greg]

Lots of words of wisdom here. Thank you everyone.

GG