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| StriperTalk! All things Striper |
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04-01-2020, 04:26 PM
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#1
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User
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Cape Cod
Posts: 5,515
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Could use a laugh,,, any jokes out there
guy’s wife makes appointment with marriage counselor,,,
They’re at a session, wife complaining how he never pays any attention to her, no appreciation, no romance , never hugs, and on and on...
Councilor stands up goes over to the wife tells her to stand up and he puts a big sensual romantic hug on her, turns to the husband and says, now, can you you do this three times a week,,,,, sure, I’ll bring her by on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, I fish on Tuesday and Friday...
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04-02-2020, 05:52 AM
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#2
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Oblivious // Grunt, Grunt Master
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: over the hill
Posts: 6,682
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A young guy goes to a urologist and complains that when he wakes up in the morning he has such a hard erection that it is difficult to urinate.
The doctor responds, "Don't worry, that happens to every guy sometimes. When it happens to me I just tell my wife to blow me and everything is quickly OK. Do something similar and I think you'll be cured but just in case come back in two weeks to confirm it.
Two weeks pass and the man returns to the doctor.
"Well, how did my advice work?" the doctor asked.
"Just great", said the young man, "and, Doc, you really have some nice art work in your home, too!".
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04-02-2020, 06:28 AM
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Libtardia
Posts: 21,692
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How many feminists does it take to cross the road?
2!! One to cross the road. And one to suck my !@&$
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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04-02-2020, 06:59 AM
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#4
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Also known as OAK
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Westlery, RI
Posts: 10,408
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nebe
How many feminists does it take to cross the road?
2!! One to cross the road. And one to suck my !@&$
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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Screen capture of thus sent to Jenn in 3.....2......1......   |
Bryan
Originally Posted by #^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&
"For once I agree with Spence. UGH. I just hope I don't get the urge to go start buying armani suits to wear in my shop"
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04-02-2020, 07:36 AM
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#5
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User
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Cape Cod
Posts: 5,515
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Good ones...
Chickens.....
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04-02-2020, 07:39 AM
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#6
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Easton, MA
Posts: 5,737
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What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
Nothing, she just choked.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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04-02-2020, 08:03 AM
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#7
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Marshfield, MA
Posts: 1,748
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Why doesn’t Barbie ever get pregnant
Cause ken comes on a different box.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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04-02-2020, 08:10 AM
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#8
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Super Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Georgetown MA
Posts: 18,203
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What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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04-02-2020, 08:18 AM
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#9
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Certifiable Intertidal Anguiologist
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Somewhere between OOB & west of Watch Hill
Posts: 35,270
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You're all grounded
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~Fix the Bait~ ~Pogies Forever~
Striped Bass Fishing - All Stripers
Kobayashi Maru Election - there is no way to win.
Apocalypse is Coming:
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04-02-2020, 09:00 AM
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#10
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Libtardia
Posts: 21,692
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Did you hear about the new shoes for lesbians??
They’re called dykies.
They were all recalled though. The tongues were too short.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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04-02-2020, 09:00 AM
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#11
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Libtardia
Posts: 21,692
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Why are there no good jokes about the Jonestown massacre???
The punchlines are always too long.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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04-02-2020, 09:01 AM
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#12
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Libtardia
Posts: 21,692
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RIROCKHOUND
Screen capture of thus sent to Jenn in 3.....2......1...... |
She actually thinks that one is funny.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device |
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04-02-2020, 09:05 AM
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#13
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Ledge Runner Baits
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: I live in a house, but my soul is at sea.
Posts: 8,618
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Jenn has been laughing at Clammer’s humor for years, that isn’t going to even get in the top ten. Although like others, it took Jenn years to decipher the Clammer code, for nothing he types is as it seems.
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04-02-2020, 09:07 AM
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#14
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Certifiable Intertidal Anguiologist
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Somewhere between OOB & west of Watch Hill
Posts: 35,270
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Got Stripers
Jenn has been laughing at Clammer’s humor for years, that isn’t going to even get in the top ten. Although like others, it took Jenn years to decipher the Clammer code, for nothing he types is as it seems.
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Different Jenns ; ) |
~Fix the Bait~ ~Pogies Forever~
Striped Bass Fishing - All Stripers
Kobayashi Maru Election - there is no way to win.
Apocalypse is Coming:
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04-02-2020, 09:33 AM
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#15
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Super Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Georgetown MA
Posts: 18,203
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Albert Einstein is at a party and he's surrounded by a small crowd of admirers. He introduces himself to the first member of the group, and asks, "What is your IQ?"
The man answers, "191."
"Wonderful!" says Einstein. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"
Albert then turns to a woman and asks, "What's your IQ?"
She responds, "123."
"Ah!" says Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We, too, have much to discuss!"
Einstein then notices a third member of the group and again inquires about the man's IQ. This time the answer is "62." The great physicist ponders for a moment, then brightens and says, "GO YANKEES!"
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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04-02-2020, 10:15 AM
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#16
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Certifiable Intertidal Anguiologist
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Somewhere between OOB & west of Watch Hill
Posts: 35,270
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dad Fisherman
Albert Einstein is at a party and he's surrounded by a small crowd of admirers. He introduces himself to the first member of the group, and asks, "What is your IQ?"
The man answers, "191."
"Wonderful!" says Einstein. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"
Albert then turns to a woman and asks, "What's your IQ?"
She responds, "123."
"Ah!" says Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We, too, have much to discuss!"
Einstein then notices a third member of the group and again inquires about the man's IQ. This time the answer is "62." The great physicist ponders for a moment, then brightens and says, "GO YANKEES!"
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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Hahahaha |
~Fix the Bait~ ~Pogies Forever~
Striped Bass Fishing - All Stripers
Kobayashi Maru Election - there is no way to win.
Apocalypse is Coming:
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04-02-2020, 10:53 AM
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#17
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: S. Yarmouth, MA
Posts: 1,604
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Over breakfast a guy says to his wife, "Honey after this pandemic is over I'm going to take you on a two week vacation somewhere in the world." With that he tacks a map of the world up on the kitchen wall then gives his wife a dart and says, "Throw the dart and wherever it lands, that's where we'll go on vacation." They're going to spend two weeks behind the refrigerator.
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04-02-2020, 12:40 PM
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#18
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Too old to give a....
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 2,505
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What’s the difference between pink and purple ?
The grip !
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May fortune favor the foolish....
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04-02-2020, 12:52 PM
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#19
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Attleboro, Ma
Posts: 203
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joke
An elderly man is walking down a path when he hears the words help. He looks down and sees a frog. The frog proceeds to tell him that she is really a princess and if he will kiss her she will fulfill all his sexual desires. He then puts the frog in his pocket. He then hears a muffled voice tell him she will fulfill all his sexual desires. To that he responds "I am 82 yrs old and I would rather have a talking frog''
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04-02-2020, 01:28 PM
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#20
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: South Shore
Posts: 506
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimbo
Over breakfast a guy says to his wife, "Honey after this pandemic is over I'm going to take you on a two week vacation somewhere in the world." With that he tacks a map of the world up on the kitchen wall then gives his wife a dart and says, "Throw the dart and wherever it lands, that's where we'll go on vacation." They're going to spend two weeks behind the refrigerator.
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04-02-2020, 03:38 PM
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#21
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 8,718
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What about the lesbian framing crew?
It’s all tongue and groove
Barney Frank’s favorite sign?
Entering Dennis
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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04-02-2020, 04:05 PM
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#22
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User
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Cape Cod
Posts: 5,515
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Behind the frig..... I’m dying over here...
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04-02-2020, 07:05 PM
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#23
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: RI
Posts: 21,463
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Any GOOD jokes please?
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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04-02-2020, 07:18 PM
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#24
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Somerset MA
Posts: 9,372
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How is a Kennedy like a penguin?
They both look good in a tuxedo But neither can fly for #^&#^&#^&#^&
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04-02-2020, 07:56 PM
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#25
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Libtardia
Posts: 21,692
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spence
Any GOOD jokes please?
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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Corona virus will only be killed when Hillary Clinton finds out it has something on her.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device |
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04-03-2020, 01:24 AM
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#26
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Marshfield, MA
Posts: 1,748
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If a stork brings a girl
And a crane brings a boy
What kind of bird brings nothing at all
A swallow
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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04-03-2020, 08:22 AM
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#27
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: S. Yarmouth, MA
Posts: 1,604
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Not a joke, but an apt Quotable Quote from Readers Digest
"If people concentrated on the really important things in life , there'd be a shortage of fishing poles." Doug Larson, Journalist
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04-06-2020, 04:22 AM
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#28
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 492
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A skeleton walks into a bar and says "I'll have a beer and a mop"
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04-07-2020, 10:44 AM
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#29
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Too old to give a....
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 2,505
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Who’s the most popular man at a nudist camp ?
The guy who can carry two cups of coffee and six doughnuts !
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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04-07-2020, 04:09 PM
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#30
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Ashland, Mass.
Posts: 596
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If a midget tells you your hair smells nice... is it sexual harrassment?
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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