Daughter of Habs' Bob Gainey Swept off ship

[likwid]

Originally Posted by PaulS

or with the authorities doing the searching

You, him, anyone else other than the CG, or other professional search groups would get in the way. Period.

SAR work is NOT done with family, not even if they're trained. Emotions get in the way.

And anyhow, this was not some kid lost in the woods.
She might as well have been on the moon.

You can't just sit around and waste away. It does nobody any good.

[PaulS]

Originally Posted by likwid

You, him, anyone else other than the CG, or other professional search groups would get in the way. Period.

SAR work is NOT done with family, not even if they're trained. Emotions get in the way.

And anyhow, this was not some kid lost in the woods.
She might as well have been on the moon.

You can't just sit around and waste away. It does nobody any good.

So if the auth. call and say a family member is missing you don't question them or ask how their going to search, etc. b/c your worrried about getting in the way?

He (or anyone else) is a callous individual and needs help if they can get over their daughter's disappearance within a few hours. He didn't even know if she was alive or dead at that point (if the auth. thought she was dead they wouldn't have continued searching).

Next time someone posts here that their family or friends are sick or have died, are you guys going to tell them to stop sobbing and that they shouldn't sit around and that they should get on with your lives?

[stripersnipr]

Originally Posted by PaulS

So if the auth. call and say a family member is missing you don't question them or ask how their going to search, etc. b/c your worrried about getting in the way?

He (or anyone else) is a callous individual and needs help if they can get over their daughter's disappearance within a few hours. He didn't even know if she was alive or dead at that point (if the auth. thought she was dead they wouldn't have continued searching).

Next time someone posts here that their family or friends are sick or have died, are you guys going to tell them to stop sobbing and that they shouldn't sit around and that they should get on with your lives?

I'm sure he had already been informed as to what efforts were being taken to find his daughter. Different people deal with situations differently and to make the assumption that he just didn't care and went to a Hockey game is just wrong. My friends wife died a couple of years ago from cancer and the day she died her twelve year son old pitched in a baseball game that night. He wasn't being callous, he doesn't need help, he was doing something that helped ease his pain.

[PaulS]

Did he know that she was sick and about to die or was she healthy and died suddenly - I'm guessing that she was sick and that she was expected to pass shortly.

[stripersnipr]

Originally Posted by PaulS

Did he know that she was sick and about to die or was she healthy and died suddenly - I'm guessing that she was sick and that she was expected to pass shortly.

Knowing his mother is dying lessened the impact for a kid to the point he feels comfortable enough with it that he just pushed it aside to play baseball? Far from it. The point here is people deal with tragedy and emotions differently and there is nothing wrong with what either of them did. Do you think Gainey was going to do hop in his car and go out there and look for her? It appears he instead chose to be with people he was close to and await word. I actually find it hard to believe that someone could pass judgement on the guy without even knowing him or having experienced the same situation he has.

[PaulS]

Yup, I calling him callous for leaving the rest of his family to go attend a hockey game. If as you say he was closer to his hockey players rather than to his family that doesn't speak highly for him also. He choose to go to a hockey game rather than comfort the rest of his children - in my mind that doesn't speak highly of his parenting skills either.

No I have been lucky and haven't had a family member disappear. However, when a family member passes in my family, there are about 25-35 people at the hospital/house within 1 hour or so everyone drops what they are doing (including vacation plans) to be with the family to express support or do what they can. I guess I'm fortunate to have a family that thinks that way.

The reporter also thought his attending a game a few hours after being told his daughter disappeared unusual enough that he put it in his story.

[stripersnipr]

Originally Posted by PaulS

Yup, I calling him callous for leaving the rest of his family to go attend a hockey game. If as you say he was closer to his hockey players rather than to his family that doesn't speak highly for him also. He choose to go to a hockey game rather than comfort the rest of his children - in my mind that doesn't speak highly of his parenting skills either.

No I have been lucky and haven't had a family member disappear. However, when a family member passes in my family, there are about 25-35 people at the hospital/house within 1 hour or so everyone drops what they are doing (including vacation plans) to be with the family to express support or do what they can. I guess I'm fortunate to have a family that thinks that way.

The reporter also thought his attending a game a few hours after being told his daughter disappeared unusual enough that he put it in his story.

I guess I missed the part of the story that said he left his grieving family behind. I'm glad you find comfort in the way your family handles grief and I'm sure Bob Gainey wont find fault in it.

[likwid]

Originally Posted by PaulS

So if the auth. call and say a family member is missing you don't question them or ask how their going to search, etc. b/c your worrried about getting in the way?

Sure, you can question them, but they're only going to give you as much information as they can. You obviously didn't get this. And you could ask and beg and offer to pay them off or fight with them to try to 'help' but they're not going to let you.

He (or anyone else) is a callous individual and needs help if they can get over their daughter's disappearance within a few hours.

Thats a rather pathetic and shallow assumption to make.

He didn't even know if she was alive or dead at that point (if the auth. thought she was dead they wouldn't have continued searching).

They called it off eventually though. And I'm sure he knew as well as they did, it was a corpse search after the first 24 hours.

Next time someone posts here that their family or friends are sick or have died, are you guys going to tell them to stop sobbing and that they shouldn't sit around and that they should get on with your lives?

If they're just going to complain and whine and not find a constructive way to cope I'm going to tell them to seek professional help immediately.