Daughter of Habs' Bob Gainey Swept off ship - Striper Talk Striped Bass Fishing, Surfcasting, Boating

likwid · 12-12-2006, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaulS

That would be nice - would you have went to the game?

Considering it was while the search was still on, I would have found anything to get out and not sit at home steaming and fuming.

I've been in situations where people in my family have been almost lost offshore, and it sucks, but it doesn't mean I'm going to sit at home by the phone waiting for bad news.

MarshCappa · 12-12-2006, 02:40 PM

When a person who has been with an organization as long as him, that is his family and his support group. He obviously has a big support group and large extended family in Montreal so I don't critisize him one bit for going to the game. I'm sure he was at the game physically but mentally he was with his daughter. It his way of copping and my heart goes out to him and his family.

PaulS · 12-12-2006, 03:04 PM

I would say that both of your responses are not what the majority of the population would do. Your support group would expect you to be with the rest of your family or with the authorities doing the searching - asking them what they are doing,etc rather than going on with your life as if nothing happened. This was not 7 days after she disappeared, but rather the same night he was told.

I'd be home sobbing.

likwid · 12-12-2006, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaulS

or with the authorities doing the searching

You, him, anyone else other than the CG, or other professional search groups would get in the way. Period.

SAR work is NOT done with family, not even if they're trained. Emotions get in the way.

And anyhow, this was not some kid lost in the woods.
She might as well have been on the moon.

You can't just sit around and waste away. It does nobody any good.

PaulS · 12-12-2006, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by likwid

You, him, anyone else other than the CG, or other professional search groups would get in the way. Period.

SAR work is NOT done with family, not even if they're trained. Emotions get in the way.

And anyhow, this was not some kid lost in the woods.
She might as well have been on the moon.

You can't just sit around and waste away. It does nobody any good.

So if the auth. call and say a family member is missing you don't question them or ask how their going to search, etc. b/c your worrried about getting in the way?

He (or anyone else) is a callous individual and needs help if they can get over their daughter's disappearance within a few hours. He didn't even know if she was alive or dead at that point (if the auth. thought she was dead they wouldn't have continued searching).

Next time someone posts here that their family or friends are sick or have died, are you guys going to tell them to stop sobbing and that they shouldn't sit around and that they should get on with your lives?

stripersnipr · 12-12-2006, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaulS

So if the auth. call and say a family member is missing you don't question them or ask how their going to search, etc. b/c your worrried about getting in the way?

He (or anyone else) is a callous individual and needs help if they can get over their daughter's disappearance within a few hours. He didn't even know if she was alive or dead at that point (if the auth. thought she was dead they wouldn't have continued searching).

Next time someone posts here that their family or friends are sick or have died, are you guys going to tell them to stop sobbing and that they shouldn't sit around and that they should get on with your lives?

I'm sure he had already been informed as to what efforts were being taken to find his daughter. Different people deal with situations differently and to make the assumption that he just didn't care and went to a Hockey game is just wrong. My friends wife died a couple of years ago from cancer and the day she died her twelve year son old pitched in a baseball game that night. He wasn't being callous, he doesn't need help, he was doing something that helped ease his pain.

PaulS · 12-12-2006, 04:26 PM

Did he know that she was sick and about to die or was she healthy and died suddenly - I'm guessing that she was sick and that she was expected to pass shortly.

likwid · 12-12-2006, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaulS

So if the auth. call and say a family member is missing you don't question them or ask how their going to search, etc. b/c your worrried about getting in the way?

Sure, you can question them, but they're only going to give you as much information as they can. You obviously didn't get this. And you could ask and beg and offer to pay them off or fight with them to try to 'help' but they're not going to let you.

Quote:

He (or anyone else) is a callous individual and needs help if they can get over their daughter's disappearance within a few hours.

Thats a rather pathetic and shallow assumption to make.

Quote:

He didn't even know if she was alive or dead at that point (if the auth. thought she was dead they wouldn't have continued searching).

They called it off eventually though. And I'm sure he knew as well as they did, it was a corpse search after the first 24 hours.

Quote:

Next time someone posts here that their family or friends are sick or have died, are you guys going to tell them to stop sobbing and that they shouldn't sit around and that they should get on with your lives?

If they're just going to complain and whine and not find a constructive way to cope I'm going to tell them to seek professional help immediately.