Interesting piece of history....



In 1872 the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine .



In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

Interesting piece of history....



In 1872 the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine .



In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

The question is........................If you had to pick, which Goat would you rather be? :confused:

I had a litlle chicken that wouldn't lay an egg so I poured hot water up and down the chickens leg. The little chicken cried and the little chicken begged, the gosh darn chicken laid a hard boiled egg!

Sing that out loud at your next holiday function and watch the looks you get. People are so strange.
I really can't get more random that guys, sorry.

This may be the most posted thread but Giada has most views, by about 20K! Katy's thread has the most gawkers (views/posts)

I got a sweater for Christmas. What I really wanted was a screamer or moaner...

























IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE

An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light.

The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?"

The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!"

"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Because this car can do up to 220 miles an hour!" states the doctor proudly.

The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"

"No problem," replies the doctor.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right.... but I'll stick with my Moped!"

Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 150 mph.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer !

He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH! Something whips by him going much faster!

"What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the doctor asks himself.

He presses harder on the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 180 mph.

Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped!

Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 200 mph and he's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!

Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 220 mph.

Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do !

Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.

The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man is still alive.

He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says, "I'm a doctor.... Is there anything I can do for you ?"

The old man whispers,

"Unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror!"

Now that is f funny, Phil

http://i.imgur.com/MOUBq.gif

I saw a one legged man with no arms at the ATM this morning, he asked if I could check his balance....so I pushed him!

Spent $50 on E-bay for a penis enlarger..............



Bastards sent me a magnifying glass.!!.

Got to get me one of these, more plugs to ho!

Woodcutting and splitting attachment. [VIDEO] (http://www.wimp.com/woodcuttingattachment/)

Spent $50 on E-bay for a penis enlarger..............



Bastards sent me a magnifying glass.!!.

I'm using this one:rotf2:

DID you ever read about the group of trees in the Arizona mountains...

as it turned out the whole forest was but a single tree
all with the same EXACT DNA........ the largest living thing on earth

a single ENTITY ....kinda like.... how on star trek
their cruisin around in outer space and they encounter a new life form

So, i do believe in burning wood .... but tree's are to be as respected
as is a fish or a deer....is...

i draw the line at RODENTS though (Cuz they SUCK !)
SPIDERS and poisoness snakes or anything that will kill me....
where it's me or them....i'll BLAST em :uhuh: every-time

China's US relationship....not sure this is funny?

China's US relationship....not sure this is funny or not?

Not that funny.
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I like the TRUMP approach

BUMP :D

Enjoy just passing along::)

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is
narrow.. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

3.. No one is listening until you fart.

4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet..

6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try
missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you
have their shoes.

8.. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.

13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes
from bad judgment.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse
.... then things just keep getting worse.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easy.

So the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists saying that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says. This catches the seniors’ attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.



The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?'

The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now it's the senior's turn He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'

The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net.

He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.

He wakes the senior and hands him $500. The senior pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'

The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

Warp speed: Scientist out of CERN have reported that they were able to measure a neutrino going faster than the speed of light. According to Einstein's Special Theory this should not be possible. Data still up for review&verification.

Distance traveled 454 miles (as I understand trajectory was through the earth, what an aim this gun has).

From my calculations:
Time expected: 2437296 nanoseconds (for the non sci enabled: 0.00243 sec or much shorter time than the blink of an eye)
Time recored: 2437236 nanoseconds (60 nanosecs to short a time, error only +/-10 nanoseconds).

Apparently Fermi lab in Chicago had a similar result back in 2007 but their measurement error was too great when firing neutrinos from Chicago to Minnesota.

Summary: Warp speeds >1 maybe be a reality......:)

Today's Dilbert and B.C.:rotf2:

Today's Dilbert and B.C.:rotf2:

Working in IT it's astounding how many companies don't even know how some of their applications work.
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Irina says hello :wave:

http://www.saltys.co/images/irina.jpg

Hello Irina! homina homina homina

Frank you can google Irina Shayk but she's taken :hee:

http://www.saltys.co/images/irina2.jpg
http://www.saltys.co/images/irina3.jpg

OK so who lied?

One day a man decides to retire...



He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.


He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.



After about four months,
he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron and I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned!

"Let's row over to my place," she says "and I'll give you a tour." So, after a short time of rowing, she soon
docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and a tree house.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Please sit down."

"Would you like a drink?"

"No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"Oh it's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Tropical Spritz?"



Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."

No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of gardenias. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've both been out here for many months.
You must have been lonely. When was the last time you played around? She stares into his eyes.

He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
"You've built a Golf Course?"

Thought you could use a touching story for the holiday season...



A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the

mall was packed.



Walking through the mall, the surprised wife looked up and noticed her

husband was nowhere to be found, and she was very upset because they

had a lot to do.



She used her cell phone to call her husband because she was so upset,

and asked him where he was.



In a calm voice the husband said: "Honey, remember the jewelry store we

went into 10 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace

that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"



His wife, crying now, said, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store!"



He said,"Well, I'm in the bar next to it."

Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you have a strong mind:

7H15 M3554G3
53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
R34D1NG 17
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H 0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15.
PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
U C4N R34D 7H15

Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you have a strong mind:

7H15 M3554G3
53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
R34D1NG 17
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H 0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15.
PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
U C4N R34D 7H15


why does it mean you have a strong mind?
that is easy as pie to read, almost able to read it faster than regular

why does it mean you have a strong mind?
that is easy as pie to read, almost able to read it faster than regular

Always knew you were one to :eyes: right through all the :bs: and :read: better than most :scatter: brained :morons:

Warp speed: Scientist out of CERN have reported that they were able to measure a neutrino going faster than the speed of light. According to Einstein's Special Theory this should not be possible. Data still up for review&verification.

Distance traveled 454 miles (as I understand trajectory was through the earth, what an aim this gun has).

From my calculations:
Time expected: 2437296 nanoseconds (for the non sci enabled: 0.00243 sec or much shorter time than the blink of an eye)
Time recored: 2437236 nanoseconds (60 nanosecs to short a time, error only +/-10 nanoseconds).

Apparently Fermi lab in Chicago had a similar result back in 2007 but their measurement error was too great when firing neutrinos from Chicago to Minnesota.

Summary: Warp speeds >1 maybe be a reality......:)

From the department of “If it sounds too amazing to be true, you probably forgot to carry the three,” Edwin Cartlidge at Science Magazine is reporting that the much-hyped report about subatomic particles that could travel faster than the speed of light, violating all sorts of rules of physics, was in fact probably the result of a snafu involving a fiber optic cable and a GPS receiver.

According to sources familiar with the experiment, the 60 nanoseconds discrepancy appears to come from a bad connection between a fiber optic cable that connects to the GPS receiver used to correct the timing of the neutrinos’ flight and an electronic card in a computer. After tightening the connection and then measuring the time it takes data to travel the length of the fiber, researchers found that the data arrive 60 nanoseconds earlier than assumed. Since this time is subtracted from the overall time of flight, it appears to explain the early arrival of the neutrinos. New data, however, will be needed to confirm this hypothesis.

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido..

'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor.

'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.'

'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.'

It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!'

'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor.

'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!'

'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor, 'Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?'

'Feckin jaysus, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin here, I'll never be able to show me face in Dunkin Donuts again!'

:btu:

Stole off of FB, have a nice Labor Day:

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rdgrade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last six questions wrong...

My wife has been telling me about this huge bird in our yard that occasionally sits on deck railing. Well it landed there a short time ago and i got to see it. Grey and white back, with a tan chest with brown flecks. It flew down towards the garden where the mate was waiting. Took some pics wfith phone but I dont know if the bird is identifiable from the pic. Will post a little later.
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President obama should do something about this....!!!

no wait , he has to ask congress first after he wipes his new dog sh it off
his shoe on the old antique crappy desk he heh heh

THE PERFECT HUSBAND:

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up.

The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks,
"Anyone know whose phone this is?

my has the World of Mr Sadness changed.... how's that change workin for ya? :)

http://pics.blameitonthevoices.com/032010/manboobs.jpg

Won hung low...
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Oh wee wee. :hidin:
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http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c66/ravenob1/kramer-the-bro-seinfeld.jpghttp://pics.blameitonthevoices.com/032010/manboobs.jpg

Author unkonwn:

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.

“Follow me son” the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. “First we swim around them a few times
with just the tip of our fins showing.” And they did.
“Well done, son!

Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing.” And they did.

“Now we eat everybody.” And they did.

When they were both gorged, the son asked, “Dad, why didn’t we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?”


His wise father replied, “Because they taste better without the schist inside!”
Now you know

:wall:

Davey:wave:

Happy Thanksgiving. Still miss fishing with you

You've seen all the commercials. But what really happens when
you ask for help with an erection lasting more than 4 hours?

I walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.
The woman I was speaking with said she was the only pharmacist
and since she and her sister owned the store, there were no male
employees.

She asked if she could help me. I said that I really would have
preferred to speak with a male pharmacist. She assured me that
she was completely professional and whatever it was that I needed
to discuss, I could be confident that she would treat me with a high
level of professionalism.

I reluctantly agreed and began by saying, "As a shy man, this is
tough for me to discuss, but here goes. I get erections every day
that last more than four hours. This condition causes me a lot of
problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you
could give me for it?"

The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll talk to my sister."

When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and this
is the absolute best we can do:

* 1/3 ownership in the store,
* a company pickup truck,
* a king size bed and
* $3,000 a month in living expenses."

Canadians Version of David Letterman's Top 10. Just makes you want to shake your head in disbelief, and, just maybe choke someone in charge. This is Canada's Top Ten List of America's Stupidity.

*Of course we look like idiots - we are!*

*#10* Only in America... could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000 per plate *Obama *campaign fund-raising event.

*#09 *Only in America... could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney General and roughly 20% of the federal workforce is black while only 14% of the population is black, 40+% of all federal entitlements goes to black Americans - 3X the rate that go to whites, 5X the rate that go to Hispanics.

#*08* Only in America... could they have had the two people most responsible for the tax code, Timothy Geithner (the head of the Treasury Department) and Charles Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Means Committee), BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.

*#07 *Only in America... can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.

*#06* Only in America... would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just' magically' become American citizens. (probably should be number one)

*#05 *Only in America... could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country's Constitution be called *EXTREMISTS.*

*#04 *Only in America... could you need to present a driver's license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.

*#03 *Only in America... could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. Oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike).

*#02* Only in America... could you collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion dollars more than it has per year - for total spending of $7 Million PER MINUTE, and complain that it doesn't have nearly enough money.

*#01 *Only in America... could the rich people - who pay 86% of all income taxes - be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay any income taxes at all.

That should be pined in the poltical thread Buzz i enjoyed reading this.
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shocking
even more shocking that OBAMA HASN'T DECLARED
Basket ball be taught in preschool

shocking
even more shocking that OBAMA HASN'T DECLARED
Basket ball be taught in preschool

Little racist as he prefers golf.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

is it wet yet?