There is a competition amongst other people that use the same message board program as we do here at S-B. It started a couple days ago and for Grins & Giggles, I figured we could jump in too. Now there is no prize and I won't get a gold star on my forehead if we join in but I figured - Why Not?


Below are the rules that were put together by the guy who started this competition.

So do we have a chance of winning? Hell no! Some of these sites have more users than we do posts but I think we can be a little respectable http://striped-bass.com/images/plasma_dude.gif


A bit of fun, Longest Thread Competition (post #1)

I was thinking that we would have a bit of fun on out forums, and start a "Longest Thread Competition"

The idea is that you start a thread on your site called "The Longest Thread in History" like I have done here, and then try and make it longer than anyone else’s forums longest thread (if you know what I mean).

The topic of the thread is open to what anyone wants to talk about, for example we have played word games, asked random questions, discussed the weather, and just had a really good time.

I guess that because this is not going to be anything more than a bit of fun, we only need a few rules, but here they are:

1, The longest thread must be a new thread started when you enter the competition.
2, The thread must be named "The Longest Thread in History".
3, once you have started your thread, you must post a link to it here.
4, the competition starts as soon as you post your link.
5, You can talk about whatever you want but dont post short messages only like smilies or "k".
6, the competition ends in one month - 4th March 2002, (so you had better enter quick)

Now I fully admit that I've got a bit of a head start on you guys, but my forum is so small that it would be EASY for you guys to catch up with me, and just think of the appraisal when you over take the guy that started this competition.

Now after all, this is nothing more than a bit of fun, so there will be no prizes other than an announcement on my forum stated that you have won (I personally will not be entering the competition because I’ll be moderating it)

And remember, as they used to say on The Big Breakfast, "Don't phone in, it's just for fun".

On your marks, Get set, GO!!

..How many times can the same user post a reply in succession?..:D:D.....

Well??....whats the answer?....;)

ok.....if the RED house is on the Right.....


and the bloo house is on the left.......

where's the white house???......

WASHINGTON DC!!!!

ANOTHER QUICKIE.......:D

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband
stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"


He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on
the phone."

Sheeeeeeeesh!!!!.......I have a lot of time on my hands right now...


...I was asked to design a menu cover, maybe I should get off here....and start gettin busy.....:p

...First a George Burns quote for ya......;)


"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot
pool with a rope."


I laugh at that one everytime .....:D:D

this is the cleanest I could find
An old Italian woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish New York City office building.
A young and beautiful woman, smelling like expensive perfume, gets into the elevator. She turns to the old Italian woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
A couple of floors later, another young and beautiful woman, smelling like expensive perfume, gets into the elevator. She turns to the old Italian woman and says arrogantly, Chanel No. 5, $150 an ounce!"
Three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her destination. As she exits the elevator, she peers at both women, bends over and farts, then bellows,
"Broccoli - 49 cents a pound!"

.....I hope this ones' not too......ummm...naughty for the site John..

..feel free to remove it, if anyone protests....:rolleyes:


"An elderly couple, Sam and Bessie, are "snowbirds" in Donna,
Texas. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots.
Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home,
walking proudly.

He walks into the house and says to his wife, "Notice anything
different about me?" Bessie looks him over, "Nope."

Frustrated
Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back
into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again
he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT
NOW?"

Bessie looks up and says, "Sam, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down > again tomorrow."

Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS
HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN
BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!"

To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam. ....
Shoulda bought a hat."

That's the idea Bloo :smash: :smash: :smash: :smash:

Hey John.....I gotz a question for ya......

:D....why don't you ever appear to be online....when in fact, you are!!......you playin "Secret Sheriff" or somethin'...??...:D:D:D

Here gos

Man dies and goes to hell. The big guy comes in and tells his #2 man to but this one to work in a field smashing rocks with a 20# hammer and to make it 90 deg. and 90% humidity. That night he stops by to see how sick the guy is but he is smiling and loughing as he smashs the rocks. He gets mad as hell and tells the guy he should be sick as hell of this job but the guy said it was great just like back home in Massachusetts on his wonderfull farm. So he tells the #2 man to make it 110 deg. and 110 % humidity. The next night he stops by to see how sick the guy is and he is singing and has a big smile on his face. He looks at the guy and tells him he should be sick of hell but the guy said this is great just like back home on my beloved farm back in Massachusetts. So he tells his #2 man to make it -20deg. 40 mph winds and a snow and ice storm! Next day he stops by and the guy is now smiling,dancing,and loughing, he looks at the guy and asks him how can he be so happy in hell and the man said back its like this COLD DAY IN HELL MUST MEEN THAT MY PATRIOS WON THE SUPERBOWL!!!!!!!!

Oldie but Goodie: You actually have to think a little - sorry
:smash:

Each question below contains the initials of words that will make it correct. Find the missing words.

For Example: 8 = S on a S S, would be:
8 = Sides on a Stop Sign

1. 8 = S on a S S

2. 3 = B M (S H T R)

3. 4 = Q in a G

4. 24 = H in a D

5. 1 = W on a U

6. 57 = H V

7. 1,000 = W that a P is W

8. 29 = D in F in a L Y

9. 64 = S on a C

10. 40 = D and N of the G F

ICE

#2....3 Bass Men...(Striper Hunting The RacePoint)...:smash:

#3....4 Quahogs in a Grinder??..:happy:

#4....24 Hours in a Day....:)

#5....1 Walleye on a Unicycle....???...:confused:

#6.....57 Heinz Varieties.....:)

#7 ....1,000 Ways that a Pogy is Whammed!!!...:p

#8.....29 Days in February in a Leap Year.....:)

#9....64 Stripers on a CuttyHunk trip!!!!!......:laughs: (my favorite)

#10....40 Days and Nights of the Goin' Flukin' (routine)...:D

....:mad: Where are the rest of the troops???....

c'mon fellas......point click ....point click!!!.....

its easy.....:happy: :happy: :happy:

.....Sheeeeeesh!!!...so much for team effort!!....:rolleyes:


....I think you guys need a new water cooler at the shop!!!..;)

http://striped-bass.com/images/bloo/funpic325.jpg

Im on a 56K that actually runs at 28.8 because of line noise that verizon can't seem to fix!!! All well here goes. Heres some jokes.

this is my wifes not mine!



THREE MEN

One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging,
violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how
to do so.
The first man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength to
cross this river"; Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was
able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a
couple of times.
Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, 'Please God, give me the
strength and the tools to cross this river"; Poof! God gave him a rowboat
and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost
capsizing the boat a couple of times.
The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also
prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools...and
the intelligence... to cross this river." And poof! God turned him into a
woman. She looked at the map, hiked up stream a couple of hundred yards,
then walked across the bridge.

THE HOTEL BILL
------------------------------------------------------------
A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to
Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're
too tired to continue, and decided to stop for a rest. They
stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to
sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When
they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them
a bill for $350.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so
high. He tells the clerk althought it's a nice hotel, the
rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk tells him
$350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to
the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man and then explains
that the hotel has an Olympic sized pool and a huge
conference center that were available for the husband and
wife to use.

"But we didn't use them", the man complains. "Well, they
are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.

He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the
shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers
from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the
Manager says. "But we didn't go to any of those shows",
complains the man again.

"Well, we have them, and you could have", the Manager
replies. No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the
man replies, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and
agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.
The manager is surprised when he looks at the check.
"But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for $100."

"That's right," says the man. "I charged you $250 for
sleeping with my wife."

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well," the man replies, "she was here, and you could have!"

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight mini skirt. When the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus. Embarrassed, and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. A little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step, and once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With an embarrassed smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make it. About this time, a large Texan, who was standing behind her picked her up by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would be Samaritan and yelled "How dare you touch my body! I don't know you!" The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, Ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we were friends."

Subject: Need a laugh?
There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles, so she decided to
kidnap a child and demand a ransom.
She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and
wrote this note:
"I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the
big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 AM.
Signed,
The Blonde"
She gave the little boy the note, and told him to go straight home and give
the note to his mother.................
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown
bag, behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was
the following note:
"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to
another!"

new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil.
> > > > The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a
> > > > rock pile with a 20-pound sledge hammerin 95 degree
> > > > heat with 95% humidity. At the end of the day, the
> > > > devil went to see how the man was doing, only to
> > > > find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The
> > > > man explained that the heat and hard labor were very
> > > > similar to those on his beloved farm back in
> > > > Massachusetts
> > > >
> > > > The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120
> > > > degrees, with 100% humidity. At the end of the next
> > > > day, the devil again checked on the new man, and
> > > > found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The
> > > > man explained that it felt like the old days, when he
> > > > had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on
> > > > his beloved farm back in Massachusetts.
> > > >
> > > > At that, the devil told his demon to lower the
> > > > temperature for this man to -20 degrees with a 40
> > > > mph wind. At the end of the next day, the devil was
> > > > confident that he would find the man miserable.
> > > > But, the man was instead singing louder than ever,
> > > > twirling the sledge hammer like a baton. When the
> > > > devil asked him why he was so happy, the man
> > > > answered,
> > > > "Cold day in hell, the Patriots must have won the
> > > > Super Bowl!"

Subject: 21st Century Church
>
> The elder priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "I know you were
> reaching out to the young people when you had bucket seats put in to
replace
> the first four pews. It worked. We got the front of the church filled
first."
> The young priest nodded and the old one continued, "And, you told me a
> little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so
I
> supported you when you brought in that rock 'n roll gospel choir that
packed
> us to the balcony."
>
> "So," asked the young priest, "what's the problem?"
> "Well," said the elder priest, "I'm afraid you've gone too far with the
drive-thru confessional."
> But Father," protests the young priest. "My confessions have nearly
doubled since I began that!" "I know, I know, my son, but the bishop has
told me that the flashing neon sign "Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell",.. HAS TO
GO !!..!

What do women really want?
>
> Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the
> monarch of neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have
> killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So the
> monarch offered him freedom, as longas he could answer a
> very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the
> answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer he would be put to death.
>
> The question: What do women really want?
> Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man,
> and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since
> it was better than death, he accepted the monarchs proposition
> to have an answer by year's end.
>
> He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody:
> the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court
> jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory
> answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch-only
> she would know the answer. The price would be high; the witch was
> famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
> The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to
talk
> to
> the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he'd have to accept
> her price first: The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of
> the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur
> was horrified: She was hunchbacked and hideous, and only one tooth,
smelled
> like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a
> repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her, and have
> him endure such burden.
>
> Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him
> that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the
> preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed,
> and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:
>
> What a woman really wants is to be in charge of her own life.
> Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and
> that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring
> monarch granted Arthur total freedom.
>
> What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn
> between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle, and
> courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display, and
> generally made everyone very uncomfortable.
>
> The hour approached. Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific experience,
> entered the bedroom. But what a sight awaited him! The most beautiful
> woman he'd ever seen lay before him! The astounded Gawain asked what
> had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her
when
> she'd appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible, deformed
> self
> half the time, and the other half she would be her beautiful maiden self.
>
> Which would he want her to be during the day, and which during the night?
> What a cruel question! Gawain pondered his predicament. During the day a
> beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy
of
> his home,
> an old witch? Or would he prefer to have by day a hideous witch, but by
> night a
> beautiful woman with whom to enjoy many intimate moments?
>
> What would you do?
>
> What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until you've made your
> own choice.
>
>
>
> Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon
hearing
> this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he
had
> respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
>
>
>
> What is the moral of this story?
> The moral is: if your woman doesn't get her own way, things are going to
get
> ugly!
>
>

> After getting all his luggage loaded in the limo, and His Holiness
doesn't
> travel light, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the
> curb.
>
> Hey, Mr. Pope.." says the driver in accented English, "Why have you not
> seated yourself in this excellent limo?"
> "Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "They never let me drive at

> the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive."
>
> "That is very much against the rules!" protests the driver, wishing he'd
> never left Calcutta.
>
> "There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.
>
> Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope gets in behind the
> wheel. He quickly regrets his decision when, after clearing the airport,
> the Pope accelerates the limo to 105 mph.
>
> "Please be driving not so rapidly, Mr. Pope," pleads the worried driver,
> but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal. Then they hear the siren.
>
> "Oh, my God, now I am surely losing my license," moans the driver.
>
> The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the patrolman
approaches,
> but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets
on
> the radio. "I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatch.
>
> The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a
limo
> going a hundred and five. "So bust him," said the Chief. "I think the
> guy's a big shot," said the cop. "All the more reason."
> "No, I mean really a big shot," said the cop.
> "What'd ya got there, the Mayor?"
> "Bigger."
> "Governor."
> "Bigger."
> "Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
> "I don't know", said the cop, "but he's got the Pope driving for him."
>
>

"Moral Question"

.This is an imaginary situation, but I think it is fun to decide what one would do....

.
The situation:
You are in the Middle East, and there is a huge flood in progress. Many homes have been lost, water supplies compromise and structures destroyed.
You are a photographer getting still photos for the CNN news service and are traveling alone,
looking for particularly poignant scenes.
You come across Osama Bin Laden who has been swept away by the floodwaters. He is barely hanging on to a tree limb and is about to go under.You can either put down your camera and save him,or take a Pulitzer Prize winning photograph of him as he loses his grip on the limb.
So, here's the question and think carefully before you answer the question below:

Would you use a wide angle lens, or a telephoto?

NOT A JOKE BUT IT MAKES YA THINK..........


WHAT REALLY COUNTS.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. It was
> > >> a
> > >> cowboy's life, a
> > >> >>life for someone who wanted no boss. What I didn't
> > >> realize was that it
> > >> >>was also a ministry. Because I drove the night shift,
> > >> my
> > >> cab became a
> > >> moving
> > >> >>confessional. Passengers climbed in, sat behind me in
> > >> total anonymity,
> > >> >>and told me about their lives. I encountered people
> > >> whose
> > >> lives amazed
> > >> me,
> > >> >>ennobled me, made me laugh and weep. But none touched
> > >> me
> > >> more than a
> > >> >>woman I picked up late one August night.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> I was responding to a call from a small brick
> > >> fourplex
> > >> in a quiet part
> > >> >> of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some
> > >> partiers, or
> > >> >>someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or a
> > >> worker heading to an
> > >> early
> > >> >> shift at some factory for the industrial part of
> > >> town.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark
> > >> except for a single
> > >> >>light in a ground floor window. Under these
> > >> circumstances,
> > >> many drivers
> > >> would
> > >> >> just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive
> > >> away.
> > >> But I had seen
> > >> >>too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as
> > >> their only means of
> > >> >> transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger,
> > >> I
> > >> always went to
> > >> >>the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my
> > >> assistance, I
> > >> >>reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and
> > >> knocked.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I
> > >> could hear
> > >> >> something being dragged across the floor. After a
> > >> long
> > >> pause, the door
> > >> >>opened. A small woman in her 80s stood before me. She
> > >> was
> > >> wearing a print
> > >> dress
> > >> >> and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like
> > >> somebody out of a 1940s
> > >> >> movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The
> > >> apartment looked as
> > >> >>if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture
> > >> was covered with
> > >> >>sheets.
> > >> >>There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or
> > >> utensils on the
> > >> counters.
> > >> >> In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos
> > >> and
> > >> glassware.
> > >> >>>> "would you carry my bag out to the car?"
> > >> she
> > >> said. I took the
> > >> suitcase
> > >> >> to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She
> > >> took
> > >> my arm and we
> > >> >> walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me
> > >> for my kindness.
> > >> >> "It's nothing", I told her. "I just try to treat my
> > >> passengers the way
> > >> >>I would want my mother treated".
> > >> >>
> > >> >> "Oh, you're such a good boy", she said.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> When we got in the cab, she gave me and address, then
> > >> asked, "Could you
> > >> >> drive through downtown?"
> > >> >>
> > >> >> "It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> "Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry.
> > >> I'm
> > >> on my way to a
> > >> >>hospice".
> > >> >>
> > >> >> I looked in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were
> > >> glistening.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> "I don't have any family left," she continued. "The
> > >> doctor says I
> > >> >> don't have very long."
> > >> >>
> > >> >> I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
> > >> "What
> > >> route would you
> > >> >> like me to take?" I asked.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> For the next two hours, we drove through the city.
> > >> She
> > >> showed me the
> > >> >> building where she had once worked as an elevator
> > >> operator. We drove
> > >> >>through the neighborhood where she and her husband had
> > >> lived when they
> > >> were
> > >> >> newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a
> > >> furniture
> > >> warehouse that
> > >> >> had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing
> > >> as a
> > >> girl. Sometimes
> > >> >> she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular
> > >> building
> > >> or corner and
> > >> >>would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon,
> > >> she
> > >> suddenly said,
> > >> >>"I'm tired. Let's go now."
> > >> >>
> > >> >> We drove in silence to the address she had given me.
> > >> It
> > >> was a low
> > >> >> building, like a small convalescent home, with a
> > >> driveway that passed
> > >> >>under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as
> > >> soon
> > >> as we pulled
> > >> up.
> > >> >>They were solicitous and intent, watching her every
> > >> move.
> > >> They must have
> > >> been
> > >> >> expecting her.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the
> > >> door. The woman
> > >> >> was already seated in a wheelchair.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> "How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into
> > >> her
> > >> purse.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> "Nothing," I said.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> "You have to make a living," she answered.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> "There are other passengers," I responded.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug.
> > >> She held onto me
> > >> >> tightly.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> "You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she
> > >> said. "Thank you."
> > >> >>
> > >> >> I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning
> > >> light. Behind me,
> > >> >> a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a
> > >> life.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I
> > >> drove aimlessly,
> > >> >> lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could
> > >> hardly talk. What if
> > >> >>that woman
> > >> >> had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient
> > >> to
> > >> end his shift?
> > >> >> What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked
> > >> once, then driven
> > >> >>away?
> > >> >>
> > >> >> On a quick review, I don't think that I have done
> > >> anything more
> > >> >> important in my life. We're conditioned to think
> > >> that
> > >> our lives revolve
> > >> >>around great moments. But great moments often catch us
> > >> unaware-beautifully
> > >>
> > >> >>wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
> > >> >>
> > >> >>
> > >> >> PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR
> > >> WHAT
> > >> YOU SAID, ...BUT
> > >> >>THEY
> > >> >>WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

Subject: The Hormone Hostage

This should apply to every husband. The Hormone Hostage knows that there
are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he
takes his life in his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in
the wallet of every husband,
boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

And my personal favorite.....

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!

double post!

12 Shots

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

15 Signs You Drank Too Much

15 - You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping — with your Oldsmobile.
14 - Although armed with fire extinguishers, friends stood at a safe distance as you blew out your birthday candles.
13 - Thanks to you, Jack Daniels stock is up 15 1/4 since Friday.
12 - Boris Yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the Stoli.
11 - For some reason, there's salt on the rim of your basketball goal.
10 - Your name is Otis and Sheriff Andy has brought you some of Aunt Bea's pancakes.
9 - For the money you spent on Thunderbird, you could've bought the automobile.
8 - You're now the proud inventor of the "Slim Jim": Ultra Slim-Fast shakes made with Jim Beam.
7 - Answering machine full of warnings from Coach Switzer.
6 - Absolut wants to run an ad featuring a picture of your liver in the shape of a bottle.
5 - Yet again, dry cleaner employees greet you with, "Hey, it's Vomit Man!"
4 - The doorman asks for your I.D. just to see how long it'll take you to find your pants.
3 - Your liver, in a fit of pique, leaps out of your abdominal cavity into a pan of frying onions.
2 - Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the goat.
1 - You're now sober enough to realize "Drink Canada Dry" is a slogan and not a personal challenge.

Drunk Asks a Priest

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man!"

"Well, I'll be damned!" the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I shouldn't have been so unpleasant about it. Tell me, how long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have it, Father -- I was just reading here that the Pope does!"

An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode
on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they
passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking
and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were
right,
so they changed positions. Later, they passed some people that remarked,
"What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both
would walk!
Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid
to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the
donkey. Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how
awful to
put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man said they were probably
right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge,
they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story: If you try to please everyone, you might
as well kiss your ass good-bye.

GBOUTDOORS, I like that one about my Patriots.

Holy cow, I just noticed I have 1005 posts. I gotta stop flapping the keys.

Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."

The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."

Ok thats enough for today I will continue to spam tommorow.

OK - jokes, that'll burn some ones & zeros...

OK - second oldest joke in the world - 90% of the world has heard it:

What's the last thing to go thru a nugs mind when he hits yer windshield???

His A$$...

There once was a man from Nantucket.......

You should have SEX on days that begin with T:

Thanksgiving,

Tuesday,

Thursday,

Today,

Tomorrow,

Thaturday?

Thunday?

Every Th#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&g day!




Sex is:

like Nokia (connecting people)

like Nike (Just do it)

like Pepsi (ask for more)

like Coca Cola (Enjoy)

like me (too good to be true)

FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE-BASHING JOKES

How many men does it take to open a beer? None.
It should be opened by the time she brings it.
--------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman
who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary
things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
--------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
--------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
--------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door,
who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
--------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told.
--------------------
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
--------------------
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.
--------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
--------------------
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
--------------------
Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
--------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and
rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
--------------------
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
--------------------
A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and
said, "I haven't eaten anything for days." She looked at him and said,
"God, I wish I had your willpower."
--------------------
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't
know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: That happens in every country, son.
--------------------
A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: Wife Wanted." The next day
he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
--------------------
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
--------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a
bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

Someone wanna go clue in bassmaster that we're trying to get a "longest thread in history" going? :D:D

The Dog's Funeral
> >
> > Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog
>for
> > company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish
>priest and
> > asked, "Father, me dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for
>the poor
> > creature?"
> >
> > Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services
>for an
> > animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane,
>and
> > there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something
>for the
> > creature."
> >
> > Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is
>enough
> > to donate for the service?"
> >
> > Father Patrick exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why
>didn't ya'
> > tell me the dog was Catholic?"
> >

John was a clerk in a small drugstore, but he was not much of a salesman. He
could never find the item the customer wanted. Bob, the owner, had had about
enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.

Just then a man came in coughing and asked John for their best cough syrup.
Try as he might, John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering Bob's
warning he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once.
The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a
lamp post.

Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired.

"He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I
substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once," John explained.

"Ex-Lax won't cure a cough!" Bob shouted angrily.

"Sure it will," John said, pointing to the man leaning on the lamp post.
"Look at him. He's afraid to cough!"

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several
times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
Holland called Holes?

3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put
your two cents in ... what happens to the other penny?

7. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just
stale bread to begin with?

9. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a
person who drives a race car not called a racist?

11. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

12. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

13. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

14. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

15. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners
depressed?

16. If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

17. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

18. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

19. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot
more as they get older; then it dawned on me. They're cramming for their
final exam.

20. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

21. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while
they deliver the mail?

22. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
others here for?

23. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

24. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

25. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

26. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went
nuts.

27. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

28. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

29. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

30. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
section in a swimming pool?

31. If four out of five people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that
one enjoys it?

You know you’re a Rhode Islander when:

1. You really believed that being the home to “The World’s Largest Shore Dinner Hall” gave the state international prestige.

2. Your father was considered to have a “travelling job” if you lived in Pawtucket and he worked in a factory in East Providence.

3. You spent hours debating whether WPRO or WICE was the better station. If you liked WICE, your favorite expression was “PRO rots”.

4. A gourmet seafood dinner was a bowl of steamers, a “stuffie” and “bake stuff shrimp” at Mama Spumonis.

5. You never understood the odd looks you got when you ordered a meatball grinder and a coffee cabinet at the airport in Atlanta.

6. “Please?” is a question, not a polite request.

7. You know deep in your heart that the PC Friars would’ve whipped the butt of that Walton Gang from UCLA in the NCAAs, if only Marvin didn’t tear his knee up in the semis against Memphis State.

8. The seminal historical event in your life was the Blizzard of ’78.

9. You walk into a black tie affair filled with Hollywood celebs and all living ex-Presidents, and the first words you say to your spouse or date are, “Look, there’s Salty Brine!!”

10. You know there’s a place called Chepachet in your state, but you’ve never been there and only marginally know that it’s “up north somewhere”. See also, Little Compton. Except you know that’s somewhere south.

11. There’s only one beach in the Ocean State worth talking about, and that’s Scahbro. Only tourists from Connecticut and western Mass go to Misquamicut.

12. You’ve drunk 3 Awful-Awfuls just to get the 4th one for free.

13. You know deep inside that if Salty was ever on a private jet with the Pope and the President, and it crashed, the next day’s headline in the Journal would read, “SALTY BRINE, TWO OTHERS PERISH IN PLANE CRASH”

14. You remember leaving a Reds’ hockey game at the old Auditorium with your eyes smarting from the cloud of smoke that obscured the ice from the cheap seats by the start of the third period.

15. Christmas meant going to the old Sears on North Main Street just to see the electric train display.

16. Your Easter clothes always came from Shartenberg’s or The Outlet. Boys sometimes got their suits at Saltzman’s.

17. You lost your cherry in the back seat of dad’s 75 Monte Carlo at the Rustic Drive-In.

18. Thanksgiving high school football games. East Providence vs. LaSalle, Cranston East vs. Cranston West, Pilgrim vs. Vets, St Ray’s vs. Tolman, Cumberland vs. Lincoln, etc. How your team did affected the taste of the turkey.

19. When a tourist asked you where a water fountain was, you directed them to Kennedy Plaza or Slater Park.

20. You remember the FEI Club and Busty Russell. As well as the El Morocco.

21. You still are shocked when you learn that Baskin-Robbins doesn’t sell coffee ice cream.

22. You know how to play Hi-Lo-Jack.

23. Your choice of what 6 PM news broadcast to watch turns on who the weather forecaster is.

24. You know the historical significance of Joe Garrahy’s flannel shirt.

25. You think that New Yorkers actually eat orange hot dogs with ground hamburger on top.

26. “Hi Neighbor, Have a ‘Gansett”.

27. No matter how good the game you were playing as a kid was, you had to be home by 5 to watch Salty Brine’s Shack.

28. Your parents booked a hotel room after a wedding in South Kingstown so they didn’t have to drive “all that way” back to Providence—or even Warwick.

29. Your idea of a mixed marriage is when you wed someone from a different parish.

30. You actually wonder why no one from the Pawtucket Times has ever been considered for a Pulitzer Prize.

31. You’ve heard Salty say “No school, Foster-Glouster” at least 1,000 times in your life.

32. The only trucks and heavy equipment you ever saw doing a highway project were from Campanella and Cardi.

33. You know someone whose distant cousin once actually voted Republican. And that was for Chaffee.

34. You’re convinced that the greatest political orator in recorded human history was John O. Pastore.

35. You know that no big-time sports announcer ever called a game as well as George Patrick Duffy or Chris Clark.

36. You bought your suits from Monticello’s as an adult because that was where Ernie D shopped.

37. Your mother still has pictures of JFK and Pope John XXIII on the mantle.

38. You’d actually consider flying in from Alaska to attend your 8th grade class reunion.

39. You’re considered to be a cosmopolitan man of the world because you know how to get to Fenway Park by car.

40. You fail to see the humor in Don Bosquet’s cartoons.

41. You vote for a convicted felon for your mayor because you really believe that “he never stopped caring about Providence”.

42. You know that the greatest event of the 20th century wasn’t landing on the moon, it was the opening of Foxwoods.

43. You buy 5 loaves of bread and 3 gallons of milk, and top off the tank with $2.75 worth of gas the second one little snowflake falls from the sky.

44. You never realized that no one west of New London, or north of Foxboro, had any idea of who Salty Brine is.

45. Your feelings about Bucky Dent depend on whether you live north or south of Providence, and also on whether your last name ends in a vowel.

46. “You can have all those smarty-pants on the Weather Channel, give me Art Lake anytime”.

47. A big part of your life vanished the day they sold Crescent Park.

48. If you live in certain areas of Providence, or in Lincoln, North Providence or Johnston, you remove your hat whenever Sinatra singing “My Way” comes on the radio.

49. You get that smug satisfaction that having a 3 day weekend in August gives you, especially when you know that no one anywhere else celebrates that holiday.

50. When you finally move into that dream house in South County, your mom in Cranston still calls and asks if you and the entire brood want to come up and stay there, “just in case”, anytime they forecast more than a dusting of snow.

A woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee to follow?" she asks.

He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime, she again asks if he would like something "How about a bowl of homemade soup, homemade muffins, or maybe a cheese sandwich?" she inquires. He declines. "Nope, it's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. She'll go to the store and buy him some food. Would he like maybe a steak and apple pie? Maybe he'd like a pizza microwaved or a tasty stir-fry that would only take a couple of minutes?

He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

"Well," she says, "Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving."

16. Your Easter clothes always came from Shartenberg’s or The Outlet. Boys sometimes got their suits at Saltzman’s. Denise Cheltra and the Apex parkinglot(1969).

17. You lost your cherry in the back seat of dad’s 75 Monte Carlo at the Rustic Drive-In. HMMMMMMMM.

20. You remember the FEI Club and Busty Russell. As well as the El Morocco. Who could not remember Woonsockets finest?

22. You know how to play Hi-Lo-Jack. A Pitch Tourney in CentralFalls(see 16).

25. You think that New Yorkers actually eat orange hot dogs with ground hamburger on top. Nick's or NewYorkLunch.

48. If you live in certain areas of Providence, or in Lincoln, North Providence or Johnston, you remove your hat whenever Sinatra singing “My Way” comes on the radio. And you know when you order a plain pie at Caserta's, not to go back and say "Hey you forgot the cheese!".

Thanks for the memories!

Is this about the most posts in the thread or longest.......nevermind.........dumb question time.

...Alright fellers!!!!!!!!......:D:D:D

.....so where are the ladies??...

Fisherwoman?....Jenn?....

....OX, I was just wondering that myself....:D

...there sure are some loooooooooong posts on here.....
maybe we should cut the jokes in half.....the joke on one post, the punchline on the other....increasing the number of posts...:p

Or we could use this thread as a "Chatroom".....:D


.....John, how does this effect the server??....:confused:


:smash: doesn't this "BOG" it down?....I'm so Green!!!...:bounce: :crying: :as: >>>>>>:gf:

how about the most posts in the shortest amount of time;)

bro crab you still here???

..I LOVE THE JOKES THOUGH!!!!:bl: :btu:

....Copy and Pastem' right into my joke folder!!!....

...thanks fellas.....:)

i hear ya on the jokes, had some really good chuckles tonight. still have a few more. just don't want to get spanked :smash: think i'm gonna wait till i see where the line is drawn.

YA MON!!......I'm here.....:D

.....hey, Red.....wasn't that one of the Greatest SuperBowls you ever seen?....:D:D:D

....not that it had anything to do with the fact that it was the Patriots....;)

AAAAh.......a quick F5 to refresh the screen.....and I'm off to the races again......


.......Hey, I went with my honey....to Foxwoods this past weekend....:D I like to gamble....unfortunately:rolleyes: ....(for fun mainly of course...;) )

....I promised her I'd stay away from the tables....She wanted to try Bingo for the first time...I laughed about it, but.....it actually was fun.....The odds aren't bad.

.. Meaning, you pay your $20 entry fee....and you play for about 4 hours....with the chance of winning a Grand prize of $25,000....and a bunch of $5,000---down to $1,000 pots.....

......all in all.....it was A-OK!!!.....

and then.......yep, there's more...:D

the whole season was FAN tastic, the last 4-5 games were incredible. the emotion that this team brought out in me was insane. my wife and i screamed, cried, and i think i almost hurled once during the raiders game. i'd have to say the closest thing i can relate it too would be my first daughters birth, or the first deer i shot.

...There's also a certain Bingo game.....where the winner gets to go into a telephone booth-type chamber.....thats like a wind tunnel.....with $$$$$$$cash flying around everywhere....:D:D

.....heres the catch, after you catch the bills flying around in the booth, you have to force them through a slot in one of the panes, and the slot isn't that wide....so you can't force too many bills through at once......


......GUESS WHO WON THAT GAME???....:af: :smash:


...a Seventy year old woman!!!.....nothing against that, but......:happy: :happy: ...it always seems to happen that way...


.....psssssst...she didn't catch many Bills.....:( :(

...not too sound too girly about the SuperGame!!!......

..but I actually felt tears rolling down my cheeks, just talking about it !!!...(speakin of emotions)....:eek:


.....I was Hoarse up until Tuesday!!!.....kinda felt like I had flu like symtoms...

.....lotta yellin and screamin!!

.....Yaaaaaaaaaaahooooooooooo!!!!!!......

C'mon Red.....keep up!!! ....;)

....I'm out-postin' ya......:D

welllll, 4 am comes early, and i am so backed up at work. been fighting off a stupid stomach virus my kids brought home from school. could have only imagined what it would have been like if i had gotten inside that money tube. gotta be a system for grabbin the dough. pee on it so they don't want it back....

i'll be high from the pats for quite a while. heard the season opener is gonna be a monday night game against the steelers

...To finish up my Foxwoods trip.......:D

....we had gone up with another couple....

....neither of us had any luck with the Bingo, but on the way out....my friends wife asked if I minded if she dropped 6 single dollar bills...in a slot machine....

.....:D:D of course I didn't mind, seeing a chance to do a little more gambling myself.....:D


....GOOD THING!!!!.....we both walked out winners!!!....she played a quarter machine....and won back enough money to cover the Bingo fees...and the Buffet.....for her and her hubby

....and I got lucky too....I sat at a Dollar machine, won enough to cover my expenses for the night......plus $30 :)

.....I left a satisfied man, :rolleyes: ...well you know what I mean. I WAS THE SATISFIED MAN!!....I didn't mean, "left a man" like I was talking about another man....ummm....YOU GOT IT RIGHT?..

....ok, enough on this post.....:p

.....Red, funny you mentioning a stomach virus....:mad:


...it ran through a bunch of my family members too.....

.....starting off with my nephew and goddaughter, bringing it home from Elementary school.....


....it stayed with them for about 4 days....then my brother got it....:mad: :mad: ...and BOY DID HE STINK!!!


...I pity his wife...:D:D

yeah i got it.... you miss tattoo. don't be ashamed we all share in your pain here;) have a good night bloo

.....John better call a doctor!!!!!!!!......

...I think page 5 of this thread ......ummmm....


HAS GOT A CASE OF THE CRABS!!!!!


:laughs: :laughs: :gf: :gf:

Tattoo.....WHO???....

....does he still post on here?...:rolleyes:

Ok....Red......G'-nite...:(

http://striped-bass.com/images/crabby.jpg

...A CHUNKERS' NIGHTMARE........


....A BLOOOO SPIDERCRAB!!!!....:eek: :eek:

http://striped-bass.com/images/bloo/bluecrab1.jpg

....THIS NEXT CRAB + a size 4/0 hook + 3 - 4 oz. sinker =


...TAUTOG!!


http://striped-bass.com/images/bloo/j20401.jpg

....Remember those nights when you couldn't keep a chunk on for NO time at all...???

....and ya asked yourself, "How the heck can they clean my hook so fast?"

.....here's your answer..:D:D
.
.
..
.
.
.
.



http://striped-bass.com/images/bloo/whathappened1.jpg

....:af: I can't seem to put page 5 to rest!!!......

....ok....you asked for it!!!.....:af:

:laughs:

...check out the name of this "crab" shack....:D

...they kind of go together, don't they?...:eek:


http://striped-bass.com/images/bloo/crabshack1.jpg

...I thought I was BAD!!:eek:

...Can you believe theres a crab on the "TOP TEN MOST WANTED" LIST???...:eek: :eek:


.....Yessiree!!.....THE "CHINESE MITTEN CRAB"....


-------ENVIRONMENTAL PROBLEMS----------

...Since 1990 increasing numbers of mitten crabs have been collected from the intake screens from Lots Road power station, Chelsea. These records indicate that Eriocheir sinensis is now well established in the River Thames and the population is probably increasing. In fact anecdotal evidence suggests that population numbers of this crab in the Thames have increased dramatically in recent years. If continued, such an increase in the Thames Chinese mitten crab population could have potentially harmful environmental effects.

The mitten crab is known to burrow into river banks and therefore may represent a hazard to river and other freshwater engineering projects. The crab is capable of emerging from water and crossing dry land to enter new river systems. This invasion could eventually threaten freshwater habitats currently occupied by populations of our native crayfish Austropotamobius pallipes.

Can You Help?

Our research is ongoing so therefore we would be most grateful for your help. Examples of the type of information we want to know are:


Where and when was the crab seen or caught?
Did you see any other crabs in the same area?
Were they alive or dead?
Do you know what sex they were?
(Males have a V-shaped abdomen and females have a U-shaped abdomen)
What was their approximate size?

--------------------------------------------------------

.....According to what I read, they're invading the West Coast right now!!!...

oh.....you wanna know what it looks like?.....:D

ok....


http://striped-bass.com/images/bloo/trouble.gif

.....DO THEY KNOW ABOUT THE EAST COAST ......."SHERRIF"??...:D


http://striped-bass.com/images/bloo/lap_chinner.gif

......OK already, I'm goin to bed.......zzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

....but before I go......I'm leaving a challenge behind!....

...page 5 belonged to the Crab family.....:p


.........BEAT IT!! ..:D:D:beat: :bshake: :bo: :hf1: :jump1: :hf1: :jump1:

Wow, this reall is going to be the longest thread in the history fo the known universe.

Thanks, bloo you seem to be doing your fair share on this one........

On a more serious note how about the projo article on the Russian factory ships buying the "underutilzed" herring and mackerel from local fishermen.

Is there any bycatch and who is monitoring what gets processed?

Aren't herring and mackerel forage species for the recovering Cod fishery??

Will these "farmers of the sea" ever fertilize and plant new crops or are they really "miners of the sea"????

When was the Projo article? I'd like to check it out...


Maybe you could visit the TWO Ocean going Russian ships over by the Jamestown Bridge....

Just think, two dilipidated & rusty ships, probably built by the same vodka swillin' docks that built the Nuclear powered Kirov class missile cruiser, swaying at anchor just a couple miles from the Naval War College... I wonder how many Lt. Commanders over in Newport have wondered about lobbing a harpoon or two across Jamestown....

Apparently, they are after the searun herring. They get ground up and Flash Frozen and "supposedly" carried to an even bigger ship offshore to get back to Mother Russia... They also have a lot of people tweaked by the noise (they are very loud) and by their less than efficient engines billowing smoke...

As far as the, err, quality of the jokes in this thread - how about nothing that would make you blush if yer kid overheard it and asked for clarification - if you don't have a kid, pretend.... :smash: :smash:

Uh oh!!! They're comming!!!
http://striped-bass.com/images/new/martian.gif http://striped-bass.com/images/new/fsniper.gif

http://striped-bass.com/images/new/blueflag.gif

http://striped-bass.com/images/new/buzz_saw.gif

Just incase you did not know by now what a striper is or looks like I took this from the pages of McClane's New Standard Fishing Encyclopedia.

Striped Bass (Morone saxatilis)
An important marine gamefish which belongs to the family Percichthyidae. Regionally known as the rockfish (south of New Jersey) and infrequently called squidhound or greenhead, the striper is easily identified.
The trunk of the striped bass is 31/2-4 times as long(to the base of the caudal fin) as it is deep. It has a long head,a moderately pointed snout, and a projecting lower jaw. The two dorsal fins are about of equal length, and both are triangular in outline; these fins are separated. Although the color may vary, as a rule the striped bass is dark olive-green (hence the name greenhead) to steelblue or almost black above, becoming silvery on the sides and white on the belly. The sides have 7-8 longitudinal dark stripes which follow the scale rows; 3-4 stripes are above the lateral line, one on it, and three below it. the upper stripes are the longest and may reach to the caudal fin. The stripes are often interrupted or broken and are usually absent on young fish less than 6 inches. There is little chance of confusing striped bass of over 10 inches with any other species of fish along the Atlantic or Pacific coasts. The prominent stripes, separated dorsal fins, and the general outline are unique. In the young specimens of less than 7 inches it may be difficult to distinguish the striped bass from the related white perch. However, the dorsal fins of the white perch are connected.
The striped bass of the Atlantic coast has an extreme range from the Gulf of St. Lawrence to the St. Johns River in northern Florida and in the Gulf of Mexico from western Florida to Louisiana. The center of abundance appears to be from South Carolina to Massachusetts. On the Pacific Coast, where it was introduced in 1886, the extreme range is from the Columbia River in Washington, to Los Angeles, California. The present center of abundance on the Pacific Coast is in the San Francisco Bay region. The fish are coastwise in distribution, and are rarely taken more than a few miles offshore. The striped bass is anadromous and is found in fresh- and brackish water, with preference shown for bays, deltas, and estuarine areas. It exists as a landlocked form also, notably in the Southeast Atlantic states.


If need be I would be glade to post a few pictures for you so there will be no mistakes made while out fishing as to what it is you are after.:smash: :smash:

well that leaves me out of the joke frackas !

but I have these really strange thoughts running thru

my mind that I dont mind sharing !

1000 posts !!! Bruce we need to talk , You spend way to much time on the net punching keys . Like I should talk !

my first randoom thought is :

and my second random thought is :

my third random thought is : are you my mommy ?

No , are you my mommy ?

Uhh http://striped-bass.com/images/new/iamwithstupid.gif

sorry.... http://striped-bass.com/images/new/bowdown.gif

Damn, It's Good to Be a Man!

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too
"yucky."

Same work ... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything
different?"

One mood, ALL the damn time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your
friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.

You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without
thinking: "He must be mad at me."

You don't mooch off other's desserts.

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th,
in 45 minutes.

Damn, it's Good to be a Man

OK one more and I need to get back to work http://striped-bass.com/images/new/fart.gif

*********************

GIRL POWER!

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game,
while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the
summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the
beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the
spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting
Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen- had to
be a girl.

We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in
a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

* 1 star hangover
No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 cokes and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a
steak sandwich and a side order of gravy fries from any motorway cafe.

** 2 star hangover
No pain. Something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a MacDonalds breakfast. Last night has wreaked havoc on your
bowels and even though you have a nice demeanor about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is surfing internet porn and writing junk e-mails.

*** 3 star hangover
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space shot and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer chucked you out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if
you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a steak sub watching the Q awards.
You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 Snapples and a litre of diet coke - yet you haven't peed once.

**** 4 star hangover
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that
can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars) your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a retard. You would shoot your mother for one or all of the following
1. the clock to strike 6pm
2. the entire appetizer list from TGIFridays or
3. a time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.

***** 5 star hangover, aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell
You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually annoying the employee who sits at the next desk. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take
the last of the moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is bitch about your state - which is a
mystery to you because you definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank and why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed, unaccompanied, at your house. You lose your nice jacket at the bar. The only thing you can do is smoke a spliffand pass out. It's when you wake
up a few hours later with a lesser star hangoverthat you eat a large pizza, an order of Tandoori Chicken, a ham and cheese omelet and a batch of Cadbury's chocolate. And everything is OK.

"Any of the above sound familiar"?

Check out this link if you have trouble remembering phone numbers, pehaps your own?

http://www.phonespell.org/

ICE

:p

Let's get this thread at least above 100 -

99 and counting!!!

Here's a question:

Valentine's Day - is a a real holiday or a commercial creation to get consumer's to buy really expensive flowers?

What's the best Valentine's Day present you gave/got?

How the heck can I answer that question properly ??

http://striped-bass.com/images/new/boxing_smiley.gif http://striped-bass.com/images/new/troutslap.gif http://striped-bass.com/images/new/1poke.gif

run away from it John ! RUN NOW !!!!

Here are some Rally Pics from Tuesday: http://www.boston.com/images/sports/patriots/rally_1_1024.jpg

To the Better Half:

Was reading some sort of survey in the NY Post (aka Nat'l Enquirer) and they said the best gift a man would want for V-Day above all else is a six pack of beer. Maybe throw in a plug?

Iceman

Testing 1-2-3, Ice is conducting a test to get his Avatar back - I miss the Viking
:af: :smash:

I have way too much time on my hands this morning, hope I got my avatar back??
:drool:

I'm back - had to send a friend to sea, what a display of light!!

:happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:

Is the longest thread anything like the longest string? A string infinitely long could be rolled up into a ball of infinite size. Since thread is thinner than string , how large a ball would an infinitely long thread form when rolled up into a ball? :confused:

Uhh, what's wrong with your avatar? I see it just fine...

Is "The Longest String" a suitable replacement for "The Longest Yard"? Probably not, but "The Longest Day" was an incredible movie - whaddya think??

Was is as good as the movie Dog Day Afternoon or U2's song Beautiful Day or the saying every dog has it's day or the acress Doris Day, speaking of Day's - it is Friday yet???

Some days you're the dog and some days you're the hydrant!

Don't eat yellow snow...

Hard Times

A bum, who obviously has seen more than his share of hard times, approaches a well dressed gentleman on the street. "Hey, Buddy, can you spare two dollars?"

The well-dressed gentleman responds, "You are not going to spend it on hunting are you?"

"No, sir, I don't hunt," retorts the bum.

"You are not going to throw it away on fishing trips, are you?" asks the gentleman.

"No way, I don't fish," answers the bum.

"You wouldn't waste the money buying a big pick-up, would you?" asks the man.

"Never," says the bum, "I don't want an truck."

The man asks the bum if he would like to come home with him for a home cooked meal. The bum accepts eagerly. While they are heading for the man's house, the bum's curiosity gets the better of him. "Isn't your wife going to be angry when she sees a guy like me at your table?"

"Probably," says the man, "but it will be worth it. I want her to see what happens to a guy who doesn't hunt, fish or drive a truck."

Tattoo is that you???? no thats a tattoo wanabe!

http://striped-bass.com/images/0686.jpg

Ok what is it????


http://striped-bass.com/images/0687.jpg

Glad to see that we're moving along so well. Any ideas on how our competition is doing?????

Well - we're getting spanked a little by this gaming site (well, I think that's what it is: http://forums.interealms.com/ranger/index.php

Right now - they have 1300+ replies in about 23 hours - but we got a chance http://striped-bass.com/images/new/fight.gifhttp://striped-bass.com/images/new/fart.gifhttp://striped-bass.com/images/new/flame.gif


But they have:
Registered Members: 7,274
20,440 threads in total
215,758 posts in total

compared to our:
Members: 441,
Threads: 2,591,
Posts: 20,023

HEY - BUT WE DID BREAK 20,000 Posts - Great Work guys & gals... And we didn't need Patrick to do it ;)

Well, lets keep it going.

Hey they got a Salty there too :)

Ok, keep going folks, you'll catch up to Saltheart and I soon.

GB,

He's just another guy stalking me......

Wow!!...the 9th Wonder of the World speaks!!!.......

hey......iz ya cravin' pickles and mustard yet?.....:happy:

......Peeek a Bloooo......I see you!!!......


http://striped-bass.com/images/bloo/peep.gif

...There's a new one in progress....


.....I heard S-B hired a six figure chemist to produce some kinda new "Striper-Attractant"....

......I'm gonna sneak into headquarters....and see if I can get a "doodle" of this ...so called chemist!!...:D

Nope, no weird craving YET! The sad thing is she LOVES PICKLES to begin with......so I wonder if they make a refreid bean ice cream.....:confused:


....and that other guy ain't got nuthin' on me!


http://striped-bass.com/images/tattoo.jpg

that picture must have been taken after lunch......the water's so dang dirty.....:D:D

.....hey Tat, Im curious.....

who's the Artist behind that skin flick?....:confused:

...the other day, the day of the other was the one who made a post that followed a day of posting on a different day....so which day is different when you post on that day, that followed the post of the day?....:smash:

.....ok, I can't make sense, thats why I'm still lookin for work....:D

...Wow Slip, I only have about 600 more to go!!!!!!!!!

...or is that 599...??.....:D

...I have an idea.....:laughs:

....Ummmmm.......I forget so darn fast!!!......:smash:

......ummm.......John.....where do you have the pictures of the Plug thingy.....at Slip's house.....???

....when I go into the search screen, what do I punch in ???.....


.....I tried "front page"....because I thought I remembered you saying you had a new frontpage layout, and a couple of pictures were on it......One of a Handsome Crab!!!....:D:D:D

....kiddin of course, I was just wondering what ever happend to em'....


..Thanks in advance.

.....ummm somebody stop me please!!!.....I'm dominating page 9!!...and I'm not into Dominatrix Stuff!!....:rolleyes:

...hee hee hee......Scratch that....


...page 9 is history. :D

I got about another half hour.....:D


....page 10......open up, HERE I COME!!!....

....Just a little heads up for any "bootleggers" out there.....

....I heard that the new XP- OS...has a radio button that sends a signal back to you know who.....ratting you out!!!.....so watch out!!!.....

......

http://striped-bass.com/images/bloo/zrat_food_lg_clr.gif

...Guess Who???.....:D:D

...hey John, or anyone else who can help me on this one......


....I've figured out how to "attach" an image with the Browse at the bottom of the screen....but how do you use the other feature??....so it doesn't say......

"Blah Blah Blah, has attached this image:" :rolleyes:


....I'm thinking you have to type in the full path of the picture from your CPU....but can someone please give me a play by play on how...I'm soooooooo......GREEN!!

.....one more thing...:

....If you would, I'd appreciate it if you did it like this......

..."I have my pictures stored in the MY DOCUMENTS folder, under the MY PICTURES folder.....so what I type in is.....blah blah blah.."

...know what I mean?....

....Sometimes I need to be held by the hand.....;)

.......Or the claws!.....;)


....ummm.....I was also wondering, how many posts does it take to fill a page?....:D

....I'm guessing it depends on the size of each post eh?...:D

...Aren't you guys sick of seeing that Bloocrab Icon on the side of your screen???.....

...Feel free to jump in anytime!!!.....:af:

....Ok, back to a serious note.......


LA !

JR......why don't hte post numbers advance?
Bloocrab has 21 posts in a row and it only advances him 1.

......What da ya mean I CAN'T DRINK DURING "MY" NINE MONTHS!!!.....


http://striped-bass.com/images/bloo/ttbby.jpg

....THANKS FOR BREAKING THIS UP OX....:D


...I was wondering that myself, I think it takes time to replicate to the server.......:D LIKE I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT....HA!...

....its OK though, I aint' lookin for numbers, just having some fun...

......Ummm, by the way.....Tattoo...

..I WANT MY SHIRT BACK, WHEN YOUR THROUGH WITH IT!!!

YEAH, OK BRUCE........DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU WERE SAFE???


......:D:D:D.....:rolleyes: :laughs:

http://striped-bass.com/images/bloo/slpbby.jpg

.....anyone else Daring enough to post a picture on here?...:D....


.......hmmmmmmmmm....let me check the Acrhives....hee hee hee

....UH OH......:D:D


......I found this on another site, before he became the infamous BassMaster....

....he was known as .........

......FLASHMASTER!!! .....;):D:happy: :happy:


http://striped-bass.com/images/bloo/flashmaster.jpg

.....Somewhere Over the Rainbow.......Stripers are thinking about coming back here....:p :p


.....HURRY HURRY HURRY!~!!!!.......HEY GOTSTRIPES, YOU STILL CATCHIN?......:happy:

:( ...Yeah, I know......I'm NO Luke....but, hey.....I'm just tryin to put some smiles out there......


.....OK....Gotta go.....someone else take over....:D....But leave me out of it!!!......LOLOL......


...Besides, the half hour I talked about earlier is waaaaay over!!....:smash: :eek: .....sheeeeeeehs, time flys on here!!!....

:mad: :mad: :mad:


......I'm DISAPPOINTED!!!!.....


I just backed up to the Main Page....and 5 other members were listed!!!......and NO replys to my silly A$$ posts.....:mad: :mad:


.....SHEESH!! you guys got any sense of humor, or what???....:p


......Don't ya ever do anything SILLY???....:p :p


.....I EVER TELL YOU GUYS......

I WAS THE AFTER HOURS......HOOLA HOOP CHAMPION???....:D


http://striped-bass.com/images/bloo/gp_hula.jpg

BLA BLA BLA. This is getting BOARING:laughs:


http://striped-bass.com/images/gb_boar.jpg

Lets see we have 155 posts to this thread and 755 views. If every one that views posts we would be doing great. Lets go posts are just as easy as views. But then some just like to watch:eek: :eek: :eek:

Hey GB.......I got an idea.......


.....Of the guys on the CH list, who-ever doesn't post at least.....ummmm 25 times:eek: ......which isn't much :p ....by say ummmm.......TOMORROW!!!.....Kick em' off the Boat!!....:D



......and of the Fellas who are going to the Reeel Deeel, the same "threat"....:D...BUT!!......If your going to attend both of them....you have to double up on the posts!!.....:D



......How's that for MOTIVATION?....:eek: :rolleyes: :chased: :hf1: :jump1: :laugha:

...Its about 3/4 of an hour to Low tide, I arrive on the rocks....carefully place my equipment down as I take the last sip of coffee. (I can't drink coffee while fishing:confused: ..always afraid of wasting time!!)...I cautiously slide down towards the seaweed covered rocks, to where the mussel beds start. I then proceed to stomp some of the mussel bed sections....(these are those tiny mussels that grow like algae;))....I try to do it where the tide is going to help me out. Meaning the last 3/4 hr. of the outgoing tide will hopefully be enough to send the "flavour" of the mussel beds to the depths where "MY" fish are...
......I then proceed to start cutting some crabs

...back to the mussel beds. There are much more than just mussels being crushed here. There is a vast amount of life and "SCENT" that I'm intending to use as attractant. Some of you will probably think that I'm hurting the Ecological System, but any kind of natural bait...is effecting it in some way. Feel free to express your feelings on this.

Bloocrab, LMAO those are funny.

Good job.
Now , you need to get paid for that stuff.
maybe there's an opening at a cartoon place.
I have a neighbor that wants to start his own comic book but now his job is tileman's helper. He once worked with me , he ahs talent and you do too.

...Ok .....so now I grab my coffee cup (yeah, I know I said I'm done drinking when I arrive to fish)....but shut up and listen!!:D

....If there is any coffee remaining, its dumped out. I save the cup for my next exercise. An exercise I wish many other anglers would adopt. I place the cup in a secure location and cut my crabs above it. Trying to get as many of the legs into the cup as possible. The ones that don't make it, get picked up and dropped inside. You don't know how many times I've arrived at my destination....(:D "my destination"..like I'm gonna tell you where!:p )...and there are crab legs all over the rocks and surrounding areas :af:
...Some Idiots tend to think that just because they came from a crab, they're not littering. NOT TRUE!!...Its bad enough many fishermen/fisherwomen discard they're Hook Cartons, Dunkin' Donut cups...plastic crab bags, etc...etc... I could go on....but SHEEEEEESH!!!!.....you'd think they would have the common sense to know that they're wasting "CHUM"....

Originally posted by bloocrab
......What da ya mean I CAN'T DRINK DURING "MY" NINE MONTHS!!!.....

Ah HA, I see there's a little controversy in the Tattoo household. What a good husband giving up drinking while the wife has to :)
Ya get any sympathy morning sickness yet? :D

...YOU THINK I'M NUTS??...DO YA?....:D

...I can't say how many times, just for arguements sake...I've tested my theory by leaving or actually hooking a leg or two on my hook, just to see the effect.


.....HELLO MR. TAUTOG!!......


....trust me, throw the legs into the Ocean!!!....for one, the land owners will appreciate it:rolleyes: or at least the place will look that much more cleaner. And two, it won't hurt, only help your chances of getting fish.

Originally posted by bloocrab
...I've tested my theory by leaving or actually hooking a leg or two on my hook,....


If your reading this carefully, which your NOT!....you would have noticed that I said that sometimes I leave the legs on. That is when the bite is slow, I feel it helps a bit. Kind of like wiggling a lure, I believe the legs help entice the fish. But when they're biting, I chop the legs off. I don't want the fish pulling on the legs while I'm pulling on the rod....know what I mean?...:D

...:smash: :happy: :laughs: The second reason that I sometimes leave the legs on ......is



....LAZINESS!!!

.....sometimes when the bite is heavy...and I go through crabs quickly....I just grab a crab quickly and split em' down the middle..and on the hook he goes. But if I start missin' fish.....OFF WITH THEIR LEGS!!.....

...sorry for boring you guys/gals with my story, but when I posted the Sherrif picture of the tautog in a previous post. It got me daydreaming of goin' for Tautog!!.....and then GB posted that enormous Boar, and don't ask me why....but, it reminded me of a Tautog too....

......do you think its cabin fever setting in??....:cool:

...ummmm.....ya ever get the feeling your talking to yourself???...



:D:D.....:chatter :chatter :crying: :chatter :chatter :jester:

Bruce, the only comment that she made was about the last 10 hour drink-o-thon I went on with HABS and FISH-EYE at the last BLOOOOOOOOBERRY social.......it was something about being gone for twelve hours.....I can't remember...:smash:

Originally posted by OX
JR......why don't hte post numbers advance?
Bloocrab has 21 posts in a row and it only advances him 1.

I believe you are correct sir. They all changed from 358 to 377.

heck tough enough playing catch up with this thread. anyone out there ever break an ugly stik, and if so where did you go to have it replaced. took mine back to walmart with the reciept, but they said it had been to long since i had purchased it. (last summer) guess i'm gonna shoot a email off to shakespear and see what they have to say???

...believe it or not Red, you might be better off buying a new one...:(


...a friend called them up once and he said the price was close enough to a new one, with the shipping and handling...but thats just "here-say"...when you find out, could ya let me know....I got a couple of "uglies" myself....(none broken yet, but ya never know)....

...Thanks...

...Good News!!!!!........


I just heard there's a Blitz goin on!!!!.......HURRY!!! RUN!!!....

:D :D :D


....OOOOOOOH, I'M LIKIN THIS WAAAAY TOO MUCH!!!....:D:D

...I hope y'all has a cents a huma....;) :D

http://striped-bass.com/images/bloo/tattoorun.jpg

my new one was fine till i tried to knock over the stone wall with it and lost. guess it might just end up being a 10'5" surf pole.
did you hear the latest ...they signed charlie wiess to another 2 years as offensive co-ordinator for the pats. really thought he was gonna go to the bucs.

Is everyone else as glade as I am the Bloo does not have a picture of you. Great stuff Bloo !!:laughs: :laughs: :laughs:

I went to CMS the other day and ordered a new rod for my 6500C3. I have never used superbraids but think I will try some on the new rig. Who likes what and what is the down side???

Originally posted by Tattoo
Bruce, the only comment that she made was about the last 10 hour drink-o-thon I went on with HABS and FISH-EYE at the last BLOOOOOOOOBERRY social.......it was something about being gone for twelve hours.....I can't remember...:smash:

Yep, I'm sure you can't remember :rolleyes:

GB, first this is probably not the best thread to ask questions, they may get lost in the sauce.

If you have not fished braid before, I would suggest Fireline. It was the first braid I tried, it helped in the distance of my casts and it's characteristics are not that far from mono other than the no-stretch and ya have to use a palomar knot.
Fireline is not actually a braid, it's micro-dyneema. But it still has very little stretch. Once it is broken in it gets softer and turns whiter. I would start with 20 lb then maybe try 14 lb for that 6500 reel.

I still use fireline 14 lb for surf fishing and I use whiplash 65lb for jigging the canal.

so what kind of rod and what blank did ya order anyway?

Thanks Slip I was leaning twards the Fireline. I posted this here in hopes that we would get some others to post as everyone has their favorite line but looks like it did not work. Have you been to the new Dunkin Donuts on 28 yet. Just finished that one and are now doing one over in Lakeville off 105.

have not been to the new one yet, I don't drink coffee.

You are the first woodworker I have known that does not drink coffee. Seems some days all I do is have coffee with one customer after another. Try that and drive around all day makes for lots of stops along the way.:err:

Well as far as braid goes I have never used it. I just picked up some Whiplash about a week ago and plan on using it for pluggin. Hopefully it works out well! I tried a few test casts and it workes great.




ONE QUESTION!!!!!!

I put the line on and didn't put enough backing so i have over an 1/8" left on the spool do you thin I should wind it on another spool than put more back and rewind again?? or will that mess up the line!!!!

thanks


this will prolly get lost but atleast I am added to the thread

I LOVE TOG

Speakin of TOG and braid I think I will try this whiplash stuff instead of 30lb mono. Will help me horse up some of the fatties. 60lb Mono leader with the 80lb braid should work wonders! I'll be pulling up rocks and tog!

holy smokes! looks like I have been missing all the fun around here lately!!!!!

If I am not mistaken somewhere WAY back dsomeone asked where the girls were....well here I am but I dunno where FW is......HA! I actually beat her at something .....magine that!

once upon a time there was a girl named Jenn....she was afraid to stick around this place because she was afraid of getting CRABS!!!

there sure are a lotta crabs round here...

sorry couldnt help myself:rolleyes:

where is my fellow loosah girl?:eek:

C:\My Documents\looser girls.jpg

..GB,........I've tried a few braids and chose Fireline as my favorite, for now....;)

...The PowerPro is too.....ummm.....fickle, I like the way Fireline "loosens" up after usage. The PowerPro can be a tad bit messier at times....

...Like Slip said, start with the 20...and work your way down. Either way, you'll notice a BIG difference with your casts...:D

....I won't say its like Night and Day.......its more like Midnight and Noon......;)

.it almost feels like the times when you whip something out there...and the line busts, and it justs keeps on sailing and sailing...:D


The Key is:....make sure it stays wrapped around the spool tightly!!!.....One bad loop somewhere in your spool..and :( YOU'RE IN TROUBLE......same thing with a knot, eh Slip?..:eek: slipknot, knotslip....cast it out and let it rip!!.....:D

:af: ...somebody post a picture of Jenn for me....I'LL FIX HER LITTLE RED WAGON!!!:af:


.....Pickin' on us crabs!!!.......:D:D









Welcome back Jenn!!......where ya been hidin???....:D:D

Got pulled away in the middle of a reply about 15 hours ago. I think we can make it.....

No not picking on crabs....they are great with some melted butter....mmmmmmmm.......;)

been hiding in northern Vt filling my need for speed!( snowmobiling is how I fill the winter months....)

as far as the little red wagon????? hmmm...I dunno.....;) :p :p

Originally posted by AnthonyN
Well as far as braid goes I have never used it. I just picked up some Whiplash about a week ago and plan on using it for pluggin. Hopefully it works out well! I tried a few test casts and it workes great.




ONE QUESTION!!!!!!

I put the line on and didn't put enough backing so i have over an 1/8" left on the spool do you thin I should wind it on another spool than put more back and rewind again?? or will that mess up the line!!!!

thanks


this will prolly get lost but atleast I am added to the thread



Anthony, your best bet for that would be to wind it on to an extra spool if you have one then do like you said and put more backing on.
I thought an 1/8" was good, do you want it to be 1/16" instead?

In the future you could start with the extra spool first working backwards, much easier.

I buy 1000 yds so I re-spool and don't worry untill the last spooling.

Hi Jenn :D

Hi Jenn http://striped-bass.com/images/new/mosher.gif

http://striped-bass.com/images/new/iamwithstupid.gif For all of the people that think we've gone simply bonkers on this thread, I just wanted to repost why we're doing this


There is a competition amongst other people that use the same message board program as we do here at S-B. It started a couple days ago and for Grins & Giggles, I figured we could jump in too. Now there is no prize and I won't get a gold star on my forehead if we join in but I figured - Why Not?


Below are the rules that were put together by the guy who started this competition.

So do we have a chance of winning? Hell no! Some of these sites have more users than we do posts but I think we can be a little respectable



quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A bit of fun, Longest Thread Competition (post #1)

I was thinking that we would have a bit of fun on out forums, and start a "Longest Thread Competition"

The idea is that you start a thread on your site called "The Longest Thread in History" like I have done here, and then try and make it longer than anyone else’s forums longest thread (if you know what I mean).

The topic of the thread is open to what anyone wants to talk about, for example we have played word games, asked random questions, discussed the weather, and just had a really good time.

I guess that because this is not going to be anything more than a bit of fun, we only need a few rules, but here they are:

1, The longest thread must be a new thread started when you enter the competition.
2, The thread must be named "The Longest Thread in History".
3, once you have started your thread, you must post a link to it here.
4, the competition starts as soon as you post your link.
5, You can talk about whatever you want but dont post short messages only like smilies or "k".
6, the competition ends in one month - 4th March 2002, (so you had better enter quick)

Now I fully admit that I've got a bit of a head start on you guys, but my forum is so small that it would be EASY for you guys to catch up with me, and just think of the appraisal when you over take the guy that started this competition.

Now after all, this is nothing more than a bit of fun, so there will be no prizes other than an announcement on my forum stated that you have won (I personally will not be entering the competition because I’ll be moderating it)

And remember, as they used to say on The Big Breakfast, "Don't phone in, it's just for fun".

On your marks, Get set, GO!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

....Jenn, my last snowmobiling trip was a FLOP!!!.....We had called up for reservations, and were told that we wouldn't be needing any......to just "come on up"....

.....So we did, we "came on up"....and when we got there we figured we'd go early, so we beat the owners to the shop. When the finally opened the doors up we hurried inside and said "2 snow mobiles, please"...
....they asked, "Do you have reservations?"....
:af: :af:

we said, "No, when we called up, we were told that we didn't need any!"

..."Oh yes, of course you do" said the clerk...."Who did you speak to when you called up?"...the clerk asked.

:af: :af:

..."Whomever answers your phones!!!"....we answered.

...He said "well, why don't you wait a little while and see if we have any NO SHOWS"....

.....so we waited...:smash: :af: :smash: :af:

.....EVERYONE SHOWED UP !!!!......OF COURSE.....and so we wasted the morning and any chance of gettting any rentals anywhere else that day...:af: ....NEVER AGAIN!!....I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE RESERVATIONS NEXT TIME!!!....

...We ended up on SNOW TIRES for the afternoon, which turned out to be more FUN than I thought......:D



.....except for walking back up that friggin hill, everytime!!!...:rolleyes:




:smash: :smash: :smash: :smash: :happy: :af:


......AAAAAAAh, the lessons life teaches us........they're endless...:happy:

DANG I thought we were doing this caause there was a therapist monitoring us .

Is it FRIDAY or am I a knucklehead ?
where is BM ? this is his kind of thread !

BM is on a cyber vacation at the moment... Let's let him recharge his batts for a while...

We could always turn this into THE we want BM back.


WE WANT BM BACK:happy:

Woo Hoo!!! 200 replies (122 from Bloo ;) )

ok Company policy:

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang
a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a
monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as
he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same
result all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when
another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent
it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage
and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to
climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys
attack him.

After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to
climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it
with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The
previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!

Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a
fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the
stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea
why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are
participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining
monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever
again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as
far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.

...And that's how company policy begins

Originally posted by Slipknot



Anthony, your best bet for that would be to wind it on to an extra spool if you have one then do like you said and put more backing on.
I thought an 1/8" was good, do you want it to be 1/16" instead?

In the future you could start with the extra spool first working backwards, much easier.

I buy 1000 yds so I re-spool and don't worry untill the last spooling.

I got an extra spool for my reel so it will make it easier. I want to get it almost right to the edge I figure I can get 10 more yard on there. I figure i want this braid to last all season without respooling and I figure I will lose at least 20 yard by the end of the season from cutting off damaged line and you always lose a few inches while tieing knots so the little extra would be good.

....Anthony, if you fill that baby to the edge....:p ...you're gonna be losing a lot more than 20 yards.....the first few times


....if you got an 1/8 of an inch to the edge, thats ok.....play with that for now......LEARN YOUR BRAID!!....thats important. There are nooks and crannies about Braid that you'll only learn as you use it...don't be too concerned with getting it to the edge.....

.....just my opinion of course......:D

......Sorry John.....didn't mean to be posting so much.....:(

......John, have you read all my posts?

........so where can I find those Plug Party pictures???......:D


.....I think there's one of you in there......right?....:eek: :D

....and whats the answer to the other question, I asked about???...



.....If nobodys even reading my posts..........



............................WHY BOTHER???............................


:smash: :( :mad: :smash: :confused: :cool: :happy:

.....SOMEBODY, ANYBODY............EVERYBODY..........



SCREAM!!!!!!!



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

HAPPY BLOO????

:jump: /B sea-green

......is there a fine for having tooooo many posts?..........

All I know is : Im going to a party , im going to a party at slips house next Saturday .

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn in her wheel chair where the
activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't
talk very well but she could write notes fairly good when she needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn Grandma started leaning off to the
right and some family members grabbed her and straightened her up and
stuffed pillows on her right.

A short time later she started leaning off to her left and again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward and the family members again grabbed her and tied a pillow case around her waist to hold her up.

A nephew who arrived late came running up to Grandma and said, "Hi
Grandma, you're looking good, how are they treating you?" Grandma
motioned for her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew,

"They won't let me fart".

...:smash: .......OK, enough of this.......:smash:

IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK....you spend most of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day (free).
AT WORK.....you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it yourself.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK.....you get rewarded for good behavior with more WORK.

IN PRISON...a guard locks and unlocks the doors for you.
AT WORK.....you must carry around a security card and unlock open all the doors yourself.

IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK.....you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK.....you have to share.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK.....you can not even speak to your family and friends.

IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all.
AT WORK.....you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then
they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life looking through the bars from
the inside wanting to get out.
AT WORK.....you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go
inside bars

:D.........Good one Chris.......

.......I think I've outposted myself on here...and members will be calling me silly Gilly soon......so, NO MORE!.......


....sorry for the monotony....:( .....I guess I thought we had a shot.











:rolleyes:

Looks like we are doing OK. I'm trying to do my part, but I can't hold a candle to bloo's efforts.

Bloo -

Over, did somebody say over, it ain't over until was say it's over. was it over when the germans bombed pearl harbor? Hell No! And it ain't over now......

;)

"who's with me? let's go"

......YOU MEAN THE PARTY'S STILL ON????........



:bounce: :beat: :cheers: .....


...I'LL BRING THE DANCERS!!!!!!!.......


http://striped-bass.com/images/bloo/hula5.gif

......WHERE'S DON HO, WHEN YOU NEED HIM???.......


......tiny bubbles, in the wine ....makes me feel happy....


.......makes me feel fine..:D:D

Where's the striped bass I used to know? Ohhhh, we don't want to go with you Bluto we might get in trouble! Not ME, Nidermayer dead, moremer dead, you know what he's right, sick and pychotic but right. Now we can fight them with conventional weapons but that could take a million years and cost dozen of lives, what this situation calls for is a stupid gesture on our part, and WE ARE JUST THE GUYS TO DO IT, NOW WHOS' WITH ME?

who am I ? where am I ? what am I ? why am I ?
If I was someone else would I still be me ?

bloo keep it up your already silly gilly , so !

Join the club , as soon as BM gets out of retirement we will be a force to deal out some insanity !

Ahh, come on guys! You're gonna hafta try harder than that if you want to win! Over at TechIMO we've got one that's almost 800 posts already. :D http://www.techimo.com/forum/tid12106/pp30/pn1/index.html

Nahhhh Bloo - yer doing fine & yes I saw a lot of what you posted it's just that it's impacting how much work I can get done at work, ya know? 3 hours of readin means that I only have 6-7 hours a day to do 24 hrs of work

:smash: :smash: :smash: :smash:

nice hula girl ;)

Yo Chaos, you only have 10 x our members ;) - Good luck but tell any of yer fishermen/women to come over here for the good stuff

Endowhatever,
Nice name, what the heck does it mean????
MZ

testing

hey ummm......anyone see my keys?......

......FOUND EM' !!!......:D........they were in my pocket...


...hey I'm heading over to Wendy's to pick up some grub.....you guys want anything?......

......its Poker night.....not Pok-er night....;)


.....can 8 people play with one deck?.......:D

.......yes, but could you play 7 card poker....???......


NO, only 5 card games......stud, draw, no - peak....and a few more House games....pickem' Wallstreet....etc...

....Ok, I gotta hit the Road......the fellas are waiting for me....


...Wish me luck.......;)


......any card players on here?....

gee.. bro crab... get out now! your cabin is getting to hot!

........kinda crazy though......:confused:


How does a game that starts off with quarters....end up costing you over a hundred bucks?.....


......sheeeesh, I got no luck.........:smash:

......Hey Red,:btu: :happy: One last post before I split.....





....If a tree falls in the woods, and there's nobody there to hear it.......does it make sound?.....



........ummmm.....does it really matter?....:confused:


.......who came up with questions like that?......:af: ....must have been some unemployed guy...:laughs:


......ooooooooooops......:D

bloo...you playing gut(3 card) or acey duecey(2 card), played a few hands of gut and seen some $500+ pots, all started from a quarter

Acey Duecy.....:smash: :smash:


......what a pile builder that can be!!!......sux when your the last guy in line too!!........



.....thank goodness the deal rotates!!!........



enuffs enuff!!!.........gotta run........see' ya Red.....:)

dude! sorry your snow trip didnt go so well......maybe if we ever get any flippin snow around here I will have to send you an invite.....

um...am I too late to put my order in for wendys?????? Damn....

oh and hi John...hi slip

Originally posted by Marc Z
Endowhatever,
Nice name, what the heck does it mean????
MZ Hey, thanks for the compliment man!
The definition:en·do·bi·ot·ic
adj.
Living as a parasite or symbiont within the tissues of a host.
Reason: I wanted "InternalChaos" on AIM... but it was already taken. So I flipped through the dictionary and found this word... Heh.

So, all you guys do lots of fishing huh?

...Just read the Fishermen!!!.....:af: :af:

...I edited it, pointing out the important stuff. It goes a little something like this.

ANGLERS CAUGHT: The New Jersey Division of Fish and Game seized a catch of tautog made aboard a party boat where two Chinese fishermen from Brooklyn set up aerated barrels in the bow of that party boat and proceeded to fill them with 120 tautog. Since the limit in New Jersey is 10 per day during the season, Officer Joseph Meyer seized 100 fish - including 33 tog which were less than the 14- inch minimum. These same bandits had been caught the previous week on another party boat in a different port with 90 tautog and had their equipment seized at that time.


......Whats the problem here???...:af: Are the fines not high enough!!....:mad: :af: :mad: Maybe there should be JAIL TIME for repeat offenders!!!.....I mean come on, the very next week!!!

...Let me try to put a smile back on our faces :rolleyes:


A woman walks into a shop that sells VERY EXPENSIVE PERSIAN RUGS.
She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect
it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed
her little accident and hopes a sales person does not pop up right now.
As she turns back, there, standing next to her is a salesman. "Good
day Ma'am, how may we help you today ?"

Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, how much does this rug cost?"
He answers, "Lady if you farted just touching it, you're gonna #^&#^&#^&#^&
in your pants when you hear what the price is!

Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" David's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," David says.

Why Osama Bin Laden," his father asks in shock. "Well," David says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

His father's heart swells and he looks at his boy with new found pride. "David, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," David says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of that "#@#%#!#&##"

...John, the next joke is borderline.......but its too funny not to share.......





......."Parents don't let your kids grow up to be Cowboys"...

Two cowboys from Arkansas walk
into a roadhouse to wash the trail dust
from their throats. They stand at the
bar, drinking their beers and talking
quietly about cattle prices.

Suddenly a woman at a table behind
them who had been eating a sandwich
begins to cough. After a minute or
so it becomes apparent that she is in
real distress. The cowboys turn to look at her.

"Kin yah swallow? Asked one of the cowboys.
The woman shakes her head "No"
"Kin yah breathe?" asked the other cowboy.
The woman, beginning to turn
a bit blue, shakes her head "NO" again.

The first cowboy walks over to her,
lifts up the back of her skirt,
yanks down her panties, and slowly runs
his tongue from the back of her thigh
up to the small of her back. This shocks
the woman to a violent spasm, the
obstruction flies out of her mouth,
and she begins to breathe again.

The cowboy walks back over to the
bar and takes a drink of his beer.
His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heard
of that there Hind Lick Maneuver, but
I ain't never seen nobody do it.

:( ...I'm sorry, I'll go to my room.

A man is in the woods by himself, he sez something, even though his wife is not there to hear it, is he still wrong?http://www.minorannoyance.net/~spin/Smilies/otn/violent/Dippie.gif

gee, if everyone that has viewed this thread had posted just by saying hi and tell us if they feel the need to fish. we'd be looking pretty sweet bout now

And on that note I think I'll wet a line!

...red, I was thinkin the same thing....:mad:


....over 1200 views....!!!


...how much longer does it take to post, than view?......one minute?..not even.!!!